Need advice

Well it seems like the Devil is always throwing something in my family to fully exhaust. I hate to have this in writing somewhere but I am at my end and not knowing what to do.

1) My sister decided that she was going to run off with some man. And called and asked me to watch her kids. I usually dont because I can never find her via phone to come get them later. She said it was an emerency and she dropped off my neices and nephews. She never returned. I have some of her 5 kids and I have my 4 kids. CPS is involved and deemed her unsafe and the kids have no where to go. No one in my family is willing to offer suggestions on helping us with this problem.

2)Money my sister left 100 dollars and thinks that it is sufficent enough to take care of her kids.

3) My husband and I have been having martial issues for a while. But the newest thing is that he made a big mistake and he he then told me that he has been depressed for a while. So the marriage issues make sense. I have depression issues as well but I know my has some to do with diet and some to do with just stress.

4) My sister all of a sudden comes by and tells me I have to be in court with her. The one who left her kids with me. She doesnt want them back but she wants to get even with her husband for kicking them out. (which is not so) I go there and to my surprise I have to testify when I do my sister gets so mad because I said the kids arent safe with her or her husband. and that they are using the courts and the kids as pons.

5) My family was there and they werent happy with my words. I didnt care. but now No one is talking to me. I feel so alone.

6) It seems like I cant talk to my husband because he will get more depressed and I cant call my mom because she is so upset that I said these things.

7) Plus the other kids bio father came to court bc my sister husband had been beating up the kids. So he came and asked the court to take the kids with him. I was hurt but I knew that was his right. They agree for a temp stay with their father.

8) but my necice and nephews dont want to go they just want to stay with me and I feel like I have let them down because they matter.

Should I ask the Bio Dad to let the kids stay or just let him take them? they have never stayed with him in about 7 yrs.

But I dont want to over step my boundaries!

 

Frances, I am so sorry that you are going through this turmoil within your family right now. It's a credit to the type of person you are that your nieces and nephews want to stay with you. But you also have to do what is best for your husband and children as well. I know that this is going to be hard for your husband (as well as you) but you do need to talk to him about what you are thinking about...his decision also has to count as to whether you decide to keep your nieces and nephews or not. Plus their biological father needs to be in on the conversation as well. He may very well want custody and given that he's the biological father he might get it despite what the children wish. I don't know how involved he has been in their lives prior to this or the ages of the children.
Is there a social worker that you can talk to within Child Protective Services? Perhaps they can offer you some guidance and assistance to the process.
:grouphug:

 

Oh my goodness.. you have a LOT going on right now. I wish I had advice for you, but I can only really send good vibes and lots of hugs your way. :grouphug:

 

wow, that is a lot on your plate! Please make sure that you keep your own husband and children in mind as you figure everything out. I agree with the advice Nancy has, hopefully you can find a good compromise for all parties involved.

as for the whole court thing, you have to tell the truth, that was a step towards making sure that the children involved are kept safe. You and your family could always be a wonderful extended family resource to your niece/nephews without having them living with your full time.

so sorry you are going through this.

 

thanks everyone for just reading and trying to understand! I have since talked to my neiece and nephews and they are going to stay with their father because they really do need to bond with him and he loves them dearly. Thanks

 

I'm glad you were able to speak to your niece and nephew. You sound like a very loving aunt!! It will be a big adjustment for them, but I'm glad their bio father is interested in them. Hopefully he will be a good parent and it will work out for the best.