need a little help

I am new here, but have been scanning the posts for a few days. I have 3.5 week old twins and I am breastfeeding and bottle feeding them. I started out exclusively breastfeeding (2.5 weeks), but I wasn't getting any sleep, at all - at night, each baby would nurse for an hour, separately and then I would basically start all over again. I have been giving ebm more and more often - I don't really want to be doing this for every feeding, but my girls seem to take FOREVER to breastfeed, and don't get full. They were both feeding off and on for 3 hours this morning, they kept falling asleep on the breast, but when I moved them, they woke up and immediately started rooting, again. I would like to be able to breasfeed them more often, rather than rely on bottles all of the time. I realize this is a little vague, but I didn't want to write a novel.

Thanks,
Janie

 

Hi Janine and WELCOME and HANG IN THERE!!! I could think of a few more applicable cliches if you would like ... this, too, shall pass ... :winking0009:

You are right where I was 8 months ago and I am here to tell you ... that first 1-2 months is HARD but it gets SO much easier! This is NOT forever and it is NOT your new lifestyle ... it is TEMPORARY! That is what I chanted to myself many nights as I tried not to fall asleep on the floor of the nursery while nursing the girls for fear of dropping them.

SO, first of all, I can't imagine how you feel b/c I tandem nursed my girls and I thought I nursed all the time! If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to tandem ... if you find the right set up and practice at it a bit ... it will LITERALLY cut down your nursing time by ... what ... 50%? Hee hee. And it is really easy and FUN if you can get the hang of it ... one of my FAVORITE things (still) is when they smile and coo and giggle at each other across the nursing pillow. It may take some creativity (like I have the EZ 2 Nurse Pillow and I loved it except I hated the crummy little back pillow it came with so me and my Mom went to a craft store and got some foam rubber and made a pillow to put longways behind me that fit in the cutout of the EZ Pillow ... and viola! ... much better) but you can find a system to work for you! I went to a LC once about some blisters and clogged ducts and she said I may want to nurse one on one for a while until they are bigger and I said, nope, sorry, that doesn't work for me ... I would be nursing all the time ... LITERALLY 24 hours a day! So, we thought of a different plan (involved lots of rolled up blankets and pillows to properly support my teeny preemies so I could at least scratch my nose =)

My second piece of advice is (and I feel like I tell everyone this) that just b/c they are fussy and rooting doesn't necessarily mean that they are still hungry ... or also, they may now be used to getting the bottle after the breast ... maybe they have come to expect that and think that is how it is supposed to be ... mine would fuss and root after nursing for an hour (I ended up-after about 6 or 7 weeks-"cutting them off" at 45 minutes b/c I noticed they weren't swallowing anymore after that ...) and I thought ... oh, they are still hungry ... but the truth is ... rooting is a reflex ... and babies love to suck ... it may be that they are mad that they are not snuggled with you and sucking anymore ... it may not have to do with the milk at all ... I have tons more thoughts on this but will spare you the details unless you want them ... =)

Thirdly, while they were still nursing every 2 around the clock, I picked a night feed that I wanted my DH or Mom or whoever (MIL, SIL) to bottle feed (and it was usually a mix of EBM and *gasp* formula b/c I couldn't pump enough to give them totally EBM ... and I think that is OK!!!) every night. That way, if they were nursing at 10 ... I would hit the sack at 11 then someone could feed them at 12 then I was up again at 2 ... but at least I got about 3 hours of sleep ... also, in the AM (like 8:00 AM feed), I would have my husband bring them (one by one) into the bed and I would nurse them in bed and could be lazy for a bit ... even a few mornings like that ... like Sat & Sun ... helps!

Lastly, even when nursing gets easier, I would keep giving them a bottle every other day or so. I didn't ... when my "help" all left and I was there for like a month by myself during the days and I had figured out the nights on my own (my husband is an MD in training and NEEDED to get sleep ...) I just always nursed them b/c it was easier than bottling ... and now, they refuse any and all bottles that we have tried! It is totally fine now that they are only nursing 3 X a day ... but months 2-6 were pretty hard ... I was really tied to them ...

Anyway, it will get easier! I PROMISE and you will be GLAD that you stuck with it! I always say that nursing my twins is one of the things I am most proud of myself for ... it ranks right up there with running a marathon!

Good luck and pm me for support anytime!!!

OH, I am so sorry!! JANIE!!! NOT Janine!! See, maybe the sleep deprivation has a lasting affect!! =)

 

Hi, WELCOME!

Traci has great advice (she helps me a lot too).

I just wanted to echo that it does get easier. Were your babies preemies? If so, once they hit their due date things sort-of take a turn for the better (mine did at least). For the first month or so, I nursed and then followed up with a bottle of EBM for an ounce or so after. Sometimes I would experiment with feeding an ounce of EBM first and then nursing. At about 3-4 weeks I scrapped the bottles and just nursed. They got much faster and more efficient really quickly. It did take an hour to do every feeding for the first month though. UGH!

Also, I agree with Traci that rooting doesn't always mean hunger in a newborn. Have you tried pacifiers? If not, that may help a bit too.

In the first month I posted at least once a day here with questions...it completely got me through that rough patch. Oh, who am I kidding, I still post once a day with questions. Please come back often and ask every thing that's on your mind.

 

I have the EZ 2 Nurse pillow - I tandem nurse them, during the day, but have had a hard time getting them both to wake and feed, at the same time in the night. I have tried not to give bottles, after breastfeeding - just keep on giving them the breast, when they root, because I didn't want them to expect the bottle. I am having a hard time not getting frustrated when they latch on, then push off, repeatedly... Especially when I have one on each side. I suppose the only thing I can do is keep trying!

Thanks for replying.
Janie

 

My twins made it to full term - 37 weeks!

 

Welcome! Leisle and Traci gave you some great advice. I just wanted to give you another reply to say it really will get so much better. We were all just posting about the fact that we still nurse every 2-3 hours but none of us seem to mind at all. In fact it doesn't seem like work at all any more.....that was FOR SURE not the case the first 2-3 months.

For me I had to set small goals - sometimes it was just one more feeding. Then all of the sudden things got easier. Even at 37 weeks they are just at what is considered "full term" and almost always twins are smaller. Trying to figure out two babies needs is SO much harder but the rewards are so much greater too.

I promise it will get better, but it may be hard for a little while longer. You've made it past the 2 week mark (lots of women quit with even one by 2 weeks). That tells me you can make it!

Do you have someone to look at the latch to be sure that they are getting the best they can? Also if you can do a weight before/after feeding it will help. When I did this they got a lot more than I thought and only a little more when I put them back to breast for what I thought was "the 2nd half". We had to do a lot of serious waking up when our 2 were that little - including some cold washclothes, DD is still a light eater and we have to watch to be sure she eats.

Post if you need help or just are having a bad day. The women on here are such a help, they got me through some really rough times!

jennie

 

Just wanted to echo everyone else...It does get so much easier!!!! Hang it there.

I told myself that I would never regret sticking with it, but could very much regret quiting. I also set mini goals... one more week...one more week.

Night time will get better and if you chose to wake one up to tandem, they will get out of that sleepy stage soon and will wake up better to eat. Mine are 12 weeks and are taking 10 - 30 min total at night (mostly around 10 min, 30 on a rough night). I know that 12 weeks may seem very far away, but it will go by faster than you think. It was not until a couple of weeks that is got easier for me, but some people say it got easier around 4 - 6 weeks.

I would try not to give too many bottles...it can turn into a vicious circle, but do give yourself a break. Sometimes that is what you need to keep going. Around 3 weeks, I got really bad blisters and cracks. During that time, I could not tolerate the pain during those 2 - 3 hr marathon feeds in the evening, so my dh gave bottles 1x in the evening while pumped... I would have quite otherwise.

 

Ditto pps - it does get easier!

I had a really hard time keeping my babies awake long enough to get full in the beginning. Here are some of the tricks that worked for me:

-remove layers of clothing (even down to just a diaper)
-play with fingers, toes, ears
-comb out cradle cap
-jostle them a little, just enough to startle them awake
-do some breast massage/compression while nursing - helps the milk keep flowing, and moves the nipple around in their mouths to remind them of what they're supposed to be doing
-wet washcloth to the face/neck

Also, if they're rooting but refusing the breast, they're probably not hungry. Like pps said, you could try pacis and see if it helps. When they're hungry, they will nurse!

Hang in there mama! You're doing great! :clapping:

 

Thank you all, for your replies... I'm going to work on the small goal, and just get to Friday. We had a good day, had to use nipple shields to get them to latch, but kept the feeding times to about 45 minutes. I am trying not to dread tonight, I will get through it. I don't like to get my husband up, because he has a long drive to work. Weekend nights are fair game!!!

 

Great advice given. I just want to give you a :hug99: and a big :clapping: !!! I can still very well remember those first weeks of sleepy, constantly eating babies. I can remember saying to my mom "I feel like all I do is feed them and change them" crying while I am saying it because that meant VERY little time for sleep. I wanted to quit soooooooooo many times, I just felt that was SO bad that something/anything had to be easier. But thanks to these ladies, my dh and my mom I kept plugging thru, day by day, feeding by feeding.......and we made it :yahoo: And so will you!!!!!