My twins will be 3 weeks tomorrow and from I've read on here, the worst is yet to come. :blink: I want to know how to go about getting them on a schedule now, when really it's all about feeding times. And I don't know if we are 'doing' enough with them. I feel like they are in the swings almost all the time. We feed them every 2-3 hours, when one starts getting fussy/waking up/crying, they both eat. Sometimes they'll stay awake for a little while after eating, but for the most part they just go right back to sleep. If they're awake I try to hold them and talk to them, but that's not always possible so sometimes they do go in their swing wide awake and it makes me feel horrible. If they go right back to sleep then I will put them back in their swing. (BTW- swing is the ONLY place they will sleep- night or day.) But I feel bad about that too sometimes. Nights right now are hit and miss. Some nights are great and they only wake for feedings and go back down with no problems. Other nights we wonder if they've been taken over by miniature demons and scream for a few hours at a time. DH is home right now and will be for another few weeks (2-3) but then he'll be going back to work and I'll be with them by myself. We're hoping the nights will be better by then, but from what I've been reading it's the worst from 6-10 weeks. Heaven help me!! I just feel like we're doing this all wrong. We're first time parents and don't have anyone around us to turn to for advice and help really. I got the book about healthy sleep habits, but haven't gotten a chance yet to read it. I'm going tomorrow to get some fabric to make a wrap (which I found from this forum!) and I hope that will help at least get them out of the swings more but still allow me to do things around the house. Any advice on anything at all would help me out tons!!!! (And please tell me it DOES get easier!!) Gina
Congratulations on your new babies! Okay, deep breath. You are not doing anything wrong. The first few months with twins is just a big scramble. In terms of schedule, at this age, you really just want to ease into a routine....feeding every 2-3 hours sounds fine. After every feeding, keep the babies up for just a few minutes (depending on how long it took them to eat), and then put them down for a nap. Swaddle them tightly, crank up some white noise really loudly, and put them in their cribs. That's a great habit to start early....but if it doesn't work, then just have them nap in the swings or wherever else they will sleep. Ideally, they will nap until it's time to wake for the next feeding. Right now, they'll probably be awake for less than an hour at a time. As they grow, they'll be awake for longer periods of time. But, this basic eat-wake-sleep pattern works well for a lot of babies. It's a great idea to feed them both if one is hungry, just to make it easier on you. As far as *doing* things with them -- seriously, don't stress! Tiny babies don't actually do anything, and don't need very much stimulation. If you hold them, cuddle them, sing to them, and heck, walk around the house and point out the colors of the furniture -- that's all they need. For crying babies at night, I found Happiest Baby on the Block to be a good resource -- it talks about swaddling, white noise, swinging, sucking (pacifiers), etc. Good luck! Yes, it may get harder, but then it DOES get easier....
You're doing a great job! And yes... it does get easier! Just do what works for you and your babies... if they sleep in the swing, then go with it! Before you know it they are sleeping in their cribs all night and playing all over the place during the day! And I agree with the previous post... it is a good decision to feed them when either is hungry. Otherwise you could be feeding every hour or so. Not a lot of fun! Well, time for bed here... Good luck! Helen
You are right on track. Just enjoy the sleeping now! Someday soon enough you'll be posting on here that they won't nap like the rest of us have!! Reyna
You sound like you have it under control! My advice to new moms is to seek more of a routine than a schedule. Our routine (from reading Secrets of the Baby Whisperer) was more of an eat, play, sleep routine on approximately a three hour rotation. And the term "play" I use loosely, because at that age they don't do much. Awake time in the beginning was minimal, and the kids spent the bulk of their day in their swing. We also relied heavily on swaddling and sucking (thank goodness for binkies) as these two strategies did wonders for soothing!!!
Ok, deep breath! You are doing great!! Believe in yourself!! Sounds like things are going great! The only "schedule" you have at this point is when they eat. Basically you live your life 3 hours at a time. If they sleep in swings, great!! Don't worry! My babies slept in swings most of the first year and now are sleeping great in their own cribs. At this point, do whatever works! Seriously if it works, don't question it! Enjoy this time while they sleep. Just feed them and try to rest when they do. My babies were either in their boucy chairs or swings due to the fact that I don't have 4 arms! You sound like you are a good mom!!
I also think your doing wonderfully. We aren't into scheduling our babies to a T. We are into more of a routine, which they really set for themselves - 'Knock on wood' that they are on the same routine -also they did themselves. At that stage we were doing exactally the same thing. Only in bouncers instead of swings. We did get them in their crib from 2 weeks old, to present, but don't stress about that. Our pedictrican said to put our lil guy in a bouncer for a while when he had reflux issues... your not doing any damage so don't feel bad. I wouldn't
Try to calm down, it's hard, but your babies will feel it. It sounds very similar to my first few weeks. It will get easier, but it may take time. Try to nap with them, if you are able to, that always helped me feel a little bit more refreshed, even if it was only for 10-15 minutes.
I think you're doing a wonderful job! As far as routine, one will emerge naturally over time. Daytime sleep doesn't get organized until 12-16 weeks corrected age, so you can expect their naps to be pretty random for a while. As far as feeding - as long as you're feeding them whenever they're hungry, you're doing great! They'll settle into patterns of their own with that too. If you're looking for a routine, eat/play/sleep works well for some, play/eat/sleep works well for others, and there's really nothing to choose between the two. When the babies are that little, it sometimes takes some serious coercion to enforce either pattern, and I really don't see the point - I mean, if a baby IS awake and happy a little while after a feeding, no problem, but trying to rouse a blissful baby out of "milk coma" is just not worth it, IMO! And even if you get into a flexible routine, be prepared for the babies to throw some curves now and then - some days they may need eat/play/eat/sleep, for example. For your sanity, just try to feed them together. When one is hungry, feed both, or one right after the other. And try to put them down to sleep at the same time. At that age I also felt guilty for not doing enough to "stimulate" them, but pps are absolutely right - newborns just don't do anything! And simply being held and loved and sung to and walked around the house is plenty of stimulation for their young minds. It's a good idea to try a little tummy time here and there, but don't worry if they can't play with you yet. I'd highly recommend the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD, if you haven't seen it already. It is a great demo of ways to soothe babies during all the hard parts of the "fourth trimester." Oh, and don't worry about forming habits. If there's anything I could go back and tell myself in those early weeks, it would be that. In the first months, we'd bring the babies to bed sometimes, I'd nurse them to sleep sometimes (I'd wind up having coffee and reading with a baby asleep at the breast on the Boppy because that was the only way I could get any peace and quiet) - and I'd worry that I was forming bad habits and feel guilty - and I now have two awesome crib sleepers (who will ONLY sleep in their cribs and will NOT nurse to sleep, in fact!). Do whatever works to survive. They really aren't forming habits yet. Good luck! It's not easy, but YOU CAN DO IT! You'll be a total pro before you know it.
The other PP's gave you great advice. Your routine right now is basically the 3 hour feed/sleep schedule. They don't really need a whole lot of stimulation at this point. Mine slept in their swings a lot in their early months - A LOT! But when they were ready they transitioned just fine to their cribs and they are fabulous sleepers and always have been. The only bad nights we have are teething or illness. You are doing fine. Those first few months are just a big blur, and a struggle to get through.
I have no advice, but wanted you to know exactly how you feel! I think I posted almost the exact same thing 3 weeks ago! My twins are 5 weeks old and I still wonder if I'm doing everything that I should be. They're gorgeous, wonderful little babies, but are still unpredictable! I've been on my own with them since they were two weeks old - hubby wanted to take off more work, but just couldn't. I go back to work when they're 9 weeks old, so not much longer now and have a bit of anxiety about how it's going to work with daycare, etc, since their feeding times are basically different each day. I was advised by the nice folks here and by my pediatrician, that it was a bit early to start a schedule, that they would sort of put themselves on one. I started just Wednesday keeping a log of when they fall asleep, when they eat, etc. to see if there is a pattern anywhere. I know I can't remember on my own who did what when! We'll hang in there together... Shelby
Thanks for all the wonderful support and advice! It's just what I needed to hear. It's so easy to get overwhelmed right now. I try to just tell myself to get through this day and go from there. I know before I know it I'll look around and wonder what happened to my little babies. These forums are a lifesaver! Gina
I don't have anything to add but it sounds like you are doing great, and you WILL be just fine on your own, I've been alone with the twins during the day since week 2, and yes it is hard, but you can do it (really what other choice is there). And it will get easier!!
You've been given some great advice!! I just wanted to add that weeks 6-10 were actually when things started getting better for us! I know by 8 weeks there was a defnite improvement. We didn't have a schedule, but we had a routine. Eat, play (I use this term very liberally), swaddle and sleep in the cribs until we started all over again 3 hours later. It took a lot of work, and lots of times we still ended up in the swing (I moved them right next to cribs and only used them for naptime), but it felt soooo good to have some sort of idea of what would happen next!! Good Luck! Suzi
Thanks for posting - this is exactly what I'm going through now. The other night the twins actually slept for 4 hours straight together...unfortunately I was so weirded out by it that I kept waking up to go in to check on them to make sure they were okay, so I didn't sleep! As far as routine goes, I do every other night baths, they sleep in the same room with the same light on and I put on the sound of rain as white noise so that they don't get woken up by noises going on in the house (DH or my 2 year old). Otherwise - I'm still in survival mode at this point Best of luck to you!
I think I could have written your post exactly. Ours are on a 4 hour schedule it seems, sometimes a little less during the day, sometimes a little more at night. I wake them to eat during the day but let them wake me at night. They sleep in the swings, swaddled, during the day, and sleep in the same crib together, swaddled, at night. We don't do many activities at all with them, and I also worry that they're swaddled too much and won't develop physically as they should. I also have a 2 year old to chase around. I guess we'll go with what works for a while. I remember transitioning from the swing for naps to crib for naps with my son at about 4-5 months. Right now, I'm just trying to get them both to take bottles well! Jenny
swings are a great place to sleep - mine slept in them until they were 4 months and transitioned to the crib without a peep...we were on a 3 hour feeding schedule but ours were colicky so there wasn't a whole lot of sleeping going on during the day once they hit 4 weeks...
