Need some advice to get through the day!

Hello All,

I'm already feeling a bit better after perusing Twin Stuff (as I always do), but I'm feeling seriously frazzled lately. I am now a stay at home mom, and I'm finding this is much harder than any day at the office! My husband is a flight attendant and usually gone, so a lot falls on me. Mostly, I'm feeling lonely and having a hard time entertaining my 2-year-old boy/girl twins. I want to watch less TV, but it's too cold to go out and I'm feeling pretty sluggish and out of ideas. Any thoughts? Are there any good strategies/schedules out there? I feel like I need a better discipline plan, too. I feel stressed and like I'm yelling too much.

They also need to cuddle up in bed with me to go to sleep. I have two toddler beds that I can't get them to sleep in. I'd have loads more time if I could get them to go down to a nap and to bedtime by themselves. Any ideas?

Thanks for the help in advance.

Tamara

 

:hug: Momma. Being a SAHM is definitely the hardest job I have done, so I definitely feel your pain! My DH is a Firefighter and is gone all the time as well, so I feel you on that one as well.

For discipline around here we use 1-2-3 Magic. It has worked wonders!!!

Are there any classes you can sign your kids up for? Dance? Gymnastics? Story time at the Library?

This website has a lot of cool indoor activities you can do with the kids.

HTH! Good Luck!

 

We leave the house EVERY morning at 9 am and return at noon. Without doing this, we'd all be in the looney bin. We've done this since they were about five months old.

We do Early Childhood classes, Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS.org) it's international ck it out! One day they go to my Dad's, and we have a standing Tuesday playdate with a friend. Mondays are free so we go to a local music class or indoor park or library on that day.

We go to the Science Museum or children's museum on the weekend. We have a variety of indoor parks too (climbing stuff) and we do that on the weekends too or go to the Mall of America (10 min away).

We do at least one BIG thing every day. My kids are "need to be stimulated" type kids and frankly; so am I!

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! That's my strategy for staying alive.

123 magic didn't work for us.

We throw them in their cribs til they're done freaking out.

TWO YRS OLD IS NOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sanity? not here! :spiteful:

I think there is something to the fact that your spouse doesn't have a regular schedule. My partner is a pilot, so probably on a similar (non-schedule) schedule. Even though she is home for a few days at a time, she is gone for 4 or 5 days at a stretch and each month varies so it is hard to plan ahead with classes,etc. I'd love to join the local swim club but can't make regular sessions.

I second getting out of the house daily. I make sure we get out in the morning and then again in the afternoon before after school activities for the older kids begin. Sometimes they'll be playing so nicely and I try to take advantage of it by getting things done around the house and we skip the morning outing, but it ends up being a rough afternoon.

I don't think it has to be anything big- go out and shovel, look for neighbor hood cats, buy milk or socks, etc. We've visited 4 librarys in the past two weeks!

My recent favorite indoor thing is giving them a jug of paint, a couple of brushes and letting them paint the shower stall. This keeps them contained and occupied for 30-60 minutes. And then I am forced to scrub the shower and them so that gets done also! :laughing: Our current outside thing is using brooms to brush snow off things or placing bird seed strategically around the yard.

Not sure if your kiddos nap but if they do conventional wisdom is to take time for yourself then. (Which to me always ends up being eating something I shouldn't!) I find my day (and that of my kids) is nicer if I am productive while they nap- clean floors, prep dinner, catch up on household paperwork, etc. Not working means you never fully "accomplish" anything, which can be wearing on one's self esteem.

Sleep deprivation is the hardest part of parenting, imo. And I've got no advice. Currently my 6 year old has been sttn, but not my oldest or the twins (who have been nursing almost all night long again!)

The way it is now is not the way it will always be. Hang in there!

 

We are really involved in a mom's group (playgroup). Check out meetup.com to see if there are any in your area. This has been the sanity saver for me. We get out of the house a couple of times a week. It gives me other moms to chat with while my kids are having fun playing with kids their own age.

We also stick to a schedule. Not rigidly, but we do the same things pretty much the same day as far as when we get up/get dressed/eat meals/sleep/take bathes, etc.....

Get some playdoh. This will keep mine entertained for awhile.

I agree with Krystyn...staying at home is the hardest job I have ever done too! Keeping them busy is essential. Boredom around here is a bad thing. Here is another site for you: Preschool and Preschool Express.

I second the 1-2-3 Magic for discipline, too.

 

Everyone else has wonderful advice for you! I do want to say also that it's incredibly important for YOU to get out and do things for yourself if you can. Even if it's just as simple as having an hour to yourself to read in your bedroom or half an hour at the store alone. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine and we tend to forget that in order to keep a little bit of sanity we have to take time out for ourselves.

 

Definitely find a moms group! MOPS is a good one to look for in your area. Many churches have MOPS groups or something similar. There are also local mothers of multiples clubs you could look into. http://www.nomotc.org/ Through my church's moms group, I've found a group of moms that are available for play dates and such as well.

I find that my kids are just as bored as I am a lot of the time, so I will get out just a few toys and we have structured playtime. We'll get out just the puzzles and sit down together and do them. Or we'll get out play-dough and sit at the table and do play-dough for 10 minutes. Get out the blocks and build towers and knock them down, etc. I try to have some structured playtime in the morning, afternoon and as part of our bedtime routine. We also watch TV or videos, but I don't just leave the TV on all day. I find that they play better when it's off.

I also have them "help" me with chores. They like to hand me things from the dishwasher as I'm putting away the clean dishes. I got them some of those little dust pans and brooms, and they LOVE to sweep up the crumbs under the table. (Well, they don't actually sweep so much as spread the crumbs everywhere...)

The discipline stuff is always hard. I've read both 123 Magic and Love & Logic for the Preschool Years. I liked both books, but have yet to really put anything formal in place. I typically use redirection the most at this age. When they're getting into something, I tell them the rule (We don't climb on chairs), and then physically move them somewhere else in the house and try to get them engaged with a different activity. I can control my own frustrations a lot by saying the rule once and then physically moving them. If I tell them "No climbing on the chairs" and they don't get down, then I get super frustrated if I keep telling them and they don't do what I ask. So for my own sanity, I set the limit/rule once, and then take action. If they repeatedly do the same thing again, then I will tell them something like "No climbing on chairs. If you climb the chair again, you will go to timeout" and then put them in their rooms for timeout if they do it again. I've also found that they react to my tone of voice and emotion. The more in control I act/seem, the less they misbehave. If I yell, they will often repeat the behavior because they think mommy yelling is hilarious. :headbang: