Napping HELL

I am really at the end of my rope. My girls are 3.5 and have not napped in their beds for over 6 months. They still need the naps and are horribly fussy and whiny if they don't nap. They nap fine at preschool but absolutely refuse to nap at home - or even to have quiet time. The only way I can get them to nap is to drive them in the car. Sometimes they fall asleep in the car within a minute - which says to me that they are exhausted and need to sleep. It seriously is driving me crazy and ruins the afternoons we have together because either I'm trying to get them to nap and getting frustrated over it or letting them not nap and listening to them whine and complain the rest of the afternoon. I think that if they were by themselves, they'd nap without a problem.

My DH says I should just drive them around every afternoon, but I hate doing this - it feels like a big parenting fail. Plus, what a waste of gas.

I've been thinking of signing them up for 5 day a week preschool and then just dropping them off on their normal off days for naps. I think the extra $ would be worth the sanity I'd gain by not having this struggle every day. HELP - does anyone have any advice for me?!

 

Have you tried a quiet time with more options? And separating them while you do it? At that age, I would give my kids the choice to do what they wanted, as long as they were on their beds and quiet. They could play with cars/trucks, draw (for the ones I could trust to not draw on walls), play with paper dolls, work a puzzle, etc. I made sure to tell them they didn't have to sleep. When I first implemented it, it was 10 minutes for a few days, then 15 for a few, and so on to where we got up to an hour over a couple weeks and that's what we did for a long time. What I found was that telling them they didn't have to sleep was sort of reverse psychology. Often they'd end up falling asleep while they were playing. It wasn't every day, but enough that they'd get enough sleep to make the days they didn't sleep bearable. And the quiet time on the days they didn't sleep, helped their bodies rest and calm down a little so the afternoons were still much better. The other benefit was that my children started to be better about not having to be entertained all the time. Learning how to be quiet by themselves, was/is a great skill that many children (or adults for that matter) seem not to have.

If your girls share a room, I'd separate them for the quiet time. I usually put one in my bed and the other in their room. And I'd let them take turns at who got to be in my bed. I left the door open so I could hear if they were getting into something. Starting for a short time, and making it sound like a big-girl thing they get to do might help.

 

My two stopped naps a little bit after 3. I'm quite sure a lot of kids stop napping before 3.5. At this point I'd just try and put them in bed earlier every night, so they get more sleep and are less tired overall... At what time do they go to bed? My kids still need 12 hours of sleep most nights at 4.

 

I would move up their bedtime and drop naps. My boys stopped napping at home at age 2. They go to bed at 6 PM. At the start I would even put them to bed at 5:45 as they transitioned. It took 2 weeks for them to really adjust. At just over 3 years of age they still go to bed at 6:00 PM 4 days a week. Mine do attend preschool 3 days a week and it is hit or miss with naps. All the kids have to lay down and occasionally mine will nap for 30-60 minutes. I do move bedtime back those 3 nights due to logistics but they are still in bed asleep by 7 PM.

I do have them do quiet activites for an hour after lunch. Typically I read to them but sometimes we color and work on puzzles.

I love for them to go to bed early. I don't miss fighting naps with them daily and I actually have more quiet time at the end of the day which is wonderful!!

 

Yes, maybe I need to accept the non-napping and move on. I did decide to do this for a while - but the kids are so whiny and miserable without naps - that I've started trying to get them to nap again. They are going to be at 7:30 now and usually sleep until 7 or 7:30, but maybe I do need to try to get them to bed earlier on days they don't nap. They do nap consistently for an hour and a half at preschool three days a week. I think this makes things a little more difficult because it's hard to get into a consistent routine...

 

If they're still that cranky when they don't nap, I don't blame you for wanting the nap to continue! My boys are just a few months younger and definitely still need naps; I dread the day those end. I would either try an earlier bedtime or separating them for naps.

 

I've been separating them for naps since they were about 9 months old. That worked pretty well until they were almost 3 when it all started falling apart. I have to say that one kid doesn't seem to need to nap as much and can generally keep it together pretty well most days without a nap. The other one gets very cranky, whiny and starts flailing around when she doesn't nap. Of course, this then rubs off on the other one and then both of them get cranky. I have tried to let one watch TV or play with my iPhone while I try to get one to nap, but even then it can take 45 minutes of back and head rubbing, cajoling and threats to get the kid to sleep - and this rarely works anyways. Most days I try this, she'll just twitch, flail, wiggle, jump out of bed and do everything in her power not to relax. I think she fights it extra hard because she knows her sister is awake doing something potentially fun.

Oh, and I also have to say that there is no way in heck that they are going to play quietly and then fall asleep on their own. My kids just aren't wired that way - they have never, ever done this - even when sick or when exhausted from jetlag/flying. I wish we had the type of kid who would realize that they are tired and give in to it instead of twitching and getting crazy to fight the sleepy feeling. I don't understand why they are like this both my DH and I love to sleep and love taking naps. I'm 39 and still haven't outgrown napping!

 

Mine are definintely not the type to play quietly until they fall asleep. In fact I was told by one of their teachers that she has never met a child as stubborn as mine when it comes to nap time. He will play with dust on the floor by his cot. He even has dust friends with names. This started when he was 2 1/2.

I spend quiet time with them. We read books laying on the bed or rocking in the recliner, color or do puzzles but I am there in the room and interacting with them. I actually enjoy the calm time with them. We sometimes spend an hour reading books. I gave up naps at 18 months but my mom would make us lay in bed with her while she read to us every afternoon after lunch.