need some encouragement

[SIZE=10pt]Hello everyone,

I'm new to the board, and hoping for a little non-judgmental encouragement. After years of IF and a very rocky IVF cycle, I am finally pregnant! At my 6 week u/s there was only one embryo to be seen, and I have to admit that I was rather relieved, not sure I could handle multiples. But yesterday at my 7 week u/s...SURPRISE! Its two!!! I know 7 weeks is very early and I probably shouldn't even be posting here. But we heard both their heartbeats and the doctor felt very positive about my chances going forward with both. My DH and I went over all the pros and things that we are grateful for about having two little miracles at once...but we are both kind of shell shocked, and I am freaking out a little, trying to wrap my mind around carrying two, giving birth to two, financing two, bonding with two...etc. Maybe I should just start with the next 7 months and the pregnancy. I'm scared! I've wanted children so badly for so long, so I want to get to a place where I can feel good about this and be happy! And I don't want those little babies to ever sense my hesitation....[/SIZE]

Thanks in advance,
Mel

 

Congrats!! I think 99% of new moms expecting multiples feel exactly how you do! When we found out we were expecting I was not ready. We had not been trying to conceive, we had a 3 year old, a 6 year old and very little money. Then we found out we were expecting twins!!! It didn't take long, though, for excitement to overcome fear and panic. Now I look at them and can't imagine only having one seven year old!!! Best of luck to you!!!

 

Congratulations and :welcome: to twinstuff!! What you feeling is normal , i know i felt that way when i found out!! I was like OMG 2 how the heck will i cope. But i tell you having twins is fantastic , i have loved every minute of it (ok they do have their off days ) Dont worry to ask loads of questions as this site is great for support and advice! x

 

:wavey: and welcome Mel!! Congrats on your twins. :Clap: :Clap: I think what you are feeling is what alot of ladies feel! It's so shocking to think ahead. :hug: I think if you find yourself overwhelmed with thinking about the future, take it one day at a time. It will all come together at the right time. I was shocked and scared in the beginning too, but once they come you won't know how you could have lived without them. :wub: We're here for you and we look forward to getting to know you. :hug:

 

Congratulations and :welcome: ! You're fears will turn to smiles and even giggles once the shock is gone and you realize what a blessing has been bestowed on you.

 

Congratulations!!!! I know people who have spent a lot of time (and money) on IVF and have not had success, so to get two is a real blessing! I also found out I was having twins at seven weeks and had a lot of the same concerns/feelings you are having. In fact DH asked the ultrasound tech, "you're f*^%$#@ kidding me right?" and walked out into the hall for a second (ha, ha). It is very normal to run the gambit of emotions when you find out you are going to be a parent, especially when it's x 2. Soon though you will fall so in love with them BOTH that you can't imagine having it any other way. It sounds like these are your first? These are our first and I keep telling myself we'll be fine b/c we will never have known any different than having two at once. My friend who has twins and singletons said twins are more work the first year, but after that they are less b/c they entertain and comfort each other (so sweet). As for guilt for feeling overwhelmed, I also worry about the babies somehow knowing I sometimes feel less than confident supermom. On those days I just take a little time to put my hand on my belly and tell them how much I love them and how grateful I am they picked me to be their mommy (I know it's silly, but silly emotions is what pregnancy is all about :lol. Twin pregnancy is a wonderful, crazy roller coaster ride and all three of you are going to make it to the end just fine! Good wishes for the rest of your pregnancy.

 

Congratulations! What you are feeling now is so common there is even a name for it - twin shock! It took me several weeks to get over the shock and now a little excitement is starting to creep in. Best of luck.

 

First, I would like to send you a big CONGRATS and WELCOME!!

I know exactly how you feel!! I went through secondary infertility. I had no trouble conceiving my oldest daughter. It took four years to get pregnant with the twins. We found out the day after Christmas 2yrs ago. My numbers were high and my RE kept saying it sounds like twins. I didn't believe him b/c he says that to everyone he sees. My thoughts were that there was no way there would be two embryos b/c I couldn't even get one egg to fertilize for such a long time. So when it came to the u/s, I was VERY shell shocked that it was twins. I was very upset and scared. I really only wanted one baby. I had a hard time with it for a long time...even after they born. After about 3 months after they were born, I finally started to enjoy them as twins. Now, I cannot imagine there being just one of them.

It is perfectly normal. Don't feel bad about the fears b/c you went through IF. Two babies are different from having just one. However, as they get older it gets better!!

 

We felt the same way! But eventually it sinks in and you get soo busy with them that all those early feelings just melt away. :hug: You are feeling very normal IMO. You will do great! :good:

Welcome to the board and congratulations!

 

Add me to the list of infertility treatments, and panicking when we found out it was twins! Totally normal! We were just a step away from IVF with my dd, even had the consult appt made, when we found out we were pregnant! I was soooooo hoping for twins because we wanted 3 kids but I hated the thought of going thru IF again!

Well this time, I was NOT looking for twins, I didn't think I could handle 3 kids so young! So, surprise surprise, TWINS this time!! But you know what.....I know it's going to be a rough first 6 months or so, it's rough with just one baby, but I can't WAIT for the end result! Two little babies at once, what a huge blessing!!

Hang in there. Give yourself some time to get over the shock! I gaurantee that in time you are going to get more and more excited about these little babies!! :wub: :hug:

 

Welcome and Congratulations! Do not feel guilty. You can add me to the list of people who had a hard time getting excited. I found out at about the same time as you. I have a 2 year old and the idea of two on top of it almost sent me over the edge of panic. It has taken me a long time to get used to the idea. I am due at the end of April. I am still terrified but, atleast I am now more excited. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. Good Luck!

 

I don't know ANY twin parents who haven't gone through what you are experiencing. It's a big shock, even if you knew that IVF has a higher incidence of multiples. Don't feel guilty! You need time to mentally adjust. For me it took several weeks to get over the "holy crap! why me?" stage. Then I started getting excited because having twins is a special thing. I am still not feeling fully prepared for having two at once, but I figure we will learn to deal with it.

I would suggest joining your local twins club - there are tons of other parents out there with the same feelings you have. You can also take a multiples class which might help you feel like it is more manageable.

 

Congratulations! I think your feelings are perfectly normal and you are most certainly not alone. I was very hesitant in the beginning but I have now grown so attached to these little girls that I can't imagine not bringing two home. It will happen for you--soon you'll be so full of happiness (and plenty of reservations, too ) and will start to be more excited. Congrats again...

 

congrats hun take a breath its normal
i can tell you my husband and i were shocked when we found out we where having twins, we already have 2 boys so we where also worried about the money part.
we than realized we have to look at it the other way. we have 2 babies coming and only 1 labour, i couldnt be more lucky,
look at the joys of twins 2x the hugs the kiss's the i love you's , all that will out weigh everythign else.

as for the money part we open up 2 saving accounts, 1 is for bdays & x mas. we bought 60 a month in.
the other is for diapers food clothing really anythign the kids could need, once they are all out of diapers, it will turn into an education account, every aug we will go back to school shoping for 4 kids with that money.

talk with your hussband and you will find all your worries will slowly go away

 

I fully cired for a month. I was terrified b/c I didn't (still dont) know how we will afford having 2. But as the pg progressed I became okay with it and now I'm delighted. I cant tell you how we are going to manage but I am trying to leave that in God's hands. . . .I wish you much peace. Its okay to be "not okay" we all have to deal with life's surprizes in our own time.

 

I can't tell each of you how much your responses helped me. Knowing I'm not alone and hearing "real world" experiences is just so comforting. I read each to my husband, and it made him feel better too. Thank you so much! I wish peace and happiness to each of you and your families!! :grouphug:

 

We found out about our twins at 8 weeks everyone knew, we were so shocked and excited we couldnt not tell people! Welcome and congrats!

 

Wow, the shock! Yes! But we too found out at 7 wks that it was twins. It's overwhelming still to think about 2 in there. Just give yourself a few days to "set" in the news.

 

I know DH & I were scared for weeks after we found out it was twins. It won't be long before you're out shopping for little clothes. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea. Twins are wonderful!! I'm glad I got to experience the pregnancy & birth of 2 babies at the same time. Congratulations to you!!

 

Congrats! You will be just fine. I remember when my husband and I first saw the ultrasound! We couldn't believe it! What were the odds? After the shock settled (how am I going to do this) I was so excited to take this journey with my family and these two babies. I felt very blessed and so very lucky! Just relax and enjoy! My due date is right around the corner and I have been carrying around this excitement like you cannot believe..there is also some definite anxiety at what not to expect but it is like getting two for the price of one ( if that makes sense)..Enjoy!

 

I cried through the entire ultrasound at....22 weeks. That's when we found out. I was very slow to accept it. Even when I was 30+ weeks pregnant, I freaked out on DH for taking the second car seat out of the box (because it would be harder to return).

We've been there, done that. What you're feeling so oh so normal.

 

Speaking from experience, give it a little time and I'm sure you'll start to feel better about it. I am another IVF mom who was completely shocked. We needed help with our other two, but this was my first time doing IVF and we were really really conservative to minimize the chances of multiples. My HCG levels were so high that I worried about twins, but then that first ultrasound only showed one sack. My RE looked over my records and showed me how my levels were just as high with my other two. I spent a week feeling completely relieved until I started spotting. I went back in expecting to find out that I had lost the one baby and almost fell off the table when there were two w/ strong heartbeats. I cried my eyes out in the office and could barely dial the phone to call my DH. I was a wreck for days, but then I started to get excited. Now, I alternate between excitement and moments of stark terror, but that's pretty much how my other two pregnancies were.