Napping Nightmare

I have two very different boys who are 15 weeks old tomorrow. One of them has always been very clear when he is tired, and when I lay him down, he is cranky just long enough for me to give him his paci and then he's asleep instantly. Needless to say, he's not the problem.

His brother has always needed more attention, more holding, etc. and he is much less clear about what he needs. Since day 1, he has had a short fuse, and screams intensely if you don't meet his need quickly enough...and sometimes he keeps screaming even if nothing apparent is wrong. Both boys are getting reflux meds, which seemed to help the overall situation for a while.

So the problem - this week Tom (the screamer) has begun crying the minute we start our nap routine (basically just a lullaby and shutting the blinds). He cries really hard, and when I put him down, he cries harder. So I've been trying to follow the Baby Whisperer, and I pick him up and try to calm him down. But he WON'T CALM DOWN, just keeps screaming. I shush and pat and rock and then go put his head near the running bath tap (which has always worked instantaneously), and he calms down, but the minute I walk back to the crib, he starts screaming again.

It is so tempting to put him down and walk away, but I really don't believe in CIO (yet) and just want him to relax enough about the naps to do some nap training. As it is, I end up giving up. There's only so long I can let his brother hang by himself (forget napping with all that screaming) before I have to call it quits.

It's so upsetting to have him scream and scream and get more and more worked up. I don't know what to do or where to turn for help. I started working with HSHHC a month or so ago, and the early nap worked well for a while but now the earlier I put him down the more energy he seems to have for screaming.

Today I went back to swaddling and a pacifier and rocking him to sleep. He was so, SO tired and needed to sleep more than learn a new way.

Any ideas? Would a pediatrician have any clues? Do you have advice about using the Baby Whisperer's ideas?

 

Are they 15 weeks actual or adjusted? The only reason I ask is when you read HSHHC you need to go by the adjusted age. So you could just be right on the cuff of the whole napping thing. At that age mine we just learning how to soothe themselves to sleep assisted. I would start with putting them in the crib asleep and then gradually less and less until you can hopefully lay them down and walk away. Some babies just need a bit more cuddling to go to sleep early on and that is okay. So, do what calms him and gets him to sleep for you that way he can get some rest and you can stop pulling out your hair.

Another thing to consider is if they are sleeping a good 12 hours a night. They need that so maybe he is not getting enough sleep and that is compounding the problem. It will get easier.

Rachel

I forgot to add about the Baby Whisperer. If you are having screaming issues after eating due to the reflux the whole EASY method may not be working since you might want to keep your boy upright about 30 minutes or so after eating so the "activity" might be causing an issue.

 

I think different babies are different when it comes to the different "sleep methods". The baby whisperer thing just did not work for my first child. The sceaming just escalated more and more with it. Ended up having to do CIO.

With my twins, I never did try Baby Whisperer. It just seemed an impossible technique because I can't pick up and soothe two at a time. These babies are a lot more relaxed than my first child, so it might've actually worked for them.

 

I'm so grateful for the sanity and wisdom on this board, which is why I asked here instead of going back into the books right away!

They are 13 weeks adjusted, so just 3 months. I've been rushing a bit, probably. Partly because, they've slept beautifully at night for a long time - I put them down at 7, they sleep until sometime between 12 and 2, get a bottle of EBM from DH, sleep again until four hours later, nurse, then get up for the day at 7:30, give or take an hour. It ends up being about 11 hours at night.

 

QUOTE(Zabeta @ Oct 8 2007, 07:05 PM) [snapback]441033[/snapback]
They are 13 weeks adjusted, so just 3 months. I've been rushing a bit, probably. Partly because, they've slept beautifully at night for a long time - I put them down at 7, they sleep until sometime between 12 and 2, get a bottle of EBM from DH, sleep again until four hours later, nurse, then get up for the day at 7:30, give or take an hour. It ends up being about 11 hours at night.


At 3 months we were still falling asleep on the bottle I am sure of that. Their sleeping amounts sound great. And the night routine seems awesome to me. I could only wish for that for my boys. It took them a long time to mature into their night sleep but they were also 8 weeks early.

I think you have a good thing going. Dont put too much pressure on them or you for falling asleep unassisted...it will come. Keep up the good work.

Rachel

 

My Evan still needed swaddling, rocking, bum patting, and lots of love to get to sleep at that age. I'm happy to report that these days we basically just wrap him up and lay him in his crib at naps and bedtime and he falls asleep beautifully 90% of the time. His brother, James, on the other hand, was a really relax, independant newborn who didn't need much attention - at bedtime we just swaddled him, stuck in his paci and he layed in his crib until he fell asleep on his own...and now at 7 months he's our problem sleeper.

I think you're safe to just give you babies what they need at this young age. Next month your son may be a whole different baby and then you can re-assess his needs. I was just interested in getting the babies to sleep at all at that young age.

 

QUOTE
I think you're safe to just give you babies what they need at this young age. Next month your son may be a whole different baby and then you can re-assess his needs. I was just interested in getting the babies to sleep at all at that young age.


Totally agree! :good:

 

Although I'm very much a scheduled, by the book, don't-start-bad-habits kind of person, I also have one easy baby and one who needs a bit more. My DS sleeps well all day, but at bedtime, he's usually overtired and can't fall asleep.

Some nights we have to swaddle, other nights the Fisher Price soother calms him down, and sometimes he just needs to be rocked for awhile. I've even had to flip him to his tummy when he "forgets" to do it himself -- I don't think this is recommended, but I figure it's okay since he rolls by himself and sleeps that way most of the time.

We have let him fuss for about 15 minutes, and sometimes it works -- most times, he just gets more and more worked up until we find the "magic" solution for that night. (And once he's out, he's out for 11 or 12 hours.)

So, like others have said, at this age, I think whatever works is a good rule of thumb, within reason. You know your babies better than anyone else, so use your instincts and give him what he needs -- chances are, next month it will be totally different!