No one is getting any sleep

And I mean NO ONE.  One of the twins, William, who has been high needs pretty much from conception has never been a good sleeper.  He sleeps his nights maybe 2.3 times a week.  The other nights I am up with him at least twice and sometimes I am up with him every 2 hrs.  I am starting to go insane.  He screams constantly.  The twins share a room but tonight when the hysterics wouldn't stop I had to step away from him, so I moved Nathaniel in with Donevan who has a double bed.  I am now seriously thinking of moving Donevan into the twins room and having William in a room on his own.  I don't know what else to do short of a sleep study.  I need sleep.  I can't function anymore.

 

We went through something similar with our boys. For a long time, Riley would wake up screaming or end up in our bedroom between 3:00 and 5:00 am. Then, the screaming stopped and he moved on to just coming into our bedroom and waking me up. Eventually, he'd just come in and sleep on our floor. And, this was on top of the horseplay and constant up and down from 8:00 to 11:00 every night. It's only been within the last few months that it's stopped. 
 
Here are some things that helped...
 
Separating them. 
Wearing them out during the day. During the summer, we swam almost every day. During the school year, I'd just try to keep them busy until dinnertime with activities or going outside after school so they'd collapse from sheer exhaustion. 
Having the "you're a big boy now, so if you wake up in the middle of the night, it's okay to get a drink of water and ask me to rub your back, but you've got to stay in bed" talk. 
Limiting sugar intake at night. We don't "do" a lot of sugar around here anyway, but I do especially try to make sure they do NOT get anything like that after school. It makes them crazy. I'm not a food Nazi, but I have seen the difference in their behavior when they're eating too much crap and it absolutely affects their sleep. 
 
The other possibility here is night terrors. I have friends who's children have had severe anxiety over going to bed because their nightmares are so awful. With Riley, it was just an overly active imagination and not so much "scary" stuff, but it caused a lot of issues before bedtime and it was just a matter of waiting it out with him and not being too strict about him coming in to sleep on our floor (we aren't co-sleepers, but I do try to be lenient with them if they're having issues). 
 
I have no idea if any of that is helpful, but I will tell you that it got better for us and we're back to a regular sleeping pattern here (or I am, DH wasn't always the biggest help :lol. If you're really concerned, I would absolutely consult your pediatrician if you haven't already. We all know that sleep is important for kids, but it's also really, really important for you. I hope you find a solution soon. Many :hug: to you. 

 

Thanks!  They are in school all day long.  I dropped them off at daycare at 6:45, they are on the bus by 8:20. et  School starts at 9:15.  They are then back on the bus at 3:40 and get to daycare by 4:30 and I pick them up at 5:45.  They are exhausted and when they go to bed at 7:00 there isnt a peep from their room.  William usually wakes for the first time around 11 and it's usually for water.  Then we could be good for the night or up every 2 hours and there are nights, like last nigh where he'll through a knock down drag out tantrum with pounding of the feet and throwing himself to the ground screaming, which went on for 45 mins straight last night around 1 am. 
 
They don't get much sugar during the day, their school has a strict food policy they that enforces healthy snacks and lunches.  For desert after dinner it's usually a yogurt or a fruit. 
 
He's never been a sleeper.  I am not a co sleeper either, I hate it to be honest but there are nights i let him sleep with me so that I can get some sleep.  Maybe it is night terrors.  I'll look into that
 
Thanks again!

 

I've been here with my son.  It's much better now.  But he was a horrible sleeper from infant through age 4.  I was not a co sleeper and was very strict about not giving in to his tantrums - meaning I didn't agree to his crazy tantrumming demands during the night, even though it prolonged the tantrum.  But I figured he would learn faster that he wasn't going to get his way with this behavior. He went through bad phases where he formed a habit quickly.  So one bad night was all it took to have a month of horrible tantrumming sleep episodes.  I have no idea if he knew what he was doing while it was going on.  Sometimes he would seem to remember it the next day, others he wouldn't.  I don't have much advice, because I don't think anything I did or didn't do worked.  I think it's his personality, he's a worrier and a very active thinker.  His brain never shuts down, ever.  Once he hit 4, I got to sleep again.  Now he has sporadic night terrors.  I don't know if they are true night terrors, but he will scream for me from his bed when I'm sitting right next to him, and he won't open his eyes.  There's nothing I can do to snap him out of it.  Yet, when I get up to leave he screams harder, as if he knows I'm there.  I can't figure it out.  He started this again recently, but he was just sick and I know he's not getting enough sleep with this new school year schedule.  They need at least 11+ hrs, and they're getting a little more than 10.5.  Over time, that half hour is having a huge impact.  His behavior during the day is borderline too.  He tries his best to hold it together, but things that would normally roll off his back are affecting him now.  For him, sleep is everything.  And when you get stuck in a bad cycle I know how hard it is to get them back on track.  I need to start putting him to bed ridiculously early for a few nights, and I think that will get him back on track.  A couple things my doctor has recommended was melatonin (which I never tried) and gently waking him before he wakes for one of his episodes, to alter his sleep cycle habits.  I never tried that either, I was too scared!  Sorry, not much help here. But, if nothing else, it will eventually get better over time.  You'll just be very tired until then!  My kids sleep in separate rooms, but they share a wall.  My daughter is an amazing sleeper and barely stirs when he does this.  I think she learned from an early age how to sleep through his episodes.

 

I was going to chime in with night terrors too. Does he remember what is going on, or seem aware? Ozzy gets them periodically and they seem to come in spurts over several nights. He seems like he knows what's happening, but he is just screaming and wandering around or fighting. Sometimes picking him up and squeezing him works, sometimes I just have to let him wander around and make sure he doesn't go down the stairs. Eventually he finds a soft place to sleep and is out like a light. He has no idea what happened in the morning.
 
I would probably separate the boys for a while so that at least they're getting uninterrupted sleep. At least that way you're only dealing with one kid in the middle of the night! I do try to wake him a bit before I go to bed to disrupt his sleep cycle. When things get really bad, I find that he sleeps better in my bed; I guess that subconscious security? Or maybe it disrupts his sleep cycle more often so he doesn't have the terrors? I don't know. It's not the best solution, but it gets us through the harder nights.
 
Good luck, sleep issues are always the worst ones to resolve!

 

He rarely walks up Nathaniel.  I think Nathaniel is used to the screaming.  It's all his listened to for almost 4 years.  I am beginning to think it's school.  The midnight tantrums and the clamming he is scared when it's bedtime started when school started.  He hates change, and going to school is a huge change, plus them.  I have toyed with asking the school to put them in the same class, BUT Nathaniel is doing really well and is excelling and I am afraid that if they put them in the same class, it may help William but hinder Nathaniel.  I am at a loss.

 

A big hug to you! Sleep is so important for everyone.
 
I was also going to suggest nighttime terrors, but change and the resulting unconscious worrying and adjusting are a probably explanation too. I would not disrupt the school routine or change classes yet though, it is a big change and some kids need a ling time to adjust. With my DD it took nearly until Christmas for her to settle in after starting pre-school.
 
DD always was and still is a bad sleeper too, she is 4 now and still wakes and cries (no tantrums now she has grown out of the nighttime terrors) most nights and rarely sleeps through a night. One of us has to get up at least twice a night most nights to settle her again. If co-sleeping is not for you, have you tried giving him a nest on the floor beside your bed or moving to a mattress in his room on bad nights? We used to co-sleep but I now prefer to join the kids in their room, rub her back a bit and settle down there on my own mattress - she can hear me, I can reach over to soothe her and rub her back but she stays in her bed. She used to come over to our room every night and DH and I were not getting enough sleep so we worked on getting her to stay in her room and bed even when she wakes, and knowing we are close by often settles her quite quickly.

 

The nights I do give in and co sleep he still wakes often.  Haven't tried going into his room, not sure how that would work with my 2, I think it would turn into one big party for them.  I am fairly certain it is school now.  William is now having frequent accidents on top of the night time waking, non stop screaming and tantrums.  I really am at a loss as to what to do to help him