Nap issues

We are really struggling with nap time lately with our DD's. No matter what we do, they are waking 20 minutes into their naps. We're careful to make sure to put them down before they get overtired. Usually they are only awake for 60 to 90 min maximum before they go down for their nap. They also go to bed at 6:30 now for the night.

When they wake up at 20 min, are we supposed to go in and try and soothe? Or, should we giving them some time to fall asleep back on their own? They are sharing a room too so sometimes one will wake the other up.

We're following HSHHC for about a week now since it came highly recommended.

Any advice?

 

How old are they??

 

They are 4 and a half months old. (Sorry, I thought this info came through on my ticker.)

 

we soothe if they wake up after 20 minutes. usually we can get them to go back down for another half hour or more.

have you tried swaddling? white noise? soothers? sometimes our guys are woken up by their own hands and we need to intervene on that first waking when it happens.

 

Oh, I didnt see the ticker. Strange.

Anyhoo, at 4.5 months I was still going in to soothe them. I would also bring them out and put them in the swing if that helped get them back to sleep.

 

QUOTE(piccologirl @ Mar 9 2009, 11:43 AM) [snapback]1220155[/snapback]
we soothe if they wake up after 20 minutes. usually we can get them to go back down for another half hour or more.

have you tried swaddling? white noise? soothers? sometimes our guys are woken up by their own hands and we need to intervene on that first waking when it happens.


Good questions. I should have mentioned this initially.

We've stopped swaddling since the girls have outgrown (in size) their swaddling blankets. We've moved to sleep sacs. We do notice they sometimes wake themselves up with hand or leg movements.

We use a white noise machine at naps and at bedtime.

We usually give them their pacifier at first signs of sleepiness to help ready them for nap mode. If they wake up after 20 mins, we try and calm them with their binkie so they drift back to sleep. Sometimes it works, other times it won't.

I'm frustrated since many babies are napping for an hour or two at this stage. For us, it's a struggle to even reach the 40 min mark.

 

we usually get 45 to an hour for naps. i'm also reading HSHHC and i decided not to compare our guys to the 2 hour mega-nappers.

there's a group of charts in chapter 1 (i think, maybe chapter 2) that shows the average amount of night time, daytime and total sleep for kids of all ages. our guys do 3 to 4 naps a day, and that totals up to fit nicely within the average for daytime sleep for their age. while a 2 hour break would be nice for me, i'm not sure they need that much at once during the day.

 

At that age, we only got 45 minutes to 60 min naps...our naps did not straighten out until 6 months. After 20 minutes I would try and go in and soothe too. Naps are very frustrating at that age...hang in there!

 

When they wake up, are they cooing/talking or are they crying and frantic?

With cooing, I'd just leave them in there. Maybe they go back to sleep, maybe not, but they learn that naptime is a certain duration (maybe start at 40 minutes) and they can't get up until then.

If they're crying, I'd try to soothe them back down. AlthoughI don't follow everything she does, I really like the Baby Whisperer method of putting them down and soothing in the crib.

Basically, you hold the baby upright, head sort of nestled in your neck/shoulder. Thump them on the bottom or back rhythmically (Strong, not just a tap), while making long shushing sounds. When you hear yawns, or feel her relax, transfer to the crib. Roll him onto his side, and continue to pat him on the butt and shush. You keep doing it until she's asleep.

Since my babies are used to it, I can soothe them (sometimes!) by just sort of patting them on the leg if they're only kind of awake, or I re-roll them up on their side and pat their bottoms until they relax again. If you know it's always at the 20 min. mark, you could go in a minute or two early and start the patting to help them through the wake up.

Also, I noticed in the last 2-3 weeks (my boys are almost 4.5 months), the pacifier actually wakes them up. I don't know why, maybe they're over the sucking need or something. But we had to stop using it at sleep times because it made things worse.

And just to be honest, naps here average in the 45-60 minute range, so we're trying to figure out longer ones too.

 

QUOTE(bekkiz @ Mar 9 2009, 12:12 PM) [snapback]1220226[/snapback]
When they wake up, are they cooing/talking or are they crying and frantic?

With cooing, I'd just leave them in there. Maybe they go back to sleep, maybe not, but they learn that naptime is a certain duration (maybe start at 40 minutes) and they can't get up until then.

If they're crying, I'd try to soothe them back down. AlthoughI don't follow everything she does, I really like the Baby Whisperer method of putting them down and soothing in the crib.


It really depends. Sometimes they wake up cooing, and we typically leave them alone unless it turns to crying (which it usually does after 10-15 minutes). Other times, it's a full on screamfest from the start where one will go on and on until you go in there. Our fear is that the one that is awake will cry to the point of disrupting the sleeping one's nap, and then we end up with 2 crying babies on our hands. The other issue we have is that when we finally get the cryer down, the other one wakes up and starts up. It's like we can't get them on the same schedule, ever.

 

You are not alone. My girls are 3.5 months adjusted age and we are starting to deal with the same issue. They used to take 2 hour naps really well and all of a sudden Hannah is waking 30-45 minutes into her nap. Sometimes I can soothe her back to sleep, other times I'm too late and she's UP. Kate sleeps through it at times and other times I've got two babies to get back to sleep. I am actually a follower of Babywise and I've heard that there is a 4 month old nap disruption period. I guess it's just typical of 4 month olds to experience nap disruptions. I don't have any advice to offer you, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your struggles and it's normal. Good luck!

 

My girls did this for awhile. It was frustrating. No naps longer than 25 mins for a few months no matter what we did. Keep up the early bedtime though! Finally at around 6-7 months they started taking real naps. Now at 9 months I get about 45 mins in the morning and 1-2 hours in the afternoon. Whoooo hooooo! But it took a long time to get here.

 

I did deal with this as well. I did do the going in and soothing at first. Then I decided to form a naptime routine like I do at bedtime. They would usually stay up for 1.5 -2 hours, 15-20 min prior I would change their diaper / rock them and read them a couple of books and I put them in their cribs. At first I got alot of protest crying, once they got the idea this is "naptime" they would only cry for maybe 10 min. They would wake 20- 30 min into the nap, and as I said at first I went in and soothed them. Then I realized it was making it worse and they were requiring me to do that. I decided to leave them the next time and see what they did. They did cry, but they have learned to fall back to sleep. After a few days of not going in and soothing they stopped waking up. Now naptime is naptime and I believe its because I stopped going in there.

I would try not going in there a few times and see what happens. I would also make sure neither one have reflux which could cause them to be in pain.

 

QUOTE(BlessedByTwo @ Mar 9 2009, 06:44 PM) [snapback]1220971[/snapback]
I did deal with this as well. I did do the going in and soothing at first. Then I decided to form a naptime routine like I do at bedtime. They would usually stay up for 1.5 -2 hours, 15-20 min prior I would change their diaper / rock them and read them a couple of books and I put them in their cribs. At first I got alot of protest crying, once they got the idea this is "naptime" they would only cry for maybe 10 min. They would wake 20- 30 min into the nap, and as I said at first I went in and soothed them. Then I realized it was making it worse and they were requiring me to do that. I decided to leave them the next time and see what they did. They did cry, but they have learned to fall back to sleep. After a few days of not going in and soothing they stopped waking up. Now naptime is naptime and I believe its because I stopped going in there.

I would try not going in there a few times and see what happens. I would also make sure neither one have reflux which could cause them to be in pain.


Thanks for the suggestion!

Madison does have reflux (which she takes zantac for), but we have her mattress angled so her head is elevated to help with that. She sleeps very soundly at night and longer than Kelsey in between wake ups/feedings, so I don't think it's her reflux causing this nap disruption.

 

QUOTE(Lisa&Lonnie @ Mar 9 2009, 11:49 AM) [snapback]1220173[/snapback]
Good questions. I should have mentioned this initially.

We've stopped swaddling since the girls have outgrown (in size) their swaddling blankets. We've moved to sleep sacs. We do notice they sometimes wake themselves up with hand or leg movements.

We use a white noise machine at naps and at bedtime.

We usually give them their pacifier at first signs of sleepiness to help ready them for nap mode. If they wake up after 20 mins, we try and calm them with their binkie so they drift back to sleep. Sometimes it works, other times it won't.

I'm frustrated since many babies are napping for an hour or two at this stage. For us, it's a struggle to even reach the 40 min mark.


I had the same problem with my DD at that age. She would just spring awake and there was no soothing her back to sleep. So I ended up giving her like 5+ naps a day while her brother took 3. She eventually caught on and now she naps really well. I'm sorry I have no advice, but just know that it will get better. GL!

 

Thanks to all for your feedback. Good to know we are not alone!

It's looking to be like one of those days!! I'm extrememly frustrated right now and trying SO hard to remain patient. Since the girls weren't napping very long all day, they both were in bed sleeping by 6:15. We thought for the night. They awoke at 7pm and my DH are still trying to soothe them and put them back down. I fed them both again in the glider in the nursery since they didn't have too much at their last feed before falling asleep.

My DH and I are at each other's throats since we're so frustrated and don't know what to do.

How do you make it through these awful days/nights?

Sorry - really needed to vent!

 

I bang my head against a wall. Literally.

Like I said, we're having napping issues too, and I think I went through like 2 weeks where I thought I was the worst mother in the world. I read a ton of books, and tried everything under the sun, and the kids still have short naps. I'm the kind of person who really need a recipe, so when things aren't working I freak out, and resort to head banging.

Then I just let it go. It was hard. Last week, my mom was in town and the boys woke up and we couldn't get them back down. Will was smiling and laughing, and my mom said, "Oh, how cute is he, smiling like that?" My response (and I'm not proud of this)..."I don't care, I'm sick of this." Almost immediately I realized that I'm terrible at living in the moment and always worried about how what is happening now will effect later. And I was really missing out on some cute times with the kids. I felt just awful when I realized that.

So now it's a daily struggle to remind myself that eventually they will sleep, and eventually they work all of this out. And I really need to focus on the fun good moments, and try to just let the crappy ones float away. Doesn't work all of the time, but I'm trying.

Or you could just put them in their car seats and drive to the next state. I almost drove to Canada once (like 2 hours from here), because I thought they'd sleep!

 

QUOTE(BlessedByTwo @ Mar 10 2009, 08:44 AM) [snapback]1220971[/snapback]
I did deal with this as well. I did do the going in and soothing at first. Then I decided to form a naptime routine like I do at bedtime. They would usually stay up for 1.5 -2 hours, 15-20 min prior I would change their diaper / rock them and read them a couple of books and I put them in their cribs. At first I got alot of protest crying, once they got the idea this is "naptime" they would only cry for maybe 10 min. They would wake 20- 30 min into the nap, and as I said at first I went in and soothed them. Then I realized it was making it worse and they were requiring me to do that. I decided to leave them the next time and see what they did. They did cry, but they have learned to fall back to sleep. After a few days of not going in and soothing they stopped waking up. Now naptime is naptime and I believe its because I stopped going in there.

I would try not going in there a few times and see what happens. I would also make sure neither one have reflux which could cause them to be in pain.



I agree with this post. i think you need to keep them up for 1.5 - 2 hours. I think they are not wake enough -- putting them back to bed as soon as you have been doing is more for when they are a couple months old. I think around your time I sat down and wrote down a schedule. I think I asked on here what most others were doing at 4 months of age. Write down like you would if someone was going to watch over the kids. So wake up 5 am, back to sleep 2 hours later. Eat at this time, etc.

Nap one usually 8 am (or two hours after waking) anything less than an hour they had to self-settle and put themselves back to sleep. I split them up into different rooms for naps. ONe was in a pnp. I also added music at nap times too which played continuously. I also put lavender oil (or baby Vicks which is essential oils) onto their sheets or clothes -- it put them into sleepy mode. I also feed mine before bed -- so they know after a feed it was bedtime. Try to say the same thing each time. I also used sleeping bags (baby ones) and that signaled it was bedtime. if all else fails use a bath to put them into nap mode -- but becareful with it because often mine would wake up after an hour if I had bathed them.....


good luck and great book BTW

Heather

 

At that age I'd try to soothe them back to sleep after giving them a few minutes to try to work it out on their own. Do they use pacis? Do they ever nap in swings?

 

QUOTE(Leighann @ Mar 10 2009, 09:49 AM) [snapback]1221530[/snapback]
At that age I'd try to soothe them back to sleep after giving them a few minutes to try to work it out on their own. Do they use pacis? Do they ever nap in swings?


We'll give it a shot. I'm hoping they'll start to develop self soothing soon. I don't want to interfere by going in there immediately and not giving them a chance to work it out on their own.

Yes, both seem to soothe with pacifiers and we use them quite a bit. Only time it doesn't work is if they are hungry. It seems to upset them rather than calm them.

We used to let them nap in the swing until a week ago but we're trying to get them to take all naps in the crib now. I just started HSHHC and they seem to recommend non-motion naps. Trying to implement the strategies of HSHHC has been pretty difficult here in the beginning. We're so frustrated.

 

I would try to swaddle them as best you can. I think the swaddling soothes babies and makes them feel comforted. I think that if you've been letting them nap in their swings there will probably be a bit of an adjustment period with moving to cribs. I also sort of think that if swing napping was working for you then why not just keep doing what was working? Although I guess you could look at it as eventually they will outgrow the swings so at that point you'd go through this so why prolong it?

It might also be that they are just going through a little something right now that is interfering with their naps. How long has it been going on?

 

QUOTE(aimeethomp @ Mar 10 2009, 10:22 AM) [snapback]1221575[/snapback]
I would try to swaddle them as best you can. I think the swaddling soothes babies and makes them feel comforted. I think that if you've been letting them nap in their swings there will probably be a bit of an adjustment period with moving to cribs. I also sort of think that if swing napping was working for you then why not just keep doing what was working? Although I guess you could look at it as eventually they will outgrow the swings so at that point you'd go through this so why prolong it?

It might also be that they are just going through a little something right now that is interfering with their naps. How long has it been going on?


They've been doing the 20 min wake up routine since we've transitioned them to napping in their cribs (approx 2 weeks now). Prior to that, they would nap in either their bouncy seats or the swing. Basically, where ever they would fall asleep for longer periods of time.

I guess we can try to swaddle again but we were hoping to move out of that by using sleep sacks instead. One of our DD's is pushing 16lbs already so the swaddle blanket doesn't really fit her anymore.

As I type this, I can hear both girls chirping after we just put them down for their second nap. We rocked and soothed each baby for about 20 min until they were on there way to la-la land and then put down in the crib.

This is the point where we try and let them settle themselves and then intervene only after 15 min if necessary.

This is SO hard. Much harder than anything I've had to do before in my life. I'm so worried about every little thing and if I'm doing what's best for the girls. This makes my former 50+ hour a week job look like cake!

Thanks so much to everyone for the advice

PS - I think they just stopped chirping!!!! How exciting!