Need Advice About Having Another Child...

Hi all! I'm visiting from the 1-2yr old site because I have a question that I'm thinking might be better answered by moms with a little bit older kids. Any advice would be much appreciated! Here's my original post...

Need some advice from those of you who have had another child after the twins. I have a 10yr old daughter and identical twin girls who are 19mos old today. Ideally, I would like to wait until they were around 3yrs old to do it all over again but time is not on my side. I will be 35 soon and feel like the biological clock is ticking really fast to either do this or call it quits. I also used clomid for all my pregnancies and IUI with the twins, so it might take some time, but then again it could happen on the first try.

So I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of trying to conceive now and having another one within the next year. I would love to hear from those of you who have done this already. How hard is it to juggle the twins and a newborn? What about the logistics, like taking them all out with you at once? I'm a stay at home mom, with a hubby that travels pretty often, so I need to be able to handle all of them. Besides, I like my independence and right now I can take all 3 of my kids out to the store with me, but what do you do with that extra kid? Do you get a triplet stroller??? As you can see, I'm stressing over this, so please help!! Thanks!

 

Hi! Just wanted to say ... I thought it was going to be soooooo hard but I really wanted my kids close in age. I got pregnant when the twins were about 18 months old and miscarried at 8 weeks then got pregnant right away when they were around 21-22 months. I had hoped to have them 2 years apart but it ended up to be 2.5 years. Anyway, my twins were colicky and fussy and they are STILL waaaaaay harder than my baby (they are 3 yrs 2 months and she is 7 months.) Anyway, the pregnancy was hard and honestly I thought it was a lot easier once the baby was born. I had more energy and had a LOT less anxiety. I had a lot of anxiety about how I would handle them all (I figured all babies cried all the gosh darned time and never slept like my twins did) and how it would affect my relationship with my twins (they are verrrrry Mommy clingy and I will say they have grown up A LOT since the baby was born but we still have a verrrry close relationship.) As for grocery store and all ... if I have to do a huge trip I don't take the twins (I go while they are in preschool or when hubby is home) but if it is just a few things or if I need to run to Target or whatever ... I strap C in the Bjorn and put M&H in the cart ... I do the same for walks to the park or whatever ... C in the Bjorn and twins in the double stroller. We went shopping the other day to an outdoor mall type place and I took C in the stroller and the twins walked. I am lucky that my twins stay right with me (not ones to dart off ... the plus side of the Mommy clingy-ness, I guess =) and I am also lucky in that C is a pretty easy baby. Anyway, it was hard at first, I would say the first month ... but once everyone got adjusted and the baby was sleeping better ... it was totally manageable ... My husband is an MD and not home much at all and I never use sitters ... the twins go to a T/TH AM preschool but that is all I have for childcare help ... and I really manage just fine! I think you will be surprised ... and I really feel that having C just makes my days that much better and more fullfilled ... because she is such a doll and I love her so much ... there are days that I want to pull my hair out ... but they aren't all that often ... and when they do happen ... usually someone farts and the other thinks it is hilarious and Caroline laughs because the twins are rolling in the floor and I forget what I was mad about anyway! Good luck and pm me anytime because I had a lot of the same thoughts and questions ...

 

We just made it work! I'm not one for planning the timing of our children. We trust that God had the right timing. I love that my kids are sooo close in age. I wouldn't have it any other way. The pregnancy after the twins was hard in the beginning with morning sickness, then hard at the end because I was huge, but I figured the twins would never remember and now they will never remember what it was like without a little sister. We have a double stroller and two umbrella strollers. Don't go buying one until you know how many babies you are having, lol! Also if I'm alone I take the double and also those handy backpacks and let the twins walk.

I seriously still find my twins to be harder than the new one!

 

I always find it amazing for mothers of twins that are considering another child. My thought is if you're considering it...DO IT. Seriously I would not could not do it all over again! My girl friend just had a baby and is already talking about the next one, my heart melts just looking at her when she talks about it. If you haven't been completely scared off (like the scaredy cat I am) then I would "just do it!" :woman:

 

Thanks for the extra "push" ladies! I'm still really torn...some days I think "just do it one more time and be done" but then other days I think "am I crazy or what?"...life is finally managable and good, so I don't know why I want to rock the boat with a 4th! I do want that 4th baby but I hate to go through all this baby stuff again...that first year seemed like it took 3 yrs off my life...ha! Well, I think I'll wait a few months and revisit the issue then. The girls will be closer to 2 by then and maybe it will be an easier decision... :blink:

 

I am pregnant with another set of twins. I didn't want mine so far apart but with twins again it was a good thing. We had to do IVF both times so cost was a big determiner for us. We will see what happens, I too am worried about the store. But I am teaching mine now to walk by the cart and be more independently. Mine are older so I can do that. But the closer they are in age, the closer they will probably be in friendship growing up. Good luck, you can do it.

 

omg, melissa, that's terrifying...but awesome! congrats! i have thought about that too since i will at least need to do clomid again to get pg...there's always that chance! although with the twins i did clomid with iui and i'm not planning on doing that again...i can't imagine having a second set of twins...good luck to you guys! and thanks for the encouragement!!