Need help w/3 y.o. whining!

Both Ben and Eve whine, but Ben whines nearly all the time now -- over every, every little-bitty thing. I never understood what whining "really" meant until he started in on this about three months ago.

What do I do? This really drives me nuts, nearly as much as the incessant newborn cry of what seems like long ago.

I'd be grateful for suggestions on you all curb, redirect, extinguish this behaviour.

All best and many thanks, Susan
Mom to b/g twins, Ben and Eve, 12/29/03

 

Both Ben and Eve whine, but Ben whines nearly all the time now -- over every, every little-bitty thing. I never understood what whining "really" meant until he started in on this about three months ago.

What do I do? This really drives me nuts, nearly as much as the incessant newborn cry of what seems like long ago.

I'd be grateful for suggestions on you all curb, redirect, extinguish this behaviour.

All best and many thanks, Susan
Mom to b/g twins, Ben and Eve, 12/29/03

 

My dd did this. Haven't a clue why.

One day, I got tired of it. I changed my attention to it. I told her that mommy couldn't understand whining. If she didn't talk normal, then I couldn't help her.

Then I'd turn away from her. It wasn't overnight success, but it did work. I had to stay with it, as well as dh.

If it's just whining to make noise, try teaching them a song to sing, and you sing with. Come up with other things for them to occupy their time.

Anyway, those last two are just ideas, never tried them.

Good luck!

 

quote:
I told her that mommy couldn't understand whining. If she didn't talk normal, then I couldn't help her.

I did the same thing when Alyssa and Bryony were going through a whining stage. I would tell them that I couldn't understand them or that whining hurt my ears, but if they asked me in their nice voice then I would help them.
Also find opportunities to model a 'nice' voice, for example if he is whining for a drink say "I don't like whining. If you want some juice then ask 'please can I have some juice mommy?'"
Remember to praise him when he doesn't whine-especially if you didn't have to remind him.

Good luck, I hope he gets out of this phase soon!

 

I understand completely!!!! My son has gone thru some whiney stages lately. Most of the time, I just tell him that I don't understand what he wants when he's using that voice. If it gets really bad, I'll tell him to go take a break in his room and then back when he's in a better mood. He's entitled to feel however he wants to feel, but there's a point when he's going to have to back off or I'm gonna start yelling. I'd rather not get to that point.

 

right now we are doing 1-2-3 magic with our daughther, and while whining is considered and "obnoxious behavior" and can be counted, we feel it's just something we can "ignore"

it is hard to ignore whining, it is like nails on a chalkboard to me, but i just give myself a timeout and walk away from the whiner. i will respond to her when she stops whining and talks to me in a nice way.

and i agree with previous poster... positive praise when they ask for something nicely "thanks for asking me for that so nice? it makes mommy happy when you are polite to me and don't whine." etc. helps not only to curb the whining, but builds self esteem and teaches great habits.

 

quote:
Originally posted by Twin nanny:
quote:
I told her that mommy couldn't understand whining. If she didn't talk normal, then I couldn't help her.

I did the same thing

Same here.

We tried ignoring and it did not help. Good luck. We have found it is a VERY LONG stage!!!!

 

I do not respond to it... my older dd does not get what she asks for unless she can ask without whining. It's so hysterical, when she's really upset it can take her awhile to figure out how to change her tone of voice. I too didn't realize how bad it could get until after age 3...she really didn't whine nearly as much before (although I'm sure I still thought it was bad)... I think the big reason behind whining is lack of patience. I constantly remind my kids that they need to be patient. I explain to them how things take time...like when mommy is in the process of getting the food/drinks to the table...how whining doesn't make it go any faster... It will take some time though to out grow this... we all have a tendency to be impatient...it doesn't excuse rudeness though...so don't cater to it. and try not to demonstrate too much impatience yourself... kids watch...and realize that if mom and dad get frustrated and impatient then why can't they?!

 

I started a whining/crying chart. I read to them each night, and they get to pick out their own books. So they each have a chart, and at the top is 4 books. If they make it through the day without whining or crying, they (each) get to have 4 books at night. Each time one of them whines or cries, I move her tag down the chart, eventually ending up at 1 book. It has been miraculous - this really matters to them. Think of something they really care about, something individual to each of them, and try a chart.
HTH
Janet