New preschool, different classes

Hi ladies!
So my twins will turn 3 this sat. And this week they started at new preschool. Because we start now in apr, so the school doesn't have room for them in the same class for 3 half days. If we go for full days, then they would be in the same class. However, they have tumbling and swimming at YMCA in the afternoon from 4:30-615, so I thought its be too much if they go to preschool all days

Well, Nolan actually loves to go to school. And he actually picked the school. He fell in love with it in the very first day we visited it. So it was chosen by him. However, Michelle doesn't want to go to school. I took them out of their previous school due to many sick kids this yr. they have stayed home with me for 3 months. And she has become emotionally attached to me so much and totally refused everything else.

On Monday, she cried and was sad but it wasn't that bad. She refused her food at school. So when she came home, so starving. Today I dropped them off. She was so angry and screamed "I want mommy. I hate school." She kicked the door and pushed her teacher away. I was watching her from the observation room that I can see them, but they can't see me from the class. It was so hard to watch. After 5
Mins, she calmed down. But then she just totally shut down, sat at the corner, was so sad and cried quietly, refused to join the class. I don't know it really bothered me. I feel like I should have let them together. I feel so crappy about it. I know it's hard for the first month. But I have never seen her like this at the previous school. It's even harder now then last yr they started the previous school

However, her brother actually does so well at the we school. He does cry when he misses me and his sis. But he got better and really joins and enjoys his activities. He told me everything he did (even the cry part) on the way home on Monday

Should I just let her try out for couple few weeks or just move them together and go full days?
Thank you!

 

I would give it a couple weeks to reassess. Remember they eventually have to go to school and leave you so they need to learn to adjust. As for not eating, I think I remember you having this same problem at school (or home?) before and as you know they won't starve in one day so if she doesn't eat at school then she'll eat at home. Sorry, I'm one for tough love and eventually they'll figure it out. It is hard to see them so upset though

 

I talked to her teacher. She stopped crying around 10 and started playing. She sat and had lunch with the class, didn't eat much. It's ok. I expected they wouldn't eat much the first couple months since its new school. I just feel like they should stay together in the same class

Yes, it's so hard to see her upset this morning. I felt so crappy all morning

 

If you feel they'll do better then talk to the teacher and see if they can work something out for the 1/2 days. Never hurts to ask

 

Yes originally we wanted them to be in the same class but the school doesn't have room for them in the same class until 6/1 after older kids move up to pre-K classes. However, if they go 3 full days, the school has rooms for them in the same class. They have tumbling and swimming classes at the Y on mon and wed from 4:30-630. So I thought it'd be too much to send them full days. And I thought I'd be OK for them in different classes since only half days until june. But it turns out not OK for my little girl.

It's a private preschool. And it strictly has teacher:student ratio 1:6. They refuse to go over that number.

I will just keep her in the class for another week or 2. If she won't get better, than I will have to let them go full days so they can be together. I really hope she will get used to it and be more independent thanks!

 

I would reassess the situation in a few weeks and see if it has improved. My two are currently in the same class at daycare but different primary groups so are separated for part of the day and it does them alot of good. Next time they move class I think we might put them in separate classes so they build up a bit of independence.

But I do know there is nothing worse than dropping them off when they don't want you to leave or them being really upset. Mine do that now and again and it breaks my heart

 

If your intention is that you want them to be in the same class, and the school has indicated that they will do it, then I'd wait even longer until several weeks after 6/1. It may be that she might do a little better once she is in the same class with her brother. After all, it's a big change--she had to change schools and she had to separate from her brother. If the school has set a policy of 1:6 (that's great that they adhere to it, by the way) is there some way she could join her brother for some of the activities in the meantime (art, snack, recess, etc.) until a spot opens open in the class?

 

They only see each other on the hall way when 1 class goes out to the playground and another comes back in. It's sad. Tomorrow is their bd. and I will send cupcakes to their school on Monday. However, they will have to celebrate their bd desperately...however, we do have db party at home. And they will hang out with their friends and cousins

I hope she will get better after another week or 2. Today she was still so angry and screamed and banged her head to the door because she couldn't open it. But it didn't last for long. She started doing activities after 45 mins which was a big improvement. I hope she will start enjoying her school soon. Her bro is doing so awesome. He actually does better without his sis. He made friend on the first day. I will keep them apart until 6/1. I hope I am making the right decision. Thank you!

 

I'm still so surprised how well my son does. They are always together in tumbling, swimming, soccer,.. And usually Michelle is the leader. If she plays, he plays. If she refuses, he will refuses. I mean he watches her actions and does the same. He follows his sis for everything.. But at this new school, he acts like a singleton kid, not a twin. He is so independent. The fact that his sis is not with him doesn't bother him much !!!! And his sis is like totally at lost without him!!!??? I just don't get it.

 

After reading this, it makes me think that they really do need to be separate. Is it fair to him to hold him back because his sister doesn't like that he isn't there? He is 3, it is not his job to make his sister happy. It sounds like she is the dominant twin, and when together she rules the roost. When he has been able to come away from her, he is able to shine. Maybe that is why she is so unhappy, she doesn't like that she doesn't have someone to do what she wants when she wants it.

I bet she will continue to adjust, find her own friends, and both will shine!

 

I agree with this.

 

Thanks ladies! Yes, I agreed that I should keep them seperate at least for 2 months and we will see how it goes

She does have stronger personality than her bros. I have a feeling that she loves him way more than he loves her. She always protects him. When he got into trouble, and I am about to purnish him. She usually comes and tells me that he is a good boy and I should stop purnishing him. And she always lets him get his way most of the time. They barely fight anymore, always laugh and have so much fun. If we do girl shopping, she always get something for him as well. but Nolan doesn't really get anything for her though, if Nolan and I go shopping. And she thinks mommy, daddy, Nolan and Michelle are enough. She is not really interested in friends or their cousins. She is definitely not shy but a tough little girl. It's her way or no way. So I know it will take a little longer for her finally accept that she has to go to school and be seperated from her bro. She started cooperate in class. But she hasn't smiled or enjoyed it. I really hope after another week or 2, she will like school and start making some friends.

 

Hi ladies! Jur wanted to update. Today was the 5th day at school. This morning, I dropped them off. She didn't cry at all, just a bit sad and went to play?!!! When I picked them up, she was all happy. On the way home, she kept telling me that she liked the school, she liked her teacher an she wanted to go to school everyday. I was like WOW!!!!

I talked to her teacher on the way out. She said Michelle didn't play much with other kids, she hasn't made any friends yet, she was still very shy but she did come and talk to her teacher. I was so surprised that she likes her teacher after just 5 half days!!! Well, the teacher must be very very good with kids!!!! I'm very happy that finally she likes school. Hopefully she will come out of her shell and make some friends.

My boy lol, every day I came picked him up, I always saw him laughing and talking to friends lol

Thanks ladies! Have a nice evening