Need advice on bedtime, she is out of control and I dont know what to do now.

I dont know what to do...she is almost 5 1/2 and this is still going on and its gotten worse, my husband is saying he doesnt know how much more he can take so I need your help...

Nothing has changed...My kids have always been good sleepers, never problem going to bed till about 2-21/2 years ago, Bri a few nights ago refused to go to bed yelling screaming whining just darn right refusing she finally fall alsleep in the up stair hallway so I picked her up and put her to bed she was up.

Last night it started agian this time it was worse...yelling screaming I feel you can only put them back in bed so many times I was so lost on what to do so I took a baby lock and put it on her door...she hit it when running around like crazy...turned on her light off her night light and started screaming Yeah I can play I can see, jumping running around her room.
Then after a while of this she busted the lock off and ran to the bathroom then wanted the door all the way open, she wanted us in bed..she said when she seen us in bed she would go to bed....well that is what we did and it took a while still but she was in her bed talking and then went to bed.
She woke up at 4am and started whining for me and I told her she had to go back to sleep and I didnt hear anything till morning.

today its weird she does this whining fit she has never done and throwing things around like a 2 year would do. Time for bed she seemed wide awake, she wasnt before bed, same thing we had to go to bed...whing, crying so we went to bed but watched TV in our room, she would be at our door and few min telling us to go to bed. Finally I went in there( I felt so bad and upset about it) I yelled at her, warned her I was going to take her to the doc right then and there, she tried to run I grab her and put her in bed sort of ruff and spaked her butt.
I know she is trying to control also and I dont like to be liek that either it hurts but I dont know what to do.


I took away her games, she cant watch her brothers, no special snacks.
The only thing that has happened is, days before I let her fall asleep on the couch cuz we had busy days and she fell asleep fast and just alittle before bed time. and then in the morning for the past week she has been coming into my bed but at a decent hour 7am and just laying ther w/me, I dont mind but I toldher she cant do that either now..

What to do...Is it control, I dont think she is really scared as much, she will go up there during the day most time by herself I know she is prob the only kid that really doesnt like to be in her room much.
But she was fine before...I have hallway light on till she falls asleep, she has a night light, gets up in the middle of the night at times to use the bathroom and will go right back to sleep, she has always rised early the past 2 years.

What do you think, what should I do,,,,,Do I just need to be stronger w/dicipline (sp?) and if so what..
I am just at a lose...dont know what to do..she is a good girl she has her moments but during the day she can be so good and caring but in the evening its all changing...esp at bed time..

Please I could use any and all advise....Please and thanks so much...sorry about the Book...

 

Could it be taking her out of her routine that brings this on? If she is normally a good sleeper and breaking her routine brings this on, then you may need to make sure you do whatever it takes to make sure that you do not let her sleep on the couch. Always make sure that she goes to sleep in her bed. Keep taking away her privileges for the behavior so she understands that she can not do it, but I would make sure that the priviledges are taken away for a couple of days so she understands how severe what she has done is. She's old enough to understand that she just shouldn't be doing that. I would be taking away things for at least two days--IMO. Maybe by taking things away for a couple of days she will realize how big of a deal it is.

 

So basically, she runs screams, and gets mom and dad to talk to her, and she gets attention.

It sounds like she is overtired, but at the same time craving attention. I would think a behvior chart, with the bedtime routine on it will help her. You can even use a system like Cheryls where she can get or loose poker chips. She gets a point for completing her routine, and a point for going to bed, and one for staying there all night. After she collects X number of points, she gets a prize--the key is, the prize has to be something meaningful to HER. As she gets better about going to bed, you make is so she has to do more to earn a point. Soon she will be going to bed just fine.

It is about control. But using a behavior system puts the onus on her to behave, and takes it off of you to control the behavior.

 

My DS1 used to have issues like this. We ended up turning the doorknob around so it locked from the outside and took the lightbulb out so he couldn't turn the light on. (I had a monitor in the room so that I could easily hear him if he really needed something, just like when he was in a crib). He learned in just a few days that getting up after being put to bed was not okay. Because he couldn't even open the door, he didn't get any attention at all which really helped. He is still a control freak but he's learned there are some things that are just not negotiable.

 

Thank you so much...All day today she keeps asking what am I going to do at dark time...(which means bedtime) When I tell her what she needs to do and I tell her what I am going to do she just asking more and more questions over and over and then crys....

Just like she has an issue w/the potty...she said she has to go potty in EVERY STORE we are in..even if she doesnt to see what kind of pottys they have she HATES the ones that auto flush ones... she will once in a while go 1 in a 100 times only if I put a paper towel.....So I just dont know what to think I know she is old enough to get it but somestimes I wonder if she does w/how many times she asks and asks and asks....even if I know she does.


ok tonight should I do a sticker chart????
I really like the idea of turning the door knob but what if she is really scared of being in there....and also I would have to unlock cuz she gets up sometimes at night to go potty between 4am and 6am then will go back to bed most times...just recently she goes in my room but she has went back to bed by herself ok..just not at night when its 1st bedtime....arhhhhhh I dont know... I wish I could understand what is going on in her little brain...

OOO one thing she said she is scared of cars going by by..which means the cars driving by our house...her bedroom is in the front of the house..
I dont know...
Thanks every and for listening...

 

I can actually give you a tip on the auto flush toilets. Keep a pad of post-it notes with you. When you go in the stall, let her put one over the sensor so it won't go off at odd times. Then let her take it off to flush when she's ready to leave the stall. It'll give her total control over those going off.

Would music or white noise help her with the car noise at night? Each of mine has their own cd player and get to pick their cd's for night. Sometimes they even pick ones at the library that we check out for a week or two for a change of pace.

As for the rest, I don't know. Hopefully someone else can help.

Marissa

 

QUOTE
turned on her light off her night light and started screaming Yeah I can play I can see, jumping running around her room.
Then after a while of this she busted the lock off and ran to the bathroom then wanted the door all the way open, she wanted us in bed..she said when she seen us in bed she would go to bed....well that is what we did and it took a while still but she was in her bed talking and then went to bed.


This doesn't sound to me like a kid who is scared of the dark or afraid of something outside. It sounds like a kid who is getting a kick out of being in control. However, since you've seen her cry about the cars and about bedtime, I would try first to talk to her about what is scaring her and how she would feel if you could fix whatever is so scary.

If you find out she isn't behaving this way from being afraid, and you can't find any other reason for it than control issues, then I think you need to be more stern about the situation and really consistent with discipline. I can only tell you what I'd do. First off, I would not go to bed when my child told me to. "Mom, if you do such-and-such, then I'll behave." Sorry, that just does not fly. I would be putting the child back in bed over and over, without speaking or cajoling, if it took all night. I'd also take away every privilege my child has, one by one until they figured out I was serious. Maybe your child will respond to a sticker chart or rewards system. My kids don't. Their currently is their privileges, and when I take them away and stick to it (and believe me, I do), they get the message really quick.

I wish you the best of luck. :hug: