Newbie with 5 month old girls

HI, i have 5 month old twin girls, this is my first time finding this board. I have been very sick, had a rare cardiomyopathy after the twins, so haven't sought out much advice. I am slowly feeling better. MY question is about going out with twins. I have only been out with the twins twice on my own, it tires me out so much(with my bad heart) but I would like to go out more now that they are getting older. My question is if you have two that want to be held a lot and cry in new places how do you manage going shopping. I cannot physcially hold them both. When does it get easier going out with them. I am so isolated right now.

 

Congratulations on your girls! And sorry about your health issues!

Do you have a stroller where they can both face you? That helped some. I also would pack a sling in my bag. I could manage, if they both started really needing to be held, to put one in the sling and hold the other in my arms. Of course that didn't work for an entire shopping trip, but I could usually settle them down decently that way. Are there any neighbor middle-school aged girls who'd like to go with you as a mama's helper? Maybe you could pay them a little to be an extra set of hands. My oldest was 7 when I had my twins and even she was a great help to snuggle one of them if they both needed some soothing at the same time. Or if you have a friend who has even an older toddler who'd be fine in a stroller, maybe she could hold a baby for a bit if they both get upset at the same time. Having an extra set of hands is a huge help.

It also helps to plan around naps and eating. You've probably done that to some extent when you did go out, but maybe watch for a few days to see what their best (happiest) time of the day is. Still not easy at 5 months, because they're probably eating often and napping a couple of times. But if you can manage to find a spot where they've just napped and eaten, you can get a good hour or two of an outing while they're more content.

I know it's frustrating to not be able to get out of the house. One of my girlies is legally blind and VERY sensitive to light. She would come unhinged whenever we went in somewhere really bright like Walmart or the grocery store. I didn't know then what her problems were and it was so stressful. I finally figured out that she liked certain stores more (as it turns out I realize now that they're dimmer, but I didn't realize that was the issue at the time), so those were the ones I stuck to. If your girls like familiar places, could you go out a few times with your SO, mom, someone else who's willing to give you a hand so they would be more comfortable/familiar until you feel better about doing it on your own?

 

I would suggest a sling as well.

Start very small- during 1 nap get everything but them ready and in the car. Then after they wake and eat (& yes, pick a 'happier' time) go someplace close to home. If you goal is very small- like 10 or 15 minutes, you should be able to get home before the mass freakouts.

How about a short walk in the stroller everyday, just around the neighborhood? Mine didn't always like the fresh air, but I just kept going the same distance each day until they got used to it (not very far).

We also had little toys on their carseats which they we could pull down and they'd jiggle.

Do they like music? If so, an iPod loaded with favorites can help calm them down if they are really going at it.

 

First off welcome and I am glad you are starting to feel better. I was so blessed to have a great delievery and bounced back pretty fast (but had 11 days to "rest" before mine came home from the NICU). Going out alone can be stressful but it can be done. I started going out alone when my twins were about 4 months old. My oldest had gone back to school and I was sort of "done" being alone all day. We started with small walks, then we would go to the krogers that is 2 miles down the road. Now that they are 13 months old we rip and run all over the place. I agree with PP that you should pack their bags and the car/van while they are napping. Then after they eat, change diapers and load um up and move um out. Start with some place calm and not to crowded. A park (not really a playground) just a park where you could throw down a blanket and lay them down with some toys and you could read a book while they take in some fresh air. Try the library. School starts back here in about a month so thats when our library will mellow out and it could be a quiet place where they won't be overwhelmed. Try going to an outdoor shopping center/stripmall type place. That way you can visit the stores you wish to and if they start to melt down you are outside and there will be benches to sit down if you get to tired or winded or if you just need to sit and hold them for a moment.

Can you not hold them both at the same time and walk due to their weight being to heavy for you or it wears you our holding them in your arms? Could you carry them both at the same time if you had a carrier? At 5 months I was still carrying mine around in the moby doubled up. There is an online video showing you how to wear both babies at once. LOVE LOVE LOVE my moby. I can if I had to carry my 9 year old in it LOL its awesome! If you don't have one of those I would HIGHLY recomend investing in one. You will get your moneys worth.

So thats my advice for what its worth. Small sort non stressful trips to start and before long you will be hitting the store, dry cleaners, target, the library and the mall in one afternoon and your family and friends will exclaim "HOW DO YOU DO IT" and you can smile and say oh its no big deal

 

I am sorry you had health issues post delivery. Being at home with infant twins can be isolating, and the first few times getting out are difficult. There's only so much you can do about the crying. I usually tried to get one fed and calmed down first while I gave the other a toy, or when they're older they had puffs or baby mum-mums. It does get easier as they get older and they're more interested in the world around them.

I'd try getting out to a park where you can lay them on a blanket or finding a multiples group where there are extra hands to help out. We spent a lot of time at malls here which I found was very useful; lots of comfy places to sit, enough noise that people don't notice the crying as much, and if you forget anything chances are you can get a replacement there .

Given your health issues, I would also ask around at your church or community center or even your insurance to see if there's some kind of help you can get. You want to make sure you're a well rested, healthy mama!

 

HI, thanks for the replies. I do have help, my twins go next door to my mother in laws for about 5 hours a day. My hubby works 12 hour days and I have to rest, my heart is very weak and things exhaust me easily. They are very big, they weighed 6 15/ and 8 4 at birth. They are now almost 20 pounds each at 5 months....I live in GA and its very hot here, 100 degrees most days so not good going outside weather. I cannot physically hold them, they are too heavy and it tires me out so much.I do wear one when I go in the store and the other sits in the seat in the buggy, but I dont go for long. THey are very very good babies, rarely crying, they sleep all night( 12 hours) and they are just sweetie pies. I just get so bored in the house and want to take them places sometimes.

 

oh sweetie that sounds rough. You can only do what you can do. I understand bored, I did ALOT of bedrest with my twins but you have to take care of you.

 

Do you think on an odd day, say MWF, you MIL would watch one of them for an extra hour? That way you could take 1 baby out, for 1 hour maximum, and then bring everybody home for a nap? One is a lot easier physically, I think. It would allow you to bond with them individual (as well as her) and it would get you out. Maybe one of those 3 days you could go out with her and the both babies- so you'd have an extra set of hands. It seems like she is willing to help out, which is nice.

 

Sorry this is so late, but I just wanted to say -- I think it's amazing that you had such a serious health issue so recently and that you're up to trying to get the kids out. I found out about cardiomyopathy right after giving birth, when I was in a full-blown anxiety state due to post partum hormones and sleep deprivation -- I was sure I had it. It sounds like a terrifying thing to go through and I'm so impressed that you're powering through like you are. All good wishes towards your continued recovery.

I don't have a lot to add to what's already been said, just that you're not alone -- mine are seven months now and I just said to my husband last night that I hate it when Sunday rolls around because I'm focusing on another week of being alone with the kids...I don't have any other friends with kids who aren't working (I'm a public school employee so am off for the summer)and I usually go the entire day, until my husband gets home, without speaking to another adult. It gets very lonely. We got a stroller (the City Mini -- it's pretty good) when they were five months old and I've been taking them out for walks after their last nap, before baths, on a daily basis. We found a dog park in our neighborhood and it not only gives them something to watch, but the people who bring their dogs there are always friendly and interested in the babies so I end up chatting with them. It wasn't easy at first: they didn't take to the stroller right away, which surprised me, because I thought all babies liked going on walks, but mine would whine and outright cry for the first four or five walks. But I stuck with it, and now our walks last from an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes and everyone is happy. It also serves the very important function of occupying them in that hour or so right before baths and bedtime, when they start to implode. I have found this to be easier than taking them to the somewhere in the car with me, I don't know why. But I think it's given me confidence, knowing that I'm a thirty minute walk away from home with both of them and nothing terrible happens -- I can handle it if one of them starts to cry or gets upset. But it takes time, it really does, and so my best advice would be to start slowly and don't feel bad if you feel panicky the first few times you take them out. This is hard!!

Good luck and again, best wishes on your continued good health!