Newborn sleep questions

I have two boys who will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. The first couple of weeks were up and down as I figured they would be. Some nights were better than others, but overall they slept pretty well - just waking to eat and going back to sleep.

We have an arm's reach co-sleeper, so at night I keep them in there or one of them next to me in bed if we fall asleep nursing. The problem I've been having, and it's seems to be getting progressively worse is that when I get them to sleep and lay them down it seems like at least one of them will half wake up, start moving around grunting and snorting, and eventually it turns into an all out cry. SO, I pick him up, soothe him back to sleep and no sooner am I done with that, then the other one wakes up grunting and snorting the same way until he's crying and completely awake. So, I soothe him back to sleep and his brother is awake. THe last several nights it seems like I've been awake almost all night repeating this pattern. I can't figure it out because during the day I lay them down to sleep in the bassinet or crib for naps and they sleep just fine. Any suggestions?

Another weird thing I've noticed about both of the boys (which is different from my other boys) is that they seem to HATE being swaddled. They tolerated it alright right at first, but now they fuss, grunt and cry, and then they struggle like crazy after they've been swaddled to get their arms out and flail back and forth.

 

Are you open to letting them sleep in their cradle/bassinet/crib at night? Since they do so well during the day perhaps that is where they are most comfortable...I had to put mine in their own rooms because of what you describe. Also at that age put them WHEREVER they will sleep best: swing, bouncy seat, carseat, etc etc. I used a combination of all these the first couple months. Mine didnt sleep in their cribs until about 2-3 months old. I swaddled for a short time, but they soon started fighting it so bad. I had luck sometimes with swaddling and then putting them in the swing. Sorry to ramble, just throwing out ideas!

I formula fed, so I know it's a little different because you are nursing. But maybe you could all get more sleep if you switched it up a bit Good luck momma!

 

I have tried to put them in their bassinet at night and they still sleep very restlessly... and right now they're both sleeping very soundly in the co-sleeper in my room during the day. If I could just get them to sleep this soundly at night!

 

That would have been my suggestion too... trying their cribs, swings, bouncers, etc. We went right to cribs (within days). I BF every 3hrs, and if one woke up, I woke the other one so they were eating and sleeping at the same time. It may seem more difficult at first, as there is nothing like nursing in bed & falling right to sleep... but in time you will be able to strech out the feeding increments and they will be sleeping better, and so will you. At least for the time being you will get a couple hrs of rest in between. Good luck and Congrats!!

 

I think it may just take some time for them to adjust to daytime and nighttime. During the day, keep the lights on and make household noises-tv, vacuum, etc. At night, it should be dark and quiet. They will eventually get unmixed up and sleep better at night and be more awake during the day.

Also, have you tried sleepsacks, since they like their arms free?

 

I guess it may take a while. I just hope it happens soon, because when my two older boys get back soon I don't know how I'll function being awake all night and not being able to nap during the day.

These boys sleep SO soundly anywhere during the day... no matter the noise or light or if you move them around. It doesn't matter what you do. When they are napping during the day, it's next to impossible to wake them up. At night though, I can't seem to get them to sleep for more than 15 minutes without waking up. I just go back and forth between each of them all night long trying to get them back to sleep.

 

Swaddling saved my sanity!!! My twins did not like it at first but now they sleep sooooo much better.....their arm and leg movements do not wake them up!!! It will also take some time for them to determine the difference between night and day....make it VERY obvious to them....bright and noisy during the day and dark and quiet at night! They are now 8 weeks and they are sleeping about 6 hours at night (still swaddled)....they really caught on to the night/day concept about 2days before they were 6 weeks

 

I agree with Kirsty SWADDLE! mine are 5 weeks we bought those swaddle me wraps, best money spent so far!! When one dirties one in the middle of the night there is such a difference! We try to swaddle them with blankets but they escape, these swaddle me wraps are like little strait jackets, lol!! You don't realize those little jerks wake them up! And ditto on the difference between day and night. Mine also didn't like it first but a couple minutes of trying to escape and out like lights! During night feedings we turn on the bathroom light so it dimly lights the bedroom. Oh and if you don't have one a white noise machine, ours has a cricket setting my husband swears helps him sleep too! Good luck!

 

I have the swaddle me wraps... but they cry and squirm and flail around when I put them in wraps. Maybe I just need to keep trying? I don't know.
I currently feel so sleep deprived that I can't think straight. I'm starting to have some serious anxiety about how I'm going to handle my kids once my two older ones are home next week. I have no idea how I"ll keep up with my 2 year old on no sleep and not being able to nap during the day.
What I really can't figure out is how these two babies can be awake for SO long at night! Between the two of them, most nights I'm not getting any sleep at all.

 

Sounds to me like they're a bit mixed up between day and night. What I would try is making sure that you're "up" during the day; bright lights, louder noise etc. And then quiet, dark and white noise at night. While you obviously can't sleep train this early, establishing a day and night routine might help them get in sync with the rest of the family. I do think it's common for babies to prefer night feedings.

Maybe also set up a PnP or the bassinet in your room so you can separate them? Maybe the moving around is waking them up and for now they need to be separated. Or try one in the swing, or the bouncer or whatever!

Hang in there.. hopefully they get their times sorted out before everyone comes home next week!

 

Do you use pacifiers? My little boy fights the swaddle but as soon as I give him a paci he relaxes

 

Let me just say that I was EXACTALY where you are right now...I had a 2 yo (3 now) that is high energy and I couldnt nap during the day. And was up ALL NIGHT LONG. My DH works nights. I have never been so tired, I thought I was going crazy...really. I cried, felt horrible, was so anxious and downright would get scared when the night would come because I knew that yet again I would get ZERO sleep. I am here to tell you that it DOES get better. You have to work at it, but it will. Do you have swings for them? If not...get them Swaddling didnt work ong for us, but I know that some have alot of luck with them.

In the mean time...Fill them up as much as you can during the day. We are talking every 1 1/2 to 2 hr feeds.
-Keep the house bright and loud during the day
-wake them up when your 2 year old wakes up (I know it can be hard to wake a sleeping baby, but try...get them naked and put them in frot of a fan!
-get AS MUCH HELP as you possibly can with your 2 year old...morning out program? grandma? friends? Have them take him/her and try to sleep
-if you can have someone keep the twins overnight once a week or every 2 weeks it goes a LONG WAY let me tell you. I did this and I looked SO forward to my 1 night of sleep!! I felt like a new woman! I formula fed so feeding was not as issue so I know it may be a little more complicated nursing. But maybe you could pump and send some breastmilk. If you can make it work at all this was a biggie for me.
- the BIGGEST thing that helped me was letting them sleep on their tummies!! THey went from being up ALL NIGHT to getting a 7 hour stretch the FIRST night I rolled them to their tummies! HEAVEN! I was a little nervous at first but I quickly got over that!! hahahaha I would say I did this at a little shy of 2 months

 

Oh I remember this happening too!! I don't think I slept well until I started putting them in their cribs at night and in their own room. At three weeks is also when we noticed a few things that turned out to be reflux in Allison along eith an allergey to my breast milk. By six weeks I had to stop nursing and go to bottles with her (I started with Gavin then too although je was ok) Also, do they sleep in the same bed. My two would snuggle up but then when one would start squirming it would wake the other. I seperated them and it helped. With my twins, I don't think o got a lot of rest until about 3 months but then things started getting a little better and by 5 months try were sttn (well 11-5).

 

Oh and sleeping on tummy was a HUGE help for Gavin. Allison slept better with a soft blanket by her face. I hated to do either one of those things but to this day (almost 11mths) they both still sleep like that. If I try gav on his back he flips right over and Allison will not sleep unless she has her blanket now over her face.