Newborn questions...

My girls were a month old yesterday, and all of the sudden decided to "wake up". I think I have been getting a bit cocky, and thinking I had everything under control. Today it is clear that the only thing I can control is how I handle all this crying. That is why I need your help!

1. Am I putting them to bed too late? We usually put them in their crib swaddled in their miracle blankets at 10:30 or so. I noticed so many have very early bedtimes. Does it really matter at 4 weeks?


2. Did anyone elses babies just decide to take turns screaming right at 4 weeks? (I am happy that they seem to take turns at least, don't get me wrong!) I keep going from swings to bouncy chairs to sling, etc. Nobody is happy, including me! :cray:

3. I have noticed Cassidy is spitting up very large amounts at times. Could she be developing intolerance to her formula?

I am not even sure what I want to ask, but if you have any ideas that can make my life with these 4 week old cry babies easier, please share! Thank you for reading, Lisa

 

Hang in there. Everything you're describing sounds pretty typical. I think at 4 weeks bedtime doesn't really matter that much, but 10:30 is pretty late. I would consider creating a dimly lit soothing environment for them right as it gets dark outside. After doing a brief bedtime routine, put them to sleep. You'll be creating good habits and may also have a little more free time for yourself in the evening.

As far as the crying, I think all babies get a little colicky around 4-6 weeks, usually most pronounced in the evenings. Do whatever you need to do to settle them down. Just make sure they're getting enough sleep during the day so that they're not overtired.

As for the spitting up, it depends on whether they seem bothered by the spitting up or not. I'd talk to your pedi about it. I bf and both my babies had reflux and were on meds.

Good luck!

 

I don't think bedtime really matters at this age. Our boys are almost 5 months, and they go to bed at about 10:00 and have since the beginning. (They were sleeping through the night at 7 weeks, but have started waking up at night some now.) I think you may be right about the intolerance to the formula, especially if Cassidy is spitting up large amounts of formula. Her tummy probably hurts. I'd say that a call to the pediatrician is in order. They may want to change their formula. Also, try keeping them up longer during the day. Let them sleep for about 2 hours, then get them up and play or read to them. That way, when bedtime comes, they will be tired and sleep better. Good Luck! I know it seems horrible, but this stage will pass. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. ha ha

 

1. I put my 4 week olds to bed whenever they were tired, usually around 10:30 - 11 pm.

2. They didn't take turns. They either duetted, or Sean screamed. Have you tried rolling them in the stroller or rocking them in their car seats?

3. Could be reflux or she might be a "happy spitter". Does she seem uncomfortable when she eats or does she just projectile vomit a whole bottle out and seem perfectly fine with it?

 

I remember when my girls 'woke up.' We didn't have a bedtime for them until around 3 or 4 months old. The girls followed play-eat-sleep around the clock and at 1 month were eating every 3 hours. "Play" for a one month old was sitting propped on my legs looking at me, or propped on blankets looking at me, or laying on the bed looking at me (you get the idea).

My girls were dx'ed with reflux at a little over 2 weeks old and did take turns crying and screaming (and Ana puking out of her nose and mouth). We started Zantac at 3 weeks and things improved a little bit. We also used mylicon drops for gas in their bottles. For the uber fussy times (late afternoon/early evening) I tried to have another person with me so we could both hold and sooth a baby. If that wasn't possible, I turned on some music and danced and sung to them (stunned silence usually followed- "Oh no! Momma lost her mind!"). At 1 month they were still too tiny for the Bjorn, but once they got big enough (says 8lbs, but I think I started using it around 6) I would put the fussy one in the bjorn (usually M) and play with the less fussy one.

Its definitely a juggling act and every person has to find a rhythm to taking care of two needy infants. Also each kid is different (and different on different days), so don't feel bad if you feel like one baby is more needy than the other and needs more of you.. it will even out in the end. GL, hang in there, ask for help, and come here often. :hug99:

 

We put the boys down at 10:30-11:00, woke up at 2:00 for a feeding (sometimes I couldn't get them back to sleep) and woke up at 6:00 for another.

They totally tagged teamed and it drove me nuts. You'd get one calmed down, think you could go to bed and the other would start.
For the tag teaming I just got through it. It seems to me it lasted a week or two.

I sometimes put Enya music on really loud, held both of them to my chest, rocked them AND (this will sound weird) patted their diapers fairly hard at the same time to a rythm. That usually calmed them down pretty quick.

Also, sometimes my husband swaddled them together and that would knock them out pretty quick. You should see the pictures of how tightly he swaddled them so they literally couldn't move a muscle!

My little Robert spit up all the time! But, it didn't bother him and he was gaining weight so...

I want to echo another poster's thought that everyone develops a rythm at some point in time. 4 weeks isn't very long to develop that.

 

This is right about where things BEGIN to get hairy...

Notice the word BEGIN.....

The Hairy or Scary part for us lasted from 4 weeks ACTUAL to 14 weeks adjusted or 19 Actual.. Yes, you heard me correctly.. that's a total of FIFTEEN weeks. It was pretty horrible.

Ten thirty is MUCH too late of a bedtime for a baby, if you ask me.. It is probably true that it doesn't "matter'' to THEM right now since they are soo young BUT it is good to get some sort of early bedtime routine going for YOU...

The Witching Hour(S) began here at 3:30 sharp and lasted until 6:00 when i threw them in their cribs out of sheer desperation. It happened EVERY single nite w/o fail.

There was no settling them down or keeping them HAPPY.. It was just SURVIVAL.


I know what you mean about getting "cocky". This is the tough part you're encountering right now and it will even out later on.

Work on the earlier bedtime routine so that the screaming can come to an end earlier in the evening.

Good luck!! And NO on the intolerance to formula- it's just fussiness.

 

So sorry your going thru this, this was the hardest to go thru.
for about two months our son would just screem and screem. its heart breaking
i would just shut off the lights and swaddle him tight and sway and shusssss him
some days it worked other days not so much.
and his nights would start off in the crib, than into the carseat in the crib for a while and than into the swing for the rest of the night.
not sure why but if we did that he would sleep.
good luck to you, the first 7 months were hard. my husband was working third shift so he was sleeping during the day and working at night so it was very hard for me.
i did have help but the nights can be very long. many night i would have a screeming baby and on the phone crying to my husband.
i was always thankful that my daughter was sleeping.
Its hard to think about in the thick of it but this time does go by fast and although i am happy to be sleeping thru the night, i do miss those tiny screeming babies.
Good Luck

 

Hang in there! That age is really tough.

I think 10:30 is quite late. Often if I kept my babies up too late they'd become over tired and sleep was very hard for them.

They definately went through stages at different times. Go to sleep easily for a while then not so good for a while. Hang in there, it's a stage.

 

1. At that age they sleep most of the time, so I dont think you can establish a bed time, unless you want to make a set time you put them in bed as opposed to the swing or bouncy. I would put them in bed at 8Pm and then feed them at 10:30 or llpm and back in bed through out the night.

2. This was the absolute worse time for my babies-this is when colic began...hopefully not the case for yours.

3. Could very well be reflux.

Hang in there it gets better soon, I promise!

 

Thank you, thank you for the detailed responses. We will begin to establish an earlier routine, and I plan to try the gas drops in their bottles for starters. I guess if that doesn't help we'll check on the reflux possibility or a change in formula. (Poor Cassidy does have spit up flying out both nose nad mouth these last few days and seems very bothered by it.) Lisa

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ May 7 2008, 08:59 AM) [snapback]760321[/snapback]
My girls were a month old yesterday, and all of the sudden decided to "wake up". I think I have been getting a bit cocky, and thinking I had everything under control. Today it is clear that the only thing I can control is how I handle all this crying. That is why I need your help!

1. Am I putting them to bed too late? We usually put them in their crib swaddled in their miracle blankets at 10:30 or so. I noticed so many have very early bedtimes. Does it really matter at 4 weeks? At 4 weeks? No, I don't think so. We didn't put then into their cribs at 4 weeks until we went to bed. We really didn't start a routine until they were 4 months.
2. Did anyone elses babies just decide to take turns screaming right at 4 weeks? (I am happy that they seem to take turns at least, don't get me wrong!) I keep going from swings to bouncy chairs to sling, etc. Nobody is happy, including me! :cray: Um, yes, very normal, unfortunetly.

3. I have noticed Cassidy is spitting up very large amounts at times. Could she be developing intolerance to her formula? Jack did this as well and we switched him from Enfamil Lipel to Isomil Advance soy formula and now he hardly ever spits up. I would consult with your pedi

I am not even sure what I want to ask, but if you have any ideas that can make my life with these 4 week old cry babies easier, please share! Thank you for reading, Lisa
hmmm, it's not easy that is for sure! One thing that made my life SO much easier when I fed them myself was that I had two boppys that I put them each in and fed them. Also, try to sleep as much when they sleep as you can, sleep deprivation is so hard on your body and mind! Good luck!!

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ May 7 2008, 08:59 AM) [snapback]760321[/snapback]
My girls were a month old yesterday, and all of the sudden decided to "wake up". I think I have been getting a bit cocky, and thinking I had everything under control. Today it is clear that the only thing I can control is how I handle all this crying. That is why I need your help!

1. Am I putting them to bed too late? We usually put them in their crib swaddled in their miracle blankets at 10:30 or so. I noticed so many have very early bedtimes. Does it really matter at 4 weeks?
2. Did anyone elses babies just decide to take turns screaming right at 4 weeks? (I am happy that they seem to take turns at least, don't get me wrong!) I keep going from swings to bouncy chairs to sling, etc. Nobody is happy, including me! :cray:

3. I have noticed Cassidy is spitting up very large amounts at times. Could she be developing intolerance to her formula?

I am not even sure what I want to ask, but if you have any ideas that can make my life with these 4 week old cry babies easier, please share! Thank you for reading, Lisa



mine are only two weeks older but here is what I have experienced.

At a month they were suddenly more alert and awake... it was like to the day things changed. They drank more and they were more interactive but the routine remained the same, everything is on their schedule of needs and wants. I just go with their flow. I tell them often enjoy having a servant while it last... cause it won't last forever. The routine pretty much is they wake up, I change their diapers, I feed them, burp them... if they are awake and alert after they get done eating we do tummy time, I read to them, or they get in the swing or bouncy for a bit. We are still on the 3 hour feeding schedule but go 4 hours during the night sometimes. (mine were low birth weights 5lbs 10 oz and 4 lbs 13oz now nearly 9lbs and 7 lbs) when they start passing out I put them down and go to sleep. They sometimes scream tandem for feedings... sometimes I can feed them separate. They never cry for no reason thus far it is always the basics, hungry, dirty diaper, need to burp, or just wants attention (that is new). As for spit up... most likely she is in taking more than her little belly can handle. my FIL learn that with arden. She eats top 5 oz and he fed her 8oz and the extra 3 oz was all over his shirt 5 minutes later. I warned him... that could be the case or she could have reflux. Not really sure.

ok gotta cut this short... even though I started writing this around 9:30 and it is 12:42 yep over 3 hours to push send... off to dr. Ramsey is sick

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ May 7 2008, 01:59 PM) [snapback]760321[/snapback]
1. Am I putting them to bed too late? We usually put them in their crib swaddled in their miracle blankets at 10:30 or so. I noticed so many have very early bedtimes. Does it really matter at 4 weeks? At 4 weeks I dont think it matters. We were right about there too maybe even 11pm. At our 2 month check up our Ped said start getting them to bed after the 8 PM or so feeding and then they will eventually drop the 11pm feed on their own. It seemed like it took forever but they did and at least we could either eat dinner or go to bed earlier if needed.

2. Did anyone elses babies just decide to take turns screaming right at 4 weeks? (I am happy that they seem to take turns at least, don't get me wrong!) I keep going from swings to bouncy chairs to sling, etc. Nobody is happy, including me! :cray: YES! It will go away. Ours started around 6 weeks and it drove me to tears on a daily basis. Do whatever you can and let them sleep wherever they are happy-bouncies, swings, slings etc. You can worry about getting them into a crib later.

3. I have noticed Cassidy is spitting up very large amounts at times. Could she be developing intolerance to her formula? Either that or reflux. Keep an eye on her and if it continues and she develops pain while eating (arching and screaming), or refusing to take a bottle, grunting, etc.. these are all signs of reflux and you might wanna call the Ped.

I am not even sure what I want to ask, but if you have any ideas that can make my life with these 4 week old cry babies easier, please share! Thank you for reading, Lisa


:hug99: This is a very hard time. Hang in there. Dont be afraid to try and line up some help.

 

I felt 4 weeks was a difficult time, too! Mine also did the tag team crying thing - they still do sometimes. It's like they are communicating somehow.
I still don't have a definite schedule, but following a general 1 1/2 hours of wake time, I try to settle them for sleep (swaddle, jiggling, etc.) and this seems to help them nap and go to bed at night. Just wanted to let you know we've been there and things started getting better around 2 months, or so....
]You've gotten lots of great advice, here.
Let us know how things go.

Erin

 

Mine are 7 weeks. They do not have a "bed time" I have to feed them every 3 hours so their "naps" depends on their feeding schedule.

Mine take turns screaming all the time! Also now one will start crying and end making the OTHER one start crying. So fun. It's really great when they are both going at once!

My Maya spits up a lot. The ped said it looks like a lot more than it is and to keep her upright for 20 min after feeding - and it helps! I just put her in the swing and it really has been helping.


4 weeks is rough. I think there is a growth spurt there. But, then again I've had a rough week and half now (another growth spurt??). Hang in there!

 

QUOTE(5girlies @ May 7 2008, 01:59 PM) [snapback]760321[/snapback]
My girls were a month old yesterday, and all of the sudden decided to "wake up". I think I have been getting a bit cocky, and thinking I had everything under control. Today it is clear that the only thing I can control is how I handle all this crying. That is why I need your help!

1. Am I putting them to bed too late? We usually put them in their crib swaddled in their miracle blankets at 10:30 or so. I noticed so many have very early bedtimes. Does it really matter at 4 weeks?
2. Did anyone elses babies just decide to take turns screaming right at 4 weeks? (I am happy that they seem to take turns at least, don't get me wrong!) I keep going from swings to bouncy chairs to sling, etc. Nobody is happy, including me! :cray:

3. I have noticed Cassidy is spitting up very large amounts at times. Could she be developing intolerance to her formula?

I am not even sure what I want to ask, but if you have any ideas that can make my life with these 4 week old cry babies easier, please share! Thank you for reading, Lisa


Our girls are now 10 months but when they were that age I used to do these things.

1. We had a late bed time too and gradually moved it up to 7pm but realized that that was just too early because they still take 2 other BIG naps during the day. At that age ours stayed up for about 2 hours in between naps. They were very observant babies. So every child is in bed at 8:30 pm. This works well because if they get up they have a good dream feed and they are right back to sleep. just don't make a whole lot of noise that makes them curious, they will stay awake or wake up completely and then you have to wait about an hour or let them bry a little.

2. I never let mine scream! I hate screaming babies and I would usually know immediately what it was that they wanted. This usually ended up being that they wanted to be in their swings. A&A lived in their swings from 1 month to 5 months. I very seldom had them in their beds until they started sitting up. so we switched from bouncey seats to swings, and then to beds. I have never gotten tag teamed like you are describing tho. Not that I can remember, but I always had one fed, changed, and pacied up before the other started to fuss. I rarely let anyone else do anything with them because they were so attached to me. I prefer to do for them anyway, because others didn't know how to handle the things that I did.

3. I went through a little of the bottle being spewed on me for about 1 month. I found that (instead of laying her flat on her back), letting her sleep semi-sitting up that she vomitted less to almost none at all. Like I said, they slept in their bouncey seats, swings or sitting up with me until they were about 5 months old. I don't believe in acid reflux as a diagnosis so if she keeps throwing it up I would say try switching formula to a lactos free kind. She may be alergic to the formula. Too many doctors are calling every thing that a parent complains about a different disease and I just won't let that fly with my kids.

Definitely talk to your pediatrician tho and if you trust their judgement then you will know what to do.

I hope you find what you are looking for!
Lots of love!
Meshell

 

I remember my nurse said to circle their due date on the calender and that is when they will "wake up". It sure happened that way. The next 6 weeks from their due date is the hardest times and then they fuss less. My one twin needed to be put in a more quiet area, less noise, holding her, etc and taught her when to sleep. She seemed the most fussy at 11 am and 2 pm so I would watch the clock and made sure I was sitting on the couch with her at that time putting her to sleep. Often watching Oprah. Just do what you can to get through all this time.

my one girl also liked being on her tummy on my knees with a bottom spanked or on her tummy on my husbands arm. I've heard of twins in their swings at night for the first 3 months. I so wanted routine but it is hard during this time. Just work on sleep cues like drapes closed during sleep, or some like bath then bed (not mine), baby massage with lotion, swaddle of course.

It is such a hard time because anything sets them off ... heck they pee their pants and don't know what is happening !!!!!! We made it through and so can you !

 

enjoy it!!!!!!!!! you are going to blink and they will be 5...... nothings a big deal, that's what i always say!

 

We put them to bed earlier last night, about 8:15. They took a bit longer to settle, but slept for a longer stretch. I am not sure if it is a fluke! We also started with the mylecon in their bottles, so we'll see if that makes a difference.

Thanks all!

 

Mine ate/cried/slept from 6 weeks adjusted to 4 months actual. It was so hard! Our witching hours were from 6pm to 8 pm when they would finally fall asleep from exhaustion. They would then wake around 10 for a feeding and then again at 2 and 5. I found if I got them to sleep before 6 my night would be easier. To get them to sleep I would put them in their car seats, hold pacis in their mouths and rock them in the seats. I got some good arm and back muscles! I did this for at least 2 months (DH was deployed so noone to help rock them to sleep). Try every trick you can think of and don't worry about how silly you look!

 

Oh no, when that "wake up" happened for us it was awful! It was constant screaming, like they were dying screaming! We also had my dd projectile spitting up and spitting up a lot around that time. I immediately thought reflux, but our ped was not worried since she was still gaining weight. To this day after she eats she must remain upright, on our shoulder or propped in her bouncy chair for at least 15 minutes or she will lose some of her formula. Turns out it probably wasn't reflux. Back to the screaming, a hair dyer held above their head makes ours stop the screaming asap, BUT as soon as we turn off the hair dyer the screaming starts again. That is why we were told it wasn't colic, because we could get them to stop. Apparently babies with true colic won't stop for anything. What you are going through is exactly what happened to us, the good news....around 2.5 months actual age things settled down. Now they will stay awake and smile for a long time with minimal screaming

My dh is a super tight swaddler and it works at bedtime!

We use the drops, we used to put them in the bottle but now for dd they go right in her mouth.

Hang in there.
Oh, how I feel for you.

 

:hug99: From about 4 - 12 weeks was the hardest period for us. Looking back it is such a blur. I'm not even sure how we managed, we just did. What worked one day wouldn't work the next :wacko:!

A few things that did seem to help us (usually):

- Miracle Blankets - these were the only way we could get a tight swaddle and a good, tight swaddle was our friend !
- Holding them on their side or stomach - they really seemed to like the pressure on their tummies.
- Comfort Nursing (f you aren't BF try pacis for the soothing, sucking reflex?)
- Walking around the room and rocking (for some reason they didn't like when we sat down and rocked them )

:hug99: I wanted to SCREAM every time someone told me "it will get better," but it will! Hang in there and keep repeating, "This too shall pass, it is only temporary!"

 

3. I would put a call into your ped. At 8 weeks my daughter started spitting up excessively, I am talking out the mouth and nose excessive. Turns out I was overfeeding her. We cut back on the amount she ate at each feeding slightly and it stopped.

 

Hi Lisa,

Oh how your post made me laugh - with you..... I too have been feeling a little 'cocky' - sleep deprived - but feeling very confident - the girls are going fabulous.... feeding / sleeping / just cruising..... but now I will be on the lookout for the 'wake up'... they have just turned 3 weeks as of yesterday - so I think I might just enjoy this last week before they wake up.....

Will be sure to be back on here - panicking and asking all sort of questions when my world comes 'crashing' down....

I have been bathing the girls around 6:30 - 7pm - then giving them a feed and they are normally settled by 8 pm - the last 4 days they have slept for about 4-5 hours after this - then another feed and another 4 hour stretch.... not sure if the early bath and settling has helped give us a longer stretch - but at least it is allowing me a half decent sleep.... (if the 2 year old doesn't decide to wake up and demand mummy in his room - thank god the 5 year old sleeps through everything).....

Take care and chat soon.....

PS: remember how much we complained over on expecting forum - just wanting our pregnancies to be over with - hmmmmmmm..... maybe just 1 night of being pregnant would be nice - just to get some sleep...

Nicky

 

ACKKK ~ 4 weeks is tough ~
We did start a routine (more for us than them) at 4 weeks & it worked out beautifully for us
around 6 -7 we would do their 'dinner' bottle & then put them in their crib (swaddled).
We still do their dinner bottle at that time, the girls are in their cribs by 8Pm at the latest & my girls are almost 4.5 months now. (and they sleep through the night!)
I think that starting at 4 weeks is a great time as you dont want to 'paint yourself into a corner' & get them used to putting them to bed late.

Mine totally did the tag team crying (and sometimes still do) - so irritating!!

Sydney did spit up (more like throw up) at that age too. It would look like her whole bottle coming out her mouth/nose, projectile style. Ick. We put her on reflux meds for a couple months & it went away

good luck!! Oh, and as everyone says, it gets BETTER!!!!!