new to this website...advice needed

Hello everyone! I'm new to this website so I hope I can get everything figured out. I recently found out that I'm pregnant with twins. I'm 19 weeks and due around January 18th. I already have a 20 month old little boy. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to handle newborn twins and a toddler? I'm completely freaked out by the whole idea. I feel like we will be stuck at home forever. I'm a stay at home mom and I haven't found anyone that can relate to my situation. Several of my pregnant friends are worried about having one baby and one toddler, but they don't understand my fear of having two babies and a toddler. Thanks for any help, advice, or suggestions

Dawn

 

Congratulations!!!!!!! Welcome to TS!!!!

As for advice I'm sorry I can't help you but I'm sure there is someone here that can. The women on here seem to know just about everything and love to help others out when it comes to twins.

 

Congrats!! And welcome to TS!

I don't have any other children except for the twins, so I don't know the struggles of having a toddler at home plus twin infants, but there are several women on this site that did face that challenge and I'm sure will have tons of advice for you!

Good luck on your journey! I can't tell you how much help this site has been for me for the last 3 years!

 

Congratulations. I have the same age gap between my toddler and the twins. I also have 2 older kids at school. I'm also a SAHM. As for advice ... if you have family or friends around take any help they offer. Taking the toddler to the park, cleaning your house, doing your washing, anything. One thing that I make sure I do every single day is make a lunch box up for my toddler. They always seem to want to eat when your hands are full. I found that we 'fell' into a routine over the first few months and it just gets easier every week. One other thing I do is have my BF take my toddler one morning a week to Playcenter. It's on for 3 hours and when he gets home he goes straight to bed for his nap. Usually that is my day to catch up on sleep or just relax. NO CLEANING! If you can get someone to come and clean for you in the last month or so of your pregnancy you will appreciate it! Good luck. It's hard work but the twins just adore their siblings. :grouphug:

 

I was in similar shoes. My daughter was 2.5 when our twins were born in March. The first few months are hard, no doubt about it. And you probably won't get out of the house that easily, or that often. But, as they get older, and your toddler gets older, it will get easier. What seemed like insurmountable tasks 3 months ago (taking all 3 to the park) is much easier now.

You can do it!

 

I can relate as I've also worried how I am going to handle twins and a 2 yr old. I am a SAHM as well. The twins and my 1.5 yr old will share the same birthday (all due Feb 20th) however with twins usually being born early, I'll have 3 kids under 2 for a bit!!!!
I have already talked to family members and I would encourage you to enlist as much help as possible. Have people bring cooked meals if possible, or start making freezer meals NOW... the one tip I got from another twin mom was to get out a calendar near the end of your EDD, and WRITE DOWN ppl's names of when they can help. As everyone says " I can help!" but it's When?? For how long? Etc.
So have them commit to a time...like Monday from 1-4 or something! and write it down!!! That way you know who's coming when and what help you have.
Hope that helps! Congrats!

 

When our twins were born, my son was 16 months old and I was a little worried about being able to give everyone the attention that they deserved, but I just made it work. I asked for help when I needed it and I got out of the house as often as I could. I was brave enough to go to the mall, and do grocery shopping on my own. I would wear a baby, and put my toddler and the other twin in the stroller and get out. I needed to do it for myself! I did however, stay home for the first 2 months or so because I was recovering and I just went out when I had help. But now its "easy" and just remember, your oldest will continue to grow and learn and become more independent. My now 2 year old walks the dog while I push the stroller. We go to the grocery store and the twins sit in the grocery cart while he picks out the foods I ask him to get. When we go to the park, the twins go in the swings and Grifyn pushes the twins and also plays on the jungle gym...like I said, you make it work! Its tough at times for sure, but the good outweigh the bad.

 

Thanks so much for all the help. I was just having a really stressful day yesterday. I know it will all work out in the end. I'm the kind of person that finds it hard to ask for help, but I have to realize I will need help in order to keep everyone happy. Thanks again!

 

Welcome to TS and congrats! There is 24 months between my oldest and my twins. It is completely doable. I wont lie though and say it's a walk in the park, there is the exhaustion factor, and your little one getting used to 2 babies, but it's not as bad as what you are thiking. Don't be afraid to ask for help though. Get out as much as you can. I found that I was more overwhelmed when I stayed in days at a time. Even if it's just a quick walk, or out to walmart. You need it for your sanity.

 

I haven't done it yet, but when my babies come I will have 4 under 4. So crazy. But even from my last time here are my suggestions
1- get a great stroller you love
2-set a schedule for the babies from the beginning (I used babywise)
3-Have friends you can call up and say, can we come visit ( I did this a lot and it was great, more hands)
4-Plan short trips for errands but do it a couple of times a week (we started at like 6 wks)
5-Have a box of special toys for toddler to play with while feeding twins (wether bf or bottle feeding) when they are done eating put them away. This will keep the toddler busy and happy while you are trying to feed the babies.
6-work as much as you can at your toddler doing things independently now. Get a stool and teach him to wash his own hands. Have him get in and out of booster seat at the table. Teach him to put on own clothes if you lay them out. THese little things will be a big help once the babies are here.
7-find someone to talk to whether it be family, online, twins club etc. You need a place to vent.

Good luck, you can do it. Even if some days feel impossible.

 

We have 6 kids at home and the twins on the way. We homeschool our 7 year old and have a 2 1/2 yr old (will be 3 when twins arrive) Talk to your toddler A LOT about the new babies. My toddlers favorite book right now is I'm a Big Sister Now! Let them know that there will be 2 babies and tell your toddler what to expect and how they can help. With the other kids I always involved them as much as I could when the new baby came home. Obviously a 2 yr old can only do so much but have them get diapers and wipes for you, get bottles blankets etc. This will help with the sibling jealousy when so much of your attention is on the twins. I totally agree with the other moms and don't be afraid to ask for help. If the dishes don't get done or the laundry is behind, it's ok. Nap when the babies do (my 21/2 yr old still naps which is great). Come up with a schedule for your toddler if you don't already have one and then get your babies on a schedule as soon as possible. To plan ahead I did once a month cooking, you can get the cook book at the library. You make a months worth of meals in 1 day and freeze them. They taste great and when the babies come you only need to thaw and heat! I am a bit nervous too with having twins and 2 other kids at home all the time who need my attention too but I know that it will all work out!! Best of luck and congrats.

 

I've been worrying about this ever since I found out about my twin pregnancy! DD will be 17months when the twins arrive.

I constantly tell her that she's going to have siblings who are growing in my tummy but not sure how much of it she understands. During my 1st trimester I've gotten her to play independently in her playyard while I get my bed rest. She can see me from the living room & calls whenever she needs a diaper change or when it's mealtime. This has allowed me to get my rest & keep her occupied. Of course there r days she wants all my attention but I can deal with the occasional stickiness lol.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I have to rest & can't devote as much time to her, so I try my best to spend time with her & listen to my body when the babies need me to rest.

Good luck hope you find something that works out for you!

 

im just chiming in because i have two little ones (and a teenager!) at home and am expecting twins in march...the one thought that keeps me somewhat safe from imploding is that i wont have two newborns with the two little ones i have NOW...they will be six months older than they are now and doing a totally different set of things...will be easier to talk to (let us pray) and ask for help (my oldest little is already really great with helping with his little sister...its so cute)

but i am scared. i dont know how i will do it. im not surrounded by a ton of people who are willing to help. no real family close by...its going to be a big change. i hope we can manage.

 

I am also new here and know how you are feeling. We just moved to a new place where I know noone! My son will be 3 when the twins are born and I have a freak out moment everyday wondering how i'm gonna do it. Not having people I know to come in help is going to be the hardest. We will have grandma come in and help for a while but she can't stay forever. We are truly blessed to be having these 2 precious babies but the thought of doing it all scares me to death!