No clue on what to do

Hi mommies I hope you are all doing well, I posted my update on the regular forum.
As to why I have no clue what to do, As you guys know I have a 5 year old daughter that is in school full time and she lives with me but goes to her sperm donors house 3 out of 4 weekends a month.
Well this last week she was sick and so she missed a whole week of school, due to a cough and a fever that refused to break. But before she got sick her attitude was out of control. With the back talking, her telling me what she was going to do and not do, her rolling her eyes and refusing to listen. She even flat out told me she does what she wants to do and I cant make her listen.
I stacked it up to her not feeling well but its not that, she is increasingly getting worse by the day. I try very hard not to yell at her or spank or smack her face and have not resorted to do so yet. I remember how it made me feel as a kid and I want better for my children. To top it off her Step Mom is a family lawyer, my daughter told me I would not spank her because she will tell Jen (step mom) and I will never have a chance to do it again. I am not sure how or when she learned it was ok to threaten me or know that spanking in most states is illegal because its considered child abuse. I did not respond to this threat because it took me by surprise.
I have tried taking things away that she loves, I have made her clean the yard in the middle of the day (with water breaks of course). I have taken away TV and all electronics. I have tried time out and her writing to me explaining why she was in trouble and how she would not do it again. But now I am out of ideas and the twins are coming in 18 days.
I have special time for her just me and her, she has special time with just her dad. We even try to do family things together just us three so she feels like she is still important to us and we wont forget her.


I am out of ideas and trying not to freak out but if any of you could give me advice I would love to hear it.

 

find a good counselor - perhaps speak to the school psychologist - she obviously is looking for help with her emotions...

 

ill call the school tom...thanks