No kids allowed to visit hospital!

The hospital where I'm set to deliver just announced that no one under 18 years old will be allowed to visit certain parts of the hospital, including the birth center, due to H1N1... I'm so, so, so upset about this!!!

My 38-week point, when my doc will scheduled a C-section is Dec. 22. That was hard enough to hear, because I had a minor meltdown realizing that I would have to be in the hospital on Christmas Eve (doc said she would discharge me Christmas morning). So my DH promised that he and DD would bring a mini celebration to the hospital on Christmas Eve instead of heading to the holiday gatherings. I don't want to spend the holidays without both my husband and my dear little girl, who doesn't want Mommy in the hospital as it is.

Today the newspaper said that kids are not allowed there now -- what are the chances they lift the ban by the time I deliver? I can't imagine going days without seeing my daughter, let alone during the holidays, and her not being able to meet her new siblings! I'm so upset.

Neither myself or my docs anticipate me delivering early either, since my ultrasound yesterday showed that my cervix is very long and I don't have any complications or issues.

Has anyone else facing the same dilemna? I hate to be such a weepy mess over this, but I am!

 

:hug: Momma! I have no idea whether or not they will lift the ban in time. At that time, it will still be in the thick of the flu season. Can you Dr. deliver you 1 or 2 days early so you can be discharged in time to be home for Christmas? I can't imagine how hard that must be. Try to keep your head up. I couldn't think of a better Christmas surprise for your family! :hug:

 

I know it completely sucks but it is for the safety of you and your babies. It's likely these bans will continue well into the winter. I am facing it as well with a delivery in the next 6-8 weeks. My 4 yo son won't meet his baby brothers until they come home, and that includes if they stay in the NICU.

You have to remember, people in hospitals are dying from this virus. It may not always be publicized. My recent u/s tech said she'd had lots of complaints from expectant mothers, but what they did not know is that they had recently had two people die from it right there in that hospital. It was a real wake up call for me.

We have already planned as a family to delay our holiday celebration if all of this takes place over Christmas. I would really suggest you do the same - there is nothing saying you have to celebrate on 12/25. Pick a day that works for you guys and make it super special

Hopefully your hospital stay won't be too long and you can plan a special meeting for your DD and these babies as soon as they come home! Hang in there!

 

It seems a little unreasonable that they HAVE to schedule the c/s that day. I would think they could adjust it by a day or two in either direction. On the other hand, maybe you could do your christmas celebration on a different day instead? We do our family celebration a week or two ahead of time because christmas and christmas eve are just too busy for us to enjoy time with just 'us.'

Look on the bright side... think of all those moms on hospital bedrest that cannot see their children at all now...for weeks or months. Now that would be truly heartbreaking.

 

This is my biggest fear right now... I feel awful for those moms!!!

 

My hospital just announced the same thing !!! I am only allowed my husband and my mom ( for labor support ). but my mom will be watching my kids at home. I seriously don't know how I am going to handle not seeing my kids for possibly 2 days. I have only been away from them for 1 night, and never a whole day ! They are still so young and it is really hard on them to be away from me. The last time I was in the hospital they had to stay with my MIL and she just cried herself to sleep because she wanted me. I know it is for everyones protection but this is going to be very hard I just pray that I have a smooth delivery and babies are both healthy so we can come home as soon as possible. This is just so hard and it's the biggest worry on my mind other than the twins being born healthy.

 

At my hospital DS can't come into the maternity ward, but I can go out to the lobby to see him for a quick visit -- you might want to check and see if that is an option...

 

I'm sorry! I would be upset, too. My eldest was 3 when my twins were born, and she was really upset that she wasn't allowed in the NICU or preemie nursery to see them -- so everyone else in the family got to see them before she did.

In your shoes, I think I would try to do a special Christmas celebration a week or two early at home, with your family. (See how your pregnancy is going by that point, and have it as early as you need to.)

It does stink. But, I hope your little ones arrive safely, and everyone stays healthy!

 

:hug: I'm sorry. I know that stinks. I have a feeling this "no child" rule in hospitals is going to continue until flu season is over.

 

My Dr just told us that they have the same policy AND we can only have ONE visitor the entire time we are there. So when DH leaves to see DD, I will most likely be alone which saddens me a bit. I appreciate the precautions but when babies are born, people are so excited that they make consolations for themselves and don't consider others.

I have to tell myself it's a way to protect our babies.

What also bugs, is that it forces people to visit us at home when we get there. When DD was born, we asked people to give us a week or so before visiting because I wanted to get established with BFing and our new life. I would feel bad if people had to wait until the babies are 3-4 weeks old to see them.

 

I work on a Mom Baby Unit and I know it stinks but we have to protect our babies. You can go to the lobby to visit. I know it stinks...I spent Christmas alone at Children's Hospital with one of the twins their first Christmas....now that was horrible. It,too, was flu season so me and Allie were in the hospital (she had RSV) and DH, and the other 3 kids were home : ( I wish you a long healthy pregnancy but just think, your babies could be here by mid December. Good luck!

 

Same here in public hospitals. It's in the best interest of your babies and all other babies (and people) in the hospital, especially those are who are weaker already ...

 

We have the same rule. While I understand it, it makes me furious! How many adults are walking through that hospital with it and spreading it too? I see absolutely no reason that my daughter couldn't get washed up wear a mask and even a scrub suit and come to see her sisters at least 1 time. When any adult can just walk in and hold my babies. They may be fine at the moment but how do we know that they won't be sick tomorrow. I think the rule is a little outrageous. At our hospital my 11 year old can't even see that babies on the post partum wing or in the nursery window, because they all are considered off limits. It's a little ridiculous that she can't look at them through the window.

 

I agree...why it is a sad thing, I can totally understand it.

No...you can't control everything when it comes to people in the Hospital spreading illness, but you can control what you can by NOT having "non-essential" peo
Being there.

Besides...some people can spread it before there are even signs of illness.

Me...I would be FURIOUS is some kid was in the NICU or some other area and spread something to one of my children while they were fighting for their lives.

Yes, adults can spread germs also, but my thoughts are, if they aren't needed...keep em out. Preemies and Newborns have enough problems and things to deal with as it is.

I'm sure there is someone on here that can say that their child got sick this way...now THAT would upset me.

What's more important...having your kid there, or helping a defenseless baby have the best chance of survival?

All you have to do is read a story (yes, it was an adult, not a child, but still), that came in to the NICU to see her baby and she was coughing and sick, but before the nurses could run her out, she passed on the flu to her child(who passed) and got 6 other of the kids in there sick.

A monent or day of inconienance, or a lifetime of joy? Easy choice...

 

Exactly what Pitbullzz said.

Which is worse: your having to spend 3 days without your daughter or a family having to spend a lifetime without their baby who died from something your daughter brought in?

I wish my hospital were stricter--they have limited visitors to "a few" people. I know that some people will think that means 10. :blink:

 

It's a fact that children (especially at schools) spread diseases very easily. All schools in HK need to close as soon as 10% of the school population gets sick in order to avoid further spreading. At my daughter's school they had 14 cases out of 720 students (flu season here doesn't start until Feb / March since it's still in the 70s/80s here), very very good. They disinfect their hands every time they enter the class room and they do extra cleaning and disinfecting rounds. Kids are less careful when it comes to spreading (simple) diseases. They don't cover their mouths, wash their hands all the time, touch everything, that's why adults can come in but kids don't. It's not a best situation but again it's in your children (and in everybody's best interest in the end).

 

At our hospital all workers have to get the flu shot and H1N1 shot or wear a mask from November to March. We are putting ourselves under restrictions, not just our visitors.

 

I think an adults is as likely to spread the flu as a child... Some adults I know have less manners regarding coughing and hand-washing than my daughter does. During flu season, I don't mind banning children or miscellaneous adults from the NICU. However, if I'm in a room on the maternity floor for 3 days, I don't see a problem with immediate family -- such as my daughter and husband -- visiting me, especially if they are not showing signs of illness, wash their hands and are innoculated against both the seasonal flu and H1N1, as they are. I would sign a waiver for that. Also, if they can't visit the floor, they should provide an area where I can visit for an hour or so, especially during the holidays. Just my opinion.

Is it only 3 days or so? Yes. But my daughter has never been away from me for that long, and suddenly getting two siblings is an adustment in itself. And what stops her -- or anyone else for that matter -- from spreading germs to them at home on Day 4? Again, just my opinion.

 

I am sorry this has you so upset, but I still don't think you are completely getting it. Children do NOT show signs of H1N1 nearly as soon as adults do - it can be days before something shows up. This is the reason for the rule on children, period.

And, it's not about someone infecting just your child, it's everyone else in the hospital too. Signing a waiver for yourself, doesn't protect others in the hospital. And what happens outside of the hospital is not their concern - it is what happens on the inside that matters to them. People are dying from this virus, it's very serious. I'm sure you wouldn't want someone else bringing their sick child, showing no symptoms yet, into the hospital and putting your newborns at risk.

Make the best of it, because it's not likely to change. That is what I'm doing as well. I am preparing for this so that it's not a shock when I deliver.

 

:hug: I know that it must seem like it is going to be very hard, but you will all make it for those 3 days just fine. :hug: I am sure that you could visit your daughter in the lobby of the hospital, maybe have your DH pick up some take-out and you three could eat down there one or two days?

Unfortunately, kids are more likely to spread germs. They don't practice good hygiene, they aren't great about covering their noses or mouths when sneezing and coughing, they aren't very good at telling their parents when their throats seem a little scratchy or they just aren't feeling "quite right". Adults can make judgment calls about how they are feeling, kids - especially young kids - can't. Also, while you may be very conscientious and not bring your DD into a hospital when she is showing signs of illness there are others who would not be so responsible - so a policy like this takes that risk away.

 

I think she gets it. What she needs and what I needed was for someone to say "i'm so sorry you're having to go through this" I completely understand the rule. However I don't think she's asking to bring her child into the NICU. She just wants to be able to see her child sometime during the stay. At our hospital you have to go outside to smoke. So how about those women who smoke who've just delivered? They get in a wheelchair, go all the way through the hospital passing anyone and everyone then go outside and smoke a stinkin cigarettte and go right back into labor and deliver and hold their child who goes back to the nursery. We could debate this over and over and no one will win. We just want an opportunity to see our other children for a moment and reassure them that they are still a part of this new family and like it or not that can't be done by anyone but Mom. We were told that my 11 year old couldn't even sit in the waiting room. That's totally insane. However, i've since talked with my OB about the issues and she's put my mind at ease a bit. We all know these rules are meant for our own good and the good of our children but if you were the one sitting in your hospital room flooded with emotions and couldn't see your child that is so excited about her new family then you could feel the pain a bit. I will see my daughter during my hospital stay even if it's for a minute and I have to go "smoke".

 

Applejack, all good points - I am in the very same boat... I will be sitting in the hospital missing my 4 year old, and quite possibly right smack dab in the middle of the holidays. I don't think anyone here is insensitive to the emotions that accompany a situation like this. It sucks for all involved.

 

My hospital is the same. The antepartum and post partum units are trying to have some way of allowing the women outside to see their children. They are too afraid of people leaving AMA (against medical advice).

I'll be here for a few weeks (pre term labor, hospital bed rest) and HATE the fact that I cannot see my 2 year old. But I understand why the rule is there. This is just a drop in the bucket in terms of time...I can deal with it the best I can....

 

I so sorry, that really stinks. You are clearly not alone with this situation but it truly makes sense to protect those new born babies. This may sound harsh but delaying meeting the babies for 1 or 2 days will not make a difference for your older child in the long run and could save babies lives. IT stinks but makes a lot of sense.

I agree about seeing if you can get your induction pushed up a couple days. I'm sure you doc would like 1 less patient on Christmas day.

 

I work in the hospital and I believe that it's very important to the keep the patients with the weakest immunities as safe as possible. It is in the mothers best interest to limit the people that hold her baby. That being said every single person coming to visit has some sort of bacteria/virus that they could potentially spread to the baby. The father of the baby may have the sniffles or a cough, the mom in the next bed giving birth may have a sore throat, the nurse/pediatrician/pca, etc..... I admire the moms who want to immediately introduce the new baby/babies to the older children esp when the older kids are <2. to me I'll enjoy the time to enjoy the babies in peace and recuperate and my other children won't really understand how much time has gone by. They will quickly adjust to grandma/grandpas house for a few days and be pampered over there and when they meet their brother/sister they won't care that they weren't the first ones to meet the baby, in fact I'm pretty sure they'll go on to something else 10 minutes after they meet the baby. However, for the mom who started this post I understand the frustration of not being able to control this very personal time in your life and I hope you find a happy medium.

 

For sure...when I was 11 and was told I would have to go to Grandma and Grampa's for a few days (while they spoiled me ROTTEN) because my Mom was in the hospital having one of my siblings. I'd be all for that.

Pizza, Video Games and Ice Cream??? Come on now. Gotta think as an 11 year old not and adult thinking what an 11 year old wants.

I agree...not the best situation for some, nor do I think anyone is being insensitive.

I am glad my Hospital has these policies. Even if they didn't, I know a lot of people still wouldn't allow (unescessary) Family Members in, but for those that would...another reason to give Kudos for the policy.

I wasn't taking any chances with my babies being born so young, and holding on by a thread, and I'm glad the Hospital made sure I didn't have to worry about other people who did not feel the same way.

Anyways...I hope it works out for the best, and the time is minimal you have to spend away fro her. Just think of it as an early practice for her going off to Summer Camp or some other place where she will be away from you for a few days. I know when I hit my pre-teens...nothing more that I wanted than to get a break from my parents and be a "Big Boy". Not that I didn't like my parents, but come on...I was alomst thirTEEN. LOL

 

...And I will say that I might be a bit more Biased towards this policy, since have fragile twins more early.

I know you are bummed, just try to think of the positives and they will outweigh the negatives with your daughter not being there(not that it will erase it, but maybe help a tad)

I feel for the ladies that have to stay in the hospital for weeks on bed rest...that's gotta be tough.

I know the cliche "It could be worse..." is probably not the most valid for this discussion, but I wld have given anything to have DW away from the family for 2-3 days over the holidays than deal with what we had to.

...But of course...venting is ALWAYS allowed, but not all venting results in just a "pity party"...some will want to add their opinions as well

I hope this all becomes moot for you soon and you guys are all together as quick as possible..

 

I'm in the same boat. I'm expecting my twins in February and my little girl will only be 16 months old. She won't understand why Mommy isn't there and it breaks my heart. I do respect the policy, though. Health of little babies comes first. Still can't help being sad at the thought of it, though.

The only thing I don't understand is that the policy at my hospital says "regardless of vaccination status". My daughter has had her first H1N1 vaccine and I will get her the 2nd round (assuming I can find it). If she's vaccinated, why can't she visit?

Also, is it a big hospital no-no to slip out and visit her? I thought about going to the coffee shop around the corner to see my little sweetie.

 

The only reason I can think of is that they maybe just aren't worried about the H1N1.

Not sure though. Never really delved into our Hospital's Policies.

I do know that with our...H1N1 is far from our only concern.

I even told my In-Laws to expect a wait to see them once they get home. We aren't allowing ANYONE over, espicially since Merrick has to go in for surgery just a week after having him home. Marlee is still in the NICU.

Not to say the Hospital is 100 percent sanitary...far from it, but it's just a big enough shock to their systems having them go from the hospital to our home..espicially with RDS and the worst season for sickness here and coming.

In this case, the good outweighs the bad. Nothing is life threatining for waiting a few days, but NOT waiting "could" be.

It sucks and I feel for you ladies...and guys.

 

Wow, I know this is a very difficult rule to have to deal with. I too had never really been away from my son for more than a few days, but I have now been on hospital bedrest for 6 weeks (going on 7wks) and am only able to see my son for 1 hour a day (my hospital made an exception for antepartum *only*). It was so hard b/c I am a SAHM and have only had a sitter every other week or so for a few hours.

It is super difficult, but what choice is there? Fortunately, young children are so resilient, 3 days away from them will have no lasting effects. About a year ago I was so worried when we left my son with my parents to go to on a 3 day mini-vacation. I was so concerned that he would miss me so much and that he would be unhappy. But in reality he had a fabulous time with and seemed totally unphased.

As for christmas, your child won't know if you're celebrating it a day or two before or after (or even a week before), it's just the family togetherness that's important. I had to spend my anniversary in the hospital and if the babies hold out till my c-section date (dec 11) I will end up having to spend my husband's birthday, thanksgiving and my own birthday in the hospital. Does it suck? Yep, but it will all be a faded memory soon after the babies are here and them being healthy is the #1 priority (which is why the hospital has these rules in place)!

One last thought is that if you have a c-section, it could be even more upsetting for your child to see you looking "sick" than to be away from you for 3 days.

Anyhow, hang in there, before you know it those 3 days without your child will come and go so quickly you won't even remember it and neither will she!

 

H1N1 or not, this happens every spring where I'm from, while the RSV virus is running rampant. And quite frankly I wouldn't have it any other way. The hospital is making those rules for the safety of the patients, not to bother or annoy them.

I am happy that the hospital is and will be looking out for my babies and I would be absolutely devastated if my daughters brought some bug into the hospital while visiting me and new babies. I don't see the devastation of not being able to see them for a day or two. That's life

 

Maybe you could do a trial run of your daughter spending the night with someone else before the babies are born so she can get used to the idea of you not being with her. When my twins were born my youngest (then 18mos) had never even spent one night away from home and she did fine while I was in the hospital. She did come up and visit us once for about 30 min but that was a nightmare and in hindsight I wish I had told my mom to not bring the kids up at all.

 

I just checked, and the hospital we will deliver at also has a lot of restrictions now. Nobody under the age of 18 at all, only 2 labor support people for women in labor, and only 2 visitors at a time after the baby is born.

DD may be 18 by the time my babies are born (she has a late April b-day). I hope that at least she might be able to come visit.

Hospitals seem quick to set restrictions but not so quick to lift them. I would imagine they are still in place this spring too.