Need help with punishment

My oldest has been starting to hit me (and cry/screams) when he doesn't get what he wants. Not everytime just a couple times a week. I need to get a handle on this now (I have 2 more that are seeing this-KWIM). I have done the whole talking to him. Tell him how I feel. Tell him he needs to use his words. I have tried to remove him from the area until he calms down but we have a pretty open downstairs floor plan and there isn't an area where his brothers don't go over and bother him. When I send him upstairs he is right back down and when I go up to keep him up there the twins are screaming at the bottom of the staris.
So anyways I need to find a different type of punishment. Any ideas?

Cari

 

We have a red circle rug from Ikea and use that as the Time Out mat. Highly recommended!

If this were to happen in my house, I would keep it short and sweet, "Do not hit mommy." I personally try not to reason a whole lot with my kids (although they are younger) or over explain reactions/consequences. Instead, I just keep it simple with a short, firm reminder, "Do not ________." Then it is straight to time out for three minutes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the rug since it is a great visual. And since my son cannot sit in a chair to save his life, the rug allows him to roll all over the floor but still stay in time out. Then after time out, I talk to him but again, do not overdo it. "It hurts when you hit mommy." Make him apologize. Hugs and kisses and we are done. Very Super Nanny style.

As for keeping your other kids away, that will be harder! I don't have suggestions there. My kids are old enough to understand now not to bother whoever is in time out. But I also shower the "obedient" one with lots of love and attention while his/her sibling is in time out!

 

I, too, keep it short and sweet "Hitting is NOT ok" and immediately remove to time out. Our time out spot is the steps. They can travel up and down (although they usually just sit at the bottom), but must remain on the steps. The good thing about this is there are steps almost anywhere we go, so time outs work everywhere. As far as keeping others away from them, I don't try too hard to do that. If one of the babies is bugging I say "....is in timeout. You can sit, too" and then I sit them there and they get up and walk away. But, usually if someone can change the timeouter's mood, we can deal with whatever happened easier anyway. Before they can get up, we rehash the ......isn't OK, and then talk about making it better (the appology-which has to be sorry for......name the offense). Depending on the age of the offender, we go into alternate behaviors.

 

I am also in the time out camp. I say something like "that is NOT okay," and off to time-out, which in our house is a corner. It's very boring to stand facing a corner, and standing makes it just that little bit less comfortable. I use the oven timer. When the timer goes off we review: "Do you know why you were in time out?" They are expected to say exactly why, not just nod. Then they have to apologize, or they get another time out.

 

I also have a little rug in the hallway, instead of the living room. When time out used to be in the living room, he still used to act up. Now that I moved time out to the other room, away from the action, I rarely have to put him in time out.

 

other than the above, find a way to keep the twins occupied. Take them to the other side of the room, explain to them that "name" is in time out for hitting mommy. Hitting is not okay. Then play with them he will hear/see that he is missing out and it will "stick" better. This is what I do w/my two. Tell him "name" is in time out and he can not play with him right now.

 

QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Dec 14 2007, 07:47 AM) [snapback]533757[/snapback]
I am also in the time out camp. I say something like "that is NOT okay," and off to time-out, which in our house is a corner. It's very boring to stand facing a corner, and standing makes it just that little bit less comfortable. I use the oven timer. When the timer goes off we review: "Do you know why you were in time out?" They are expected to say exactly why, not just nod. Then they have to apologize, or they get another time out.

I pretty much do the same thing. I do 123 Magic, but hitting is an immediate Time Out, no counting on that one. At this age, I don't press the apology or them saying why they were in TO, but they usually do say/sign "sorry".

 

Time out has never worked for my oldest. I've tried I don't know how many times, and no way. I take away things or privileges. Talking back is big here now for my oldest, and she loves watching a DVD each night while I am getting the twins fed (finished and cleaned up) and ready for bed. If she talks back, no movie. She has to find something else to do during that time. So, we go movieless for a while, which isn't a bad thing anyway, and then she gets back to reality soon. She also is allowed to play upstairs in her room, or in the basement for small amounts of time by herself if she is behaving, but that goes away next if we need to.

 

QUOTE
I pretty much do the same thing. I do 123 Magic, but hitting is an immediate Time Out, no counting on that one. At this age, I don't press the apology or them saying why they were in TO, but they usually do say/sign "sorry".


I do too! Hitting is an Automatic timeout!! "We don't Hit" is what I tell them. Recently I did make them say sorry to each other!