need help! 5 1/2 mo. twins sleep schedule...

hi there!

i have been reading posts on here for months now, but this is my first time posting. i have BG twins who were 33 weeks. they will be 6 months next week...so they are sort of 4 months adjusted age/6 months actual age for sleep training purposes. they don't have any problems except for some AWFUL teething these days (but no teeth). wondering if i can tell you our "schedule" and you can suggest what we might do differently? i have an 8 year old DD who i sleep trained according to weisbluth. it went perfectly and quickly and it was a dream. this has been a constant struggle. i am not opposed to CIO, but i just want to be sure i am doing it at the right time. i have read weisbluth, ferber, the baby whisperer, etc. i just dont know what to do...

7ish am - they get up and eat
9ish - first nap (REALLY short - 45 min)
9:45- eat, play, etc
11:30ish (or whenever they start yawning) - 2nd nap (LONGER nap - over an hour...)
12;30 or 1ish - eat, play, etc
2:30ish (or whenever they start yawning) - 3rd nap (SHORT - 35-45 min)
3:30ish - eat, play, bath
4:30 or 5 - THEY FALL ASLEEP - no matter what i do - i cannot keep them awake - they are exhausted... BUT... this isn't "bedtime"
6:15 until about 8 - they get up and go down over and over. snack, cry, fight, etc.
once they are down, the nights are relatively peaceful. still one or two awakenings in the night...we will deal with that next - i am more worried about getting their naps/bedtime in order and ending this nightly game of what my DH and i jokingly refer to as "whack a mole" (like that chuck-e-cheese game - as soon as we get one down, the other pops up...)

my friends are so divided on their advice. some say force the three naps to consolidate into two. some say dont do it til they are ready... what do you think?

i would so appreciate anyone's thoughts. thank you so so much!!!
sarah

 

I didn't read all the books you mentioned, but I did read Healthy Sleep Habit Happy Child. And I loved it.

Just from glancing at your schedule, I would consider shortening their awake times. I know at that age my two couldn't do more than 1.5 for their first wake cycle. That was usually their shortest wake period of the day. I know we were still on at least 3 naps a day, maybe a 4th one in there some where too. (It's been a long time! LOL) We didn't get a really solid schedule down until close to 5/6ish months. And they were born at 36wks if that helps.

The main thing was keeping their wake cycles fairly short for a while. And one of the main points of the book is that rested children will sleep better and longer than tired babies. And to this day my kids are solid sleepers, with at least 12hrs a night. And if our schedule gets messed up and they don't get enough rest, you can bet they will have a crappy nap or an early morning until we're back on track.


We didn't use CIO until 7mths and then it worked in one night. (And less than 30 minutes.) But mine also had a night feeding until then.

Edited to add:
Also, my napped swaddled and in their swings until 5ish months. I took the approach of some sleep, no matter where, was better than no sleep.

 

Mine were still on about 5 naps a day, around 45 mins at a time at that age. I agree that their awake time is too long for them. Try putting them down between 1.5-2 hrs after they wake up. Time their feedings around that, so if you know they will be sleepy at 12pm, feed them around 11:15-11:30 or so.

Sleep begets sleep, and the better the nap during the day, the better they will nap at night. I wouldn't do CIO just yet, they are a little too young. At that age, they usually wake when their sleep cycle changes, which is around 45 mins, that's why their naps are so short. But it's not really a "problem" as long as you know what's happening and you can work around it.

So for a day they wake up at 7am I would do something similar to this:
7am ~ wake and eat
8:30 ~ nap (however long they do, 45 to 1 hr is probably what it'll run)
10 am ~ eat
11am ~ nap
1pm ~ eat
1:30-2pm nap
4pm ~ eat
5pm ~ nap
7pm ~ eat, bath, nighttime routine
8-9pm ~ bedtime (or really whenever they'll go down, maybe be earlier if their naps run earlier)

It's just a rough routine, we didn't get into a schedule until the 5-6 month range, and mine were born at 36 wks. There's a fine line between being tired, and overtired, and you just have to find it with your babes

I would also save that bath until the nighttime routine if you can, it helps calm them and get them ready to go to bed. I'm guessing they are almost overtired by 5pm and that's why they are fussy and unsure of what they want! :hug: :hug:

 

At that age, our morning nap was the only consistent nap of the day. Mine were 32 weekers. If they didnt fall asleep on the bottle I would start soothing them and have them down by 1.5 hours after they got up in the morning. That nap might be 45 minutes or 1.5 hours. Then they would cat nap on and off throughout the rest of the day until I got them down after their evening bottle. I would say they were napping every 1.5 hours or so. They just couldnt stay awake any longer.

At about 6/7 months they started taking 2 predictable (morning and afternoon) naps and then a third catnap that they finally dropped at 9 months.

Looking at your schedule, it looks very typical. And I would suggest as a did a pp that you get them down earlier for naps and see if that helps stretch them out a bit.

What do you do when they get up at 5pm? Try and get them down from 6:15-8?? Or are they just cranky the whole time??

:welcome: to TS and the First Year.

 

hi all,

thanks for the tips, and for the welcome! happy to be here. grateful too. we struggled with infertility and miscarriages and IVF for almost 7 years - and finally a surrogate carried our twins. scary pregnancy, then the NICU - maybe that is why i flailing at getting them on a schedule. i think i have some sort of PTSD from all of that - and i just want to hold them and adore them 24-7! however, i know that good sleep is important for them and for us...and a schedule will help our family, and my 8 year old daughter.

i did know that weisbluth suggests an hour and a half of waking before starting to put them down again. but then, in his twin book, he talks about a two nap schedule with a 9am and 1pm nap emerging at this age. i wondered if that is something i could start to just sort of "force" with the babies in order to get a better bedtime. did anyone do that?

thanks so much...

 

We didn't go to two naps until they were on a four hour feeding schedule. In your case, I'd work on getting them over that 45 min hump. I spent naps in the nursery with them. I'd pat, sshhhh, pick up if they were really cranky, but the sleeptime no fun mommy was there. I'd cuddle or rock if I needed to, but we didn't leave the room until naptime was over which was about 90 min, allowing for two sleep cycles if they slept the whole time. I wanted to comment on the bath...my kids loved baths and it fired them up rather than calmed them down so I did them early in the day. My twins kept that third catnap until about 7 mos. (oh, they were born at 37w 5d so basically full term).

 

But for the sleep milestones you really should go by adjusted age IMO. That is why you arent getting the typical naps for a 6 month old yet. GL. Let us know how it goes.

 

No real advice that is any different from any pp. I just wanted to say I love the "wack-a-mole" reference. I also dealt with infertility, though not to your extent, and I know exactly what you mean about just wanting to hold them 24-7. Ours are now approaching 1 and though they sleep great once they are asleep, they must be rocked to bed every time. Way to go for beginning sleep training, I've created monsters.

 

I agree with the other posters and wanted to tell you that at 8 months our two still need 3 naps a day. Their third nap is around 4-5 and is shorter than the others, but helps them get to their bedtime which is usually about 7:30. The other thing is that yawning may be a late sign of tiredness and maybe you need to watch for more subtle signs, like playing quieter, staring into space, etc.

 

my boys are 5 months and i had enough of them taking short naps so i started to read baby whisperer. i took some of the advice from there, and modified it according to our needs. first, i stopped picking them up when they started to cry. i try to go in there, tell them shhh/ pat their back/give them their paci. at first it was really bad, but after doing this for about a week i have seen a big improvement. one of my boys still takes only a 45min nap for his first nap. so he woke up at 9:45am this morning, but i kept him up until 12:15pm, and he slept until 2:30pm without waking!!! my other boy slept until 10am, put him down for his 2nd nap at the same time as his brother, and he slept until the same time without waking as well. Also, i found that doing the same thing at naptime helped them get into that mode. I go in and change their diaper, put the white noise machine on, give them kisses and tell them its nap time, and just lay them down with their paci, and they go to sleep relatively easy. They are still taking a cat nap around 4:30-5pm, just for about 30 min to hold them over until bedtime, which isn't too much later.
Anyways, i hope this helped!!! i am still going through working out their nap issues, but I have seen a big improvement in the last week since i really stopped picking up and also swaddling.

 

hi again!

wow! thank you so much for all of the advice! it is so wonderful to "chat" with other twin mommies who know just what i am talking about.

i am wondering about the 45 minute sleep cycle...how did i never hear this interesting and important piece of information? so is it sort of a given that if your babies nap for 45 minutes, that is one sleep cycle...and if they wake/fuss/seem up that you could just leave them in their cribs and they would go back to sleep for another 45 minute sleep cycle? (provided they aren't hungry/dirty diaper, etc) that is an amazing piece of news! does that really work? i would love to help these guys get better chunks of sleep in the day...

thanks! (note my fabulous friday night... 9:38pm, in my jammies, eating girl scout cookies and trying to figure out infant sleep!)

 

Yep! Did it with all five of mine. Like I said in my pp, I stayed in the room at first (I wasn't comfortable letting them full blown cio that young). If they woke up, I left them alone unless they started to get really fussy. I'd do what I could to comfort them without picking them up but sometimes that didn't work. In that case I'd pick them up and hold them, but hold them laying in my arms, not up over my shoulder that way they were less likely to wake completely up and be ready to play. I didn't talk or make eye contact...same as nighttime feedings. They eventually learned how to go back to sleep without my help if they woke up and more and more started sleeping through that cycle change. I also had white noise and room darkening shades in the room.

 

I read the book "baby wise" (DON"T get it) but it did have one piece of advice that I liked. THE 45 MIN INTRUDER. Which mine had and sounds like yours too. That first nap should be longer. You could try to leave them for say a good 20 mins (look at your clock to keep your nerve) or longer up to say 30 mins. to see if they will go back to sleep. Or you could get one up and give a quick bath with the lavender stuff, lotion and return to bed all without talking to them. I remember doing this to one twin in the AM and the other in the PM. It seemed to get them over the huddle and let them sleep longer.

Or try sound in their room that is continuous.

I did the two naps and focused on either CIO or baths to get them to sleep longer for them. Nap one was 2 hours after waking. Nap #2 at 12 or 12:30 and we rarely had nap #3. But early bedtime of 6 pm.

Hope this helps you. Take the time to write out the schedule and give it a good week before trying different advice.

Heather