Need some words of support

I am very committed to nursing my twins. If anything, it has been much easier than nursing my first son alone as he had an undiagnosed tongue tie that caused me a lot of damage and problems the first 8 weeks. Other than some latching problems with my daughter (she couldn't latch without a lot of effort for about the first 10 days and now she's had a cold and developed a shallow latch that I'm working on as it's been pinching me a bit), things have been going reasonably well. My son came out of the womb a champion nurser, much to my relief.

I have figured out tandem nursing and do it daily. I don't love it, but when both are crying it's a sanity saver knowing how to do it.

The biggest issue is they nurse constantly. I feel like when they are awake (which feels like ALWAYS during the day) they constantly want to nurse and I have one or the other or both attached to me. It's feels like I'm constantly triaging and not really enjoying any time with them. Plus, I'm exhausted and that makes it harder to handle, as you all know.

They are only 4 weeks old and I do nurse on demand, but I feel like they are "snacking" (I never used to believe in this but lately I'm wondering...) and never completely full. When they are tired, they often only fall asleep for 10-20 minutes then wake again and are hungry again (all other efforst to put them to sleep are futile).

I am trying to limit supplementation, but today I was at my wits end with my son as he had been awake for 4 hours, dozing for 10 minute intervals then frantically nursing each time he woke up. Meanwhile I was balancing his sister in between. I ended up giving him 2 ounces of formula and then it still took 3 more nursing sessions before he fell contentedly asleep and stopped acting like he was starving.

I'm sure it's cluster feeding behavior or something like that as they are only 4 weeks old today, but it's really getting on my nerves. One baby cluster feeding was hard. Two that won't sleep long intervals and want to nurse constantly is driving me up the wall.

Any thoughts on when they might develop a better pattern? I want to keep them on the same schedule and we have success with it at night, but for whatever reason, I can't get them synced up during the day.

I'll even just take words of support. Like I said, I'm committed to nursing, but this is making me question my supply lately and making me anxious about being able to pump enough when I go back to work in 8 weeks.

My nipples are also still sore despite me working on latching properly and I can't help wonder if it's just because they're no me all. the. time. ?

Thanks.

 

First of all, a great hug! Nursing twins is a challenge and you are obviously very committed! Hang on, it will get easier!

It is of course too early for a proper nap schedule but do you think that maybe the constant nursing might also be confort nursing due to overtiredness? I think I remember cluster feedings like you describe from the late afternoons and early evenings but not as an all day thing. If they never nap properly, at least for 45 minutes or an hour they might become more and more overstimulated and overtired and turn to the breast for comfort more than for food. This exhausts and frustrates you.

Have you tried carrying them in a sling or wrap instead of offering the breast? Your DH could help with this and they might be content to snuggle and be rocked without sucking. One of mine loved napping on DH's breast as a newborn even though she would be searching for the breast when I took her.
Or maybe try taking them out in the pram, just to give you an hour's break from nursing during a typically more difficult time - the movement might rock them to sleep and the fresh air and nursing break will do you good?

Another idea that helped me a lot was to spend a nursing marathon weekend in bed. I handed over all other responsibitilities to DH and settled on the big bed with the babies, lots of pillows, water and snacks for me and just nursed them full-time to boost my supply.

I think I began seeing natural sleeping and nursing patters in the babies aournd 6-8 weeks. I used these as a basis for figuring out what a typical day would look like and where I needed to tweak a bit to keep them in the same routine.

My supply took 3 months to build, I had to supplement for once or twice a day before that. So try not to worry about pumping yet, things will change a lot in these first weeks and your supply will get a lot better. I was also never able to pump a lot while at home but did ok with the maounts when I went back to work.

GL!

 

Hang in there! :youcandoit:

You are right in the thick of the hardest time.
You didn't mention at how many weeks gestation your twins were born.
It seems to me that babies settle down at 6 weeks--past full term. Until then they do nurse pretty much all the time. Which is so hard when there are two and on top of it all you have a two year old! You are super woman!
So if your twins were born early you need to factor that in and expect those 6 weeks to go on a little bit longer.
If not the end is probably in sight. Remember that while it seems like eternity and it seems like you are about to drop--this is a very short time in the span of your life--and a very important time in the span of their lives.

I also second the pram or stroller--or even a swing? Feed and right into the stroller to sleep--and if you can then take your son out so the babies sleep in the stroller and you get to spend a little time with your son.

 

Just giving you words of support! Hang in there, this is the hardest period, once you get over this, you will look back and wonder how the weeks flew by - for me it is a blur but I remember the exhaustion and wondering when it will be better, and coming here to get support.

I started using a single stroller inside the house, just to rock one baby asleep while I handled the other (amazing what you can do with your feet when your hands are occupied!) - mine didn't like the swing or rocker until much later.

And is there anyone who can help during the day?

:hug:

 

Thanks for the support.

I think what happens is that they are getting overtired and I get frustrated trying to get them down to sleep as it takes so long to get one down and the other one is crying the whole time and then they are both worked up as am I. They do not nurse to sleep like my son did and when they do finally fall asleep (either being held or rocking) they have been waking up very soon after falling asleep (within 10 minutes or so and I have to start soothing all over again). They are also very gassy and this seems to wake them a lot and my daughter's spitting up is causing problems and she needs to be held upright for a long time after eating.

do watch for their sleep signs and have been trying to have them only be awake for 90 minutes to 2 hours as that worked great for my son. But this week, it just wasn't working until today. The only difference I made today was I added a bottle of formula for each baby at alternating feeds. One baby gets both breasts full and the other gets 2 oz of formula and then nurses as long as needed. This has now produced two naps each today within the 2-hour time limit.

I now think they were/are hungry. They are still nursing just as much, but are now sleeping with a few extra ounces on board. Or maybe today is just different? Who knows? :unknw:

I have done the stroller thing, but my daughter's reflux is so bad that she keeps spitting up several times in the stroller. They also don't seem to go to sleep in the stroller well, but it sometimes it stops the screaming.

I will keep nursing and supplementing as needed. I was so afraid to supplement more than a couple of ounces a day because I didn't want my supply to be compromised, but now seeing they are still nursing just as much but seeming much more satisfied (also very little screaming during awake times today), I think it's worth it to continue with more supplementation until my supply catches up.

ETA: The babies were born at 38+2 weeks, so maybe in 3-4 weeks they will calm down. I have read a few places that fussiness peaks around 6 weeks. Here's hoping!

 

I'm glad to hear things are going better.

I supplemented my twins the whole time I breastfeed. What I did was give them bottles on a schedule. They started off with 5 bottles a day (made to as many ozes as the formula package recommended per age--but I never pushed them to finish that much.) and I worked it down to three bottles a day (that was sometime after three months) I did the 3 bottles like meals and when they eventually started solids I gave them solids followed by formula. I breastfeed on demand around that. I weaned them at 15 months.

Remember that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Find what works for you.

 

:hug: I've been wanting to respond to you on a real computer for a couple of days now.

You are so 'in the thick of it' right now and it's freaking HARD. For me, after 6 weeks nursing got much, much easier. I know about the overtiredness- my baby had it yesterday and it was not easy. :hug: Today has been much better as I wore her in the Moby where she sleeps almost instantly- I didn't know this but there is a twin carry in the Moby if you can manage to tandem then carry them maybe it'd help with the overtiredness? If supplementing works for you today, go with it. You can always get things a bit more settled and do a nursing marathon to bump up your supply if you want to drop those bottles. I really like how Meli did it- not adding anything, just a few bottles at prescribed times.

 

UGH, you are definitely in the worst of it!! We are just over the hump and I am here to tell you it does get better!! There is hope! Give it a couple more weeks.
Just a few thoughts I had while reading what you wrote:
1)are you swaddling? Mine settle down SO MUCH BETTER when swaddled.

2)For gassiness, I cut out dairy and peanut butter (have yet to go back on either) and it made a huge difference.

3)Have you tried mylicon for the gassiness? I'm semi-crunchy, so I only give it when desperate, but I find that it really works.

4)Also bicycling their legs, pumping their legs into their bellies, holding up both legs and bending them to their heads like a diaper change, and twisting their hips back and forth also help with gas. We kind of make an excersice routine out of it, and I try to do it at every diaper change. (Before they've eaten or they will spit up for sure).

Also, I'm not sure how you would feel about this and I'm hesitant to even suggest it, but my babies sleep much better on their bellies. I did my own research and am comfortable with the risks involved, but obviously it's a personal call. I also know some people who only put them on their bellies during the day when they can frequently check them.

Also, last thing lol, do you have swings? Mine sleep for 2-3 hours at a time during the day in them. If you look for one where the seat is at a higher angle, it might help with the reflux also.

OK one more. Maybe I'm lucky, but I've found with all 3 of mine that a paci did not interfere with their nursing. Sometimes they just want to suck on something.