No gifts please

I decided that I don't want anymore toys in my house since twins prefer playing with toys that I make ( and for a short time as with all other toys <_< ). I am in process in creating invitations and would like to write " No gifts please, your presence is more important." or something like that. Instead of gifts, we would like to ask for "donations" towards purchasing 2 convertible seats.
I don't know exact wording yet, my DH is working on that, but do you think it would be OK to ask for donations. I have tons of friends who love to shop for babies, but I am kind of girl( I see myself being more practical) who always prefers gift cards. I hate receiving or giving to someone some useless things, and gift cards are always the best gift in my opinion.
Please share.Thank you.

 

Im the same way. By the time the twins came along we really didn't need to much more. We already had enough form the other kids. In fact, when It comes to birthdays or holidays I had to ask that people please keep their gifts to only one (books and clothes no limit, but toys just one). The kids were getting overwhelmed with so much stuff. The fam wasn't to thrilled with it at fist but went along with it. Once they could see that the kids were HAPPIER and less stressed they all got on board with it. I am the only one that has "provided" grand kids though lol.

 

To be honest I would not like it if I received a birthday card asking for money instead of gifts. I don't think I'd say anything to the hostess but secretly I'd think it was poor etiquette. I can see putting "no gifts please" on the invite, but people are probably going to bring gifts anyway. I think the whole idea is supposed to be that no one is required to bring gifts (even though we all know everyone brings gifts to a birthday party) so if you put specifically that you want money it means you are expecting a gift.

I think I'd just hope for a bunch of gift receipts so you can return the items you don't want! And also, hopefully you'll have close friends and family members ask you what you'd like for a gift and in that circumstance it's fine to say "money for car seats" or whatever. I just wouldn't print it on the invite!

 

I agree with Aimee!! I wouldn't like to see an invite asking for $$.

 

I also agree with Aimee.

 

Right on Aimee!!

I'd tell the close friends or family....(alot of times they will call to see what they need) Just speak up and say that they are in NEED of the carseats, and you are going to purchase them at ....such n such...




Have fun!!

 

I agree with Aimee, also. :birthday: to your little ones.

 

I agree with Aimee, too. Asking for people not to bring gifts would be fine, but it would be difficult to ask for money without offending some people.

 

I agree with Aimee as well on the donations. As for the "no gifts please", I think it is fine, but you also have to realize that buying gifts for babies brings people a lot of joy and just roll with it.

 

I'd have to say I also agree with Aimee. It is a touchy one. You could put "no gifts please" but make sure, say for instance, the grandmas know what to suggest if your relatives ask for suggestions...i.e. "they'd really love gift cards so they could use them toward a much needed purchase"...but asking for donations will most likely offend. Or, don't say anything and take a chance on gift receipts. Exciting that 1 year is coming up! Congrats

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Jun 26 2009, 04:32 AM) [snapback]1369660[/snapback]
To be honest I would not like it if I received a birthday card asking for money instead of gifts. I don't think I'd say anything to the hostess but secretly I'd think it was poor etiquette. I can see putting "no gifts please" on the invite, but people are probably going to bring gifts anyway. I think the whole idea is supposed to be that no one is required to bring gifts (even though we all know everyone brings gifts to a birthday party) so if you put specifically that you want money it means you are expecting a gift.

I think I'd just hope for a bunch of gift receipts so you can return the items you don't want! And also, hopefully you'll have close friends and family members ask you what you'd like for a gift and in that circumstance it's fine to say "money for car seats" or whatever. I just wouldn't print it on the invite!

I agree with Aimee.
Another thought too is sometimes people will ask you what you want for presents for them. I don't think it would be a bad thing to say suggest a gift certificate to XXX Store where you want to get he seats from. I think it is different when people ask but I wouldn't bring it up first.

 

I have to agree with Aimee on this too.

You could re-word 'donations'. If you know where you'll be purchasing the car seats from you could ask for gift cards to that place.

 

thank you all for honest replies. I know it is not polite to ask for donations, that is what I would like but understand there is no other way to ask for them. I HOPE that if guests will bring gifts, they will include gift receipt. I am going to use only "no gifts please" and we will see what happens.
Also I do not have any family here, only my husbands. My mom will be coming to stay with us in few months, and she is giving us money, because I asked her that after she asked me what we need. My husband is not very close with his family, so we will see how it goes.
THANK YOU ALL.

 

I think if you end up writing "no gifts please" that all you may get are cards. Because I would consider money a gift as well. So if I got one of those all I would bring would be a card to the party.

 

I was just wondering.... since the vote is no on the "donations", could you put in "our needs are"? That way people know what you need, but still have the freedom of making their own choice? Just wondering...


Edit for more thought....
Poeple register for births, so would it be any different letting them know what you need? I don't know, just throwing stuff out there....

 

I agree with the fact that many people wouldnt like seeing a request for money in an invite. . but I also wanted to say

I think you should be able to register for birthdays just as you do for baby showers and wedding showers. Any ocassion where someone would typically buy a gift (maybe even Christmas) you should be able to register, just to make it easier on all parties involved. The people attending would know what you want/need, without you having to worry about the 'wording' in an invite. Also, you wouldnt have people calling asking what to get, and then worrying that they might end up getting the same thing. If its on a registry, everyone knows if something has already been purchased, and if there is an expensive item that they wouldnt buy for you, they would know they could give a giftcard to help with that purchase.
Ok, Sorry for getting off topic, but Ive always felt this way since I had kids. The stores need to get with the program!

 

I wouldn't go the donation route but you could put something regarding what their needs are.

Something like:
Since we're getting bigger, we're in need of "bigger" kid items, such as .... I don't know, perhaps that's tacky too.

Most people just asked me, and most people brought clothes, sippies, books and gift cards (I'd told people who asked that we needed those items). Of course, we got toys too...but people just can't help it.

 

I personally wouldn't put anything at all. If you put no gifts, you might end up with nothing. Most people asked me what the girls needed. You could say you really need car seats, so maybe a gift card would be a good idea. I might feel weird about saying that. Some people don't like to give gift cards, because they can't afford to give a lot. I would just leave it alone and see what you end up with. You can always return stuff. Most places will take stuff back without a receipt for a store credit. I returned a bunch of clothes I didn't need and will buy stuff in the fall with the credits.