I'm always torn between picking my battles and holding the line and staying consistent. My DS often announces NO BIB as he climbs into his booster seat for a meal. Should I INSIST on a bib and say no bib, no food, or should I just settle for him coming to the table to eat, a chore for sure some days. My DD says Mommy I need a bib before each meal...completely different and very compliant all in all. Other question, is every single meal at the end of the meal he throws his placemat on the floor. I'm not thrilled about it because there go the crumbs as well but it is hard to intercept some times. He doesn't throw his plate on the floor. I usually try to clear things away before he has the opportunity, but he is quick. My DD does not usually throw things on the floor unless she gets into following her DS. Appreciate your advice! Thanks. Sotto
I haven't used bibs for a while now. That is unless we are having something with a red sauce, or chocolate cake. He's probably noticing that you don't wear a bib, and he wants to be big too. With the placemat, maybe try talking to him while he's still eating about helping you clean up the crumbs before he can put his placemat away. It might distract him from throwing it on the floor. I'm so glad we don't use them here.
I, too, have not used bibs for awhile....probably since they were about 15 months old or so. I would say he is asserting his independence (in a way), wanting to be "big". If it were me, I would let him go bib free. Choose your battles, you know? That is just one that I personally wouldn't fight. As far as throwing plates, in your case the placemat, we don't have much of an issue of it anymore, but we certainly did go through a time where it drove DH & I crazy!! At first, we started by telling them no throw and if they kept doing it then mealtime was over. Now that they are 2, like I said, they rarely do it anymore, but if they throw they get into trouble. I know that they understand me now when I say "NO...don't do X". First offense, now is a warning with a squeeze of the hand. Second offense is a TO.
I wouldn't fight the bib issue. My kids are still wearing bibs at almost age 4, because DH insists on it, but I wish we could quit -- it's just a pain, and they don't make much of a mess anymore (except on their faces, which the bib doesn't cover!). They stopped wearing bibs at daycare at 13 months. They had horribly stained clothes for about a year, but since then it's been OK. However, the placemat-throwing I would impose a consequence for. It's tough to know what to do, since he does it at the end of the meal (so you can't take the food away), but he is old enough to know that that's not OK. If he is attached to his placemat, you could say no placemat at the next meal. (If he hates it, you could do a post-meal time-out or something.)
We stopped doing bibs about that time unless it was something that would stain. Then they had the option of eating with a bib or no clothes on. Rather than fight the battle, I gave them a choice that had the same end for me: no stained laundry to deal with! We didn't use placemats, still don't, but if you must could you get the stick on ones (made for restaurants I think)? Then he wouldn't be able to throw it and that may break the cycle.
I think I was still using bibs with the twins at the age yours are, but none of mine minded. Somewhere around 2 1/2 I started only using them for really messy foods (soup/tomato pasta etc). Given your son really doesn't like them I would only make him wear one if they're eating something that will make a lot of mess or stain. Or you could do what Meredith suggested and give him the choice of bib or no clothes. For the placemat I like the pp's ideas of getting him involved in cleaning the crumbs or just not letting him have a placemat or a while.
For us, I didn't push the issue because I knew that fighting over a bib wasn't worth getting them upset before mealtime. I would rather them eat without a bib, then cry because they had one on and not eat. My girls haven't worn a bib in a very long time because they just hated them.
Appreciate everyone's suggestions. I am going to talk to my DH -- he's much more into keeping clean than I, and assuming we can have a united front on this one, I'm going to go ahead and make it optional. My DD seems to want hers, and it should be okay for her to have it. My DS, maybe he'll be going bib free. Have to tackle the placemat issue tho. I might try going without one as PP said. Thanks everyone! Sotto