Never wants to be set down

I'm hoping someone has advice for one of my 10 week old twins who never wants to be set down. I don't usually have to rock her or anything, she simply wants to be in my arms and she'll cry until I pick her up.

We've tried a swing and a bouncer chair that bounces itself and nothing seems to make her happy for more than 10 or 15 minutes.

It's hard to hold her all day when I have a 3 year old and another newborn to tend to. Plus I feel bad my fussy twin gets held a lot more than my content-to-be-set-down twin.

 

Have you tried wearing her? When my twins were that age I wore dd alot in either the swing or moby. she was more fussy than brother and even though it seemed like she was getting more attention I was still caring for ds and older dd as well. when you wear them its a win win. you get to still cuddle with the other twin and even older child because both your hands are free as well as doing dishes, cooking, laundrey etc and the fussy baby feels safe and content so you don't have to liston to the screaming.

Also you can nurse wearing the Moby which is nice I guess, I never got it to work but I have friends who swear by it and the Moby you can wear them both at the same time. At 7 months old if ds wasn't a full 3 lbs heavier than dd I would still wear them together. They are pricey (60$+) but TOTALLY worth it

 

that is what my doctor calls "arm cholic" my 14 week old and one of my twins had it. the best way to deal with it is put her down as much as possible and constantly reassure her that you are there, and yo uwill pick her up when you can. it is so hard to deal with. i feel for you.

 

I was also going to suggest wearing her. I had the Baby Bjorn, and if need be, I would wear one of them. I remember one sometimes wouldn't nap, and if I wore him, he fell asleep. At least he was quiet! LOL!

And you can also just set her down and like a pp said, just reassure her. Keep talking to her. Even try singing. Singing for some reason, has always worked for all of my kids. My kids also liked dancing. If they were extremely fussy, we would dance around the kitchen. DH usually came home to me holding both twins singing and dancing! LOL!

Hang in there!

 

singing works here too. If I have had a really hard day I will put my ipod on and liston and to it and sing while bathing the twins or cooking dinner or feeding them. I can hear the music which calms me and they hear momma singing which calms them.

 

Another vote for the sling! It really worked for us---they stop crying, they are comforted and reassured (something many people argue helps to create an independent child in the long run), AND you can get stuff done as you are wearing your baby.
Moby wraps are great and really handy. You can sometimes find them used online.

And I agree with the singing! I used to wear the twins and sing and dance. Good exercise for me, and almost always calmed them down.

Good luck!

 

What everyone else said. I used the Moby Wrap but also I would have "practiced" set downs just for a little training early on, even for 5 mins at a time. But it is hard with babies this young. They cry for need and if you are going to lay her down I would check in often, sing, talk to her, rub her, etc. This phase will probably pass before you know it. That being said, and I tell all mothers this after it was told to me and having read it, and lived it. You are not being unfair to the other twin by addressing the needs of the "needier" one. They will switch several times from here on out. I lived by this rule and at 23 months it still serves me well. You are not a bad mom and you are not being neglectful to wear or soothe one over the other more if that is the need of that baby. I just thought I would throw that out there - you are doing great and providing a foundation of security which down the line will build self-esteem and believe it or not, independence. This feeling of wanting to be fair will only increase as they get older and the best way to serve each is on an individual level, rather than trying to distribute yourself equally. Even though this is a hard concept now and the last thing on your mind, there is a great book about siblings called Siblings Without Rivalry. I was thinking of it because you also have a toddler and in a couple years the concepts talked about in that book are going to be staring you in the face. Anyway, probably more input than you want right now, but hang in there mama - you are doing a great job!