No more naps, how to enforce quiet time?

Hi there Moms (and Dads) -
I took my daughter's pacifier away 3 weeks ago and ever since she probably napped only twice -- and those two times were not recent. When nap time comes she goes to her bedroom with her brother with no problem -- I let them both bring a toy with them...and still she is not falling asleep and instead is fighting with me. I told her today and other days that she doesn't have to go to sleep but we are having quiet time -- she tells me no that she will not be quiet.

Today she got out of her crib several times on her own -- dumped out her clothes drawer, threw all of her toys out of her bed, etc.

I'm so sick of fighting with her...how do I enforce quiet time or what would you do? I'm home by myself a minimum of three days by myself because my husband travels for work -- no family around...so I desperately need at least an hour to myself every day.

Help! I'm desperate in Seattle!

 

I found that the more I fought it (telling them to stay in their room, with books, etc...) always backfired. They ended up playing, being loud, and often making a huge mess! So for quiet time, we put on a movie in the living room and relax on the couch. So there's no alone time, but there is downtime! I mourned the loss of naps (it's HARD giving up that you-time) but like anything else, I've adapted to it Good luck!

 

I do the same thing as amelowe does. I did this with my older kids too. After lunch, around 1:30-2pm, I stick a kid friendly movie in and we all snuggle in on the couch (my 5 yr old has half days of 4k this year so she's home with us too). I can get the twins to stay settled for about an hour before they start getting down off the couch to play. And they sit better if they have a toy in their hand and their juice cups nearby, otherwise they keep getting up for more juice just because it let's them get up off the couch

I do miss naps, desperately some days! And when I'm sick (like right now) I wish I could take a nap myself! I do tend to doze on the couch during the movie. But the kids get to snuggle up with me under blankets and they enjoy the snuggle time, I enjoy the quiet time It's better than the naptime battles and then the bedtime battles when they don't need as much sleep!

 

We don't do quiet time. If they're not tired, they will just play anyway (and we only have stuffies and bedding in their room). At least they go to bed earlier now so it's not that bad.

 

i have one that also resists naps sometime. when he does, he comes into the living room where i am working (next to kitchen) and plays quietly w/toys, eats w/me, or helps me out. then we try again in a llitle while to go in his room. sometimes it works.... are you almost ready to get rid of the cribs? i would imagine if you could get them into beds and sort of talk it up from the angle that this is what big kids do (ie, quiet time) she might buy it more. (but, maybe i'm just jealous taht yours are still in cribs. we've been out since before mine were 2).

best of luck. none of this is easy!

 

Do they share a room? That might make it a little more difficult. Mine have separate rooms and they can play quietly in their room or choose to take a nap. Surprisingly, about half the time they choose to take a nap. Sometimes they have me tuck them in at the beginning, other times they get tired while playing and lie down and fall asleep in their bed. Then there are days they are a little wild and keep going into each others room. Sometimes I'm strict and put a gate on the their door, other times I just let it slide. I set a clock in their room (the stoplight type that changes color) so they know when the hour is up. My daughter is better at playing by herself quietly and can keep busy with a lot of different quiet toys. She loves to read, she reads to her babies, she plays with her dollhouse, her magnet dolls, and her trios. They each have a shelf with toys in their room. My son has a harder time playing alone, but he's coming around. Especially if I give him some ideas of things he can do. Sometimes if they seem bored with what they have I'll bring up the blocks or some puzzles - something different they haven't seen in ahwhile - to work on. They aren't always quiet, but for the most part I get an hour to myself to lie down and read.

If mine did share a room and they were both done with naps, I'd probably just bring out some special quiet time toys they can play with together, but make sure they know the rule is they have to stay in their room until quiet time is over (maybe with a clock of some sort, so they didn't keep coming out to check when the time was up).

 

so... she's almost 3?

#1... you think you could give her back the pacifier and transition to the toddler bed that way so that she'd have her self soothing paci to help her? then later take it away?? I know when I tried toddler beds at 2 yrs it was a disaster, but, like you I'd already taken the paci's away.. I wonder now if it'd have worked better to do the beds first to establish naptime again.

#2... was she resisting bedtime at night before all of this? ours were pushing the bedtime to after 9pm and closer to 9:30p before they'd settle down at 3 yrs old... soon after 3 I took naps away and bedtime is much earlier now. I wonder if she's not tired.

I like the ideas for quiet time. for us it's hard, and I haven't really enforced it yet. we started 5 mornings pre school and I haven't quite gotten a "schedule" for afternoons yet. I only have 3 afternoons and grandparents have 2, so there will be some inconsistencies... but we do try for some quieter time... though it's with me. I love the idea of me being able to do something while they are quiet...

good luck! hope it's going well.

 

I found this NY Times Articleabout naps and children. I found it helpful in just understanding the body and naps. Sometimes my girls fight the nap, it bugs me because I know they need it, and so do I! My girls are 2.5 years old (well will be official on 10/7).

I did go through similar situation that you went through (girls being a tornado in their room), and I took everything out of their room- dresser, toys, everything, and their clothes out of the closet since right now we don't have doors on it (ah!different story!). I just made sure that their beds were cozy (created a nest type situation). Every once in awhile they manage to grab my clothes hanging (you know the nice jackets, and stuff they are not supposed to touch!), but this just started happening.... Anyway, our bedroom has three dressers in it at the moment, and their bathroom is cramped, but having to put clean clothes away for the second time sends my blood boiling.