New crazy bedtime routine - HELP

Hello All~

I haven't posted in FOREVER! I am at my wits end -- so I have come back to the place where I have received some of the best parenting suggestions when I have needed them most.

My boys will be 3 next week. They are potty training and doing a pretty good job. They have to go poop right before nap and night time. It's great that it is predictable -- it is not so great how things are going on. We have tried several things. Going to the bathroom after putting pjs on & brushing teeth, after story time and right before we tuck them in. They will sit on the potty forever. One usually goes then the other says they can't go -- we get them in bed and then the all of a sudden the one that didn't have to go decides he needs to go poo. We get them out and they do go but it's like they are holding it just for that moment - so they can get out of bed and waste time. So we tried doing EVERYTHING, then tucking them in and then waiting for them to tell us. They still insist they need to go poo before we get them tucked in sit on the potty for a good 20 min. or so -- don't go or go a little and then say they have to go as soon as they get all tucked in.

The same thing happens at naps but not as bad. They are dragging it out and using the potty to waste time but of course I don't want to tell them they can't use the potty because #1 I don't want to mess up their good PT progress and #2 they always end up going even if it takes an hour and a half. I am so burnt out with this and DH gets even more frustrated. I don't like being all bent out of shape with them right before bed either. I want to send them off happily to dream land

Hope this all makes sense. I'm exhausted right now but had to get this off my chest. Any advice would be sooooooooooooooo appreciated!!!

Thanks!

 

I would do two things. First, offer a special reward for going poop before the bedtime routine begins. No punishment for NOT doing it then, but just a little something extra if they do. Then, start your routine earlier than normal. If the average is 30 min wasted for them to go potty, start 30 min earlier. I also planned those "after lights out" call backs into the routine so I didn't feel like they were eating into mommy time! They do eventually get into a routine. I also warned them that I would only come back once so if they really needed to go, they needed to make it happen then. At least they are going in the potty! One of mine waited for his night time diaper/pull up, pooped after I'd tucked him all in then called me to come change him! :headbang: It all works out eventually.

 

I agree with the pp about starting the bed time routine earlier. That's what I did. But also I would maybe set a time limit on how long they sit before bed. If they go good if not you know they will probably call you back anyway after being tucked in. I know you don't want to hinder them on their potty training but they also need to learn that they can't waste time either. Mine used to do that and when they learned that them going on the potty right before bed took away from reading time or songs they started to go quicker and not waste time.

Good luck on the potty training I know how frustrating it can be.

 

I haven't encountered this yet, as my DD is still holding her poop for that naptime or bedtime diaper. :headbang: But, I think starting the routine earlier to account for the wasted time on the potty is a good idea. I also like the idea that if they waste time on the potty, then that is less time for books or cuddles or whatever before bed.

 

Thanks everyone. We have started the routine earlier and that has helped! I had started earlier before - but now we start an hour ahead of time This is great because DH and I don't get as frustrated. I hope they out grow this soon. On the other hand I am really happy that they are both going poop in the ptty even it if means they are wasting sometime to do it



Thanks again for taking the time to post your suggestions

 

i'd also add the idea of a timer, my girls were doing a similar thing when they were showing an early interest with the potty totally using it to extend the bedtime. another twin mom suggested setting a timer, saying you have 5 min ten min whatever is realistic, to use the potty, when the timer goes beep beep diaper goes on and you are all done until tomorrow. It took maybe 2 times for them to give up the stalling routine, we also use it for all other types of stalling, bath time, picking books, also for whining while cooking dinner. there is something about the beep beep that makes them understand the concept of time and they dont want to hear it so they hurry up and do what they should be doing. good luck.