Need advice

Hi,
New here....my girls will be 12 in less than a month.....they are faternal. One is very outgoing, loves soccer,very athletic....shes also a very good artist, sings in chorus.....most friends gravitate to her. My other daughter is very friendly....a little inmature....very sweet. But she has no "talents"no hobbies.....and compares herself to her sister....I feel she will find herself with time....but middle school is so hard....they will be in 7th grade. How can I help her feel better about herself? We have always tried to treat them as individules...but they do most things together. They play soccer but one is a better player...by far...but the other does try......I'm out of ideas....HELP.
Thanks,
Juanita

 

Hi Juanita,

Will they be in different classes since they'll be in middle school this year? Having to strike out on her own might help. Girl Scouts might help also, they encourage girls to be independent and self confident. Encourage her to sign up for extra-curricular activities. Martial arts is really good at building confidence also. My kids are in their 2nd year of Tae Kwon Do and they love it. Having them in separate activities will be more difficult and time consuming, but it will allow your less athletic daughter to shine in her own things.

 

Thanks Donita.....They have always been in diffrent classes and are in their 7th year of Girl Scouts...she just hasnt found a place for herself, I guess....I'm at a loss as to what to do.....she seems happy....but has no real intrest or hobbies....they both are very jealous of each other.....dh and I cannot figure out why....

 

Maybe we can get some twins posting in here with some good advice from a different perspective. Down towards the bottom of the main page there is another 12-18 forum for twins. Try posting this there to see if you can get some good advice that way.

 

I am a 16 year old identical twin. My sister and I do everything together, but we have simular interests so its not a big deal. We get simular grades and have a pretty equal ability when it comes to sports. But a suggestion for your twins is if maybe one succeeds in sports then maybe the other one can try picking up a musical instrument or maybe join a club her sister isn't in. My sister and I are also very competative and jelous of each other. But as we tell each other, we are individual units working towards the better of the whole. We try to keep each other happy while jeeoing outselves happy. I don't know if I helped you at all. But if you have questions then just ask.

I am a 16 year old identical twin. My sister and I do everything together, but we have simular interests so its not a big deal. We get simular grades and have a pretty equal ability when it comes to sports. But a suggestion for your twins is if maybe one succeeds in sports then maybe the other one can try picking up a musical instrument or maybe join a club her sister isn't in. My sister and I are also very competative and jelous of each other. But as we tell each other, we are individual units working towards the better of the whole. We try to keep each other happy while jeeoing outselves happy. I don't know if I helped you at all. But if you have questions then just ask.

 

My name is Evelyn, and my sister, Mona and I are identical twins. Mona is WAY better at sports than I am, and I do sometimes get jealous of her, but I am better at other things, too, like singing and violin. We do most things together, but that doesn't mean we can't be good at different things. I always watch her soccor games, and she always watches my concerts.
If you don't have time for after-school-activities, then you probably should try getting involved in school things. Do they have a school chorus, or orchestra? Have her get involved in something that her sister isn't doing, so she can be proud that she can do something her sister can't, and prove to herself that her sister isn't better than she is. They will still be very close, but they will be able to be individuals! And maybe, if they're both REALLY good at different things, than their whole school can see it!!! (that's always been my wish, yet I haven't gotten far)

 

QUOTE(Mom2Bell n Bug @ Aug 10 2008, 04:16 AM) [snapback]922791[/snapback]
Hi,
New here....my girls will be 12 in less than a month.....they are faternal. One is very outgoing, loves soccer,very athletic....shes also a very good artist, sings in chorus.....most friends gravitate to her. My other daughter is very friendly....a little inmature....very sweet. But she has no "talents"no hobbies.....and compares herself to her sister....I feel she will find herself with time....but middle school is so hard....they will be in 7th grade. How can I help her feel better about herself? We have always tried to treat them as individules...but they do most things together. They play soccer but one is a better player...by far...but the other does try......I'm out of ideas....HELP.
Thanks,
Juanita


Hey im a 17 year old twin to an un-identical twin sister.
We have different interest ect like she goes to church and i refuse to go but i support it because thats what she believes in.
She is going to be a youth worker or something along those lines, where im going to do photography.. it doesnt mean she is smarter then me, I actually get better grades then she does it's just what we want to do.
Your girls are different individuals with different needs try talking to her and asking what she would want to do, get some prespective into how she feels, she shouldnt compare herself to her sister.
Good luck hope all is well

 

I'm 16 and I'm an identical twin. My sister and I do all the same things. We are mostly similar, but she seems to excel more in sports (at least thats how I feel), we play different positions but I still feel like she does better. I always compare myself to her, and it only seems to be her. Does your daughter seem to be bothered and upset that her sister is better at things?

She could try branching out if thats an option. For example, I jump in track, my sister can't jump, so even though I'm not a very good jumper, its still something I do and she doesn't. She could try doing something to get away from her sister. Doing something different.

Just see what she thinks. Talk to her about it, but don't be aggressive, or pushy, or bombard her. Just sit down and bring it up.