Naughty Twin Baby!

OK, so I am a first time Mom and was lucky enough to have twin girls. I was extra lucky to have found this forum which got me through my short 7 month pregnancy so I am counting on some advice with my current situation!
My bigger twin baby girl, Cayden, has taken to hitting. (she is 11 months old but adjusted age is only 8 months.) She gives dirty looks...scowls at you and strikes your face. So it's not bad enough she hits us from time to time but HAS to have whatever her sister Avery has and hits her to get it. She will also pull her down from standing and then hit her in the face. Then she looks at us scowling...hard not to laugh but also feeling bad for sweet little Avery.....We have told her NO NO, that's bold which she will do the delayed crying thing, tears and all..... (she will also shake her head no-no at us....)
....so, do i just take Cayden out of the action when this behavior occurs? Not say anything and redirect her attention? Continue to say No-No?
AVERY needs your advice...she is the good natured but battered twin!
Thanks,
Sarah

 

You got it, redirecting is really the only way to go when they are this young! And lucky for you and the rest of the twin mommy world that babies are easily distractable.

I hope that Avery gets some peace for a while. She is probably going to have to learn to fight back at some point.

 

Get use to it. Amber and Emily remind me of our dogs sometimes. You know, you can buy a rawhide bone for both dogs but it's not the same. They always want the bone that the other has. It's just a must. Same with the girls. One ALWAYS has to have what the other has. Case in point....my mom gives Emily a Barney stuffed animal that she had. So the girls were fighting over it. My mom finds another Barney at a store. A little different but still a Barney stuffed animal. Barney #1 is OUT, Barney #2 is in. No one wants Barney #1 now (he's only been around since the weekend). Barney #2 who was dropped off at the house last night is IT. And if Amber is a particularly bad mood over it, she pinches. Amber is a pincher. She pinched Emily in the face just before dinner last night and I made her walk to "the corner" and sit down so she could think about what she did. Good luck to you.

 

We are going through this same thing but with a little magna doodle thing. My MIL "found" it, so who knows where it came from and Mattie thinks it is hers and no one elses. We found another one at the beach and got it, not the same color, but has the same little stick pencil that they love to chew on. NOBODY wants to play with that one, they still like the old one and it cost me $10! Mine are biters already?

 

We are so at this stage here too right now!!! It's driving me crazy!! :umm: I feel like a referee! All day long I am constantly redirecting. Problem is, that is not working for my boys!! As soon as I redirect them, they are right back at it again!! It gets so bad sometimes that I end up having to put them in their highchairs and give them a snack just so they "forget about it". Pushing, shoving, hitting, pulling hair and now the latest BITING!! I thought twins were supposed to be best friends...mine seem like worst enemies :blush: . I really do hope this is a "stage" and I can enjoy them playing together instead of watching a wrestling match :icon_eek: .


Carrie

 

Someone told me twins are lucky because they are born with a best friend...Avery hates Cayden! She wakes up every morning willing to give her another chance and smiles and talks to her...plays with her over the crib but by the end of the day she's had it with her! I have read that kids and babies don't know how to hit and be mean but I disagree.... So can I stop getting 2 of everything knowing they are going to want the same thing??? THANKS A TON!
Sarah

 

Yeah, we just redirect if it gets too bad. I let them squabble but not hit or bite. You can redirect them in countless ways... snacks, "new" toys, or my favorite - if the boys are crabby I let them play in my bedroom. There's nothing they can get hurt on in there and nothing they can even get into but they think it's super fun.

 

You guys are singing my song! My Matthew is my bigger guy, and he has taken to bullying Ryan like no one's business. Slapping him in the head, BITING (oh, my poor Ryan), pinching, and clawing.

They'll be 1 next week, and I have a feeling I'll have this as a problem for a looooong time to come.

 

DS likes to take toys from DD and now DD has learned to hold onto what she wants. I tell DS "No, that is Anna's toy, you need to play with something else," and make him look me in the eyes before I redirect him to something else. He may not understand but I want to get into the habit of letting them know why they are not allowed to behave a certain way.

 

I spoke with the DP (devoted pediatrician) this morning and he said it's ok to redirect when you see it coming...like when Cayden is ripping across the room after the toy Avery has (which Cayden has th exact same one on her lap) BUT to use a key phrase when it happens like "No no, that's bold...hitting hurts" etc and let her cry for a few seconds then talk nice and explain hitting hurts....i think just to get us used to talking it out....put her down in a mini-time-out. BUT the part i hadn't thought of was to clap your hands and reward with a smile or kiss when the babies are playing nice. When I look at everyone who responded, the majority of us have the same age babies! THANKS EVERYONE...twinstuff saves the day once again!
Sarah

 

QUOTE
BUT the part i hadn't thought of was to clap your hands and reward with a smile or kiss when the babies are playing nice.

Yes, now that you type that, that is excellent advice! If you praise your children for playing nicely together (any age children) they will start to prefer that. All children crave the praise of their parents even if they don't show it.