Nap help

My boys are 7 months old. Naps are driving me batty and I'm out of ideas!

So, the major problem is not only that they can't settle themselves to sleep, they can't even be transitioned from being held to laying down without waking up.

This morning was pretty typical: Wake up at 5 (they were asleep by 9 last night, and slept through). Let them fuss for a bit. Feed at 6. Then since there were two of us doing it, they both fell asleep being held. DS#1 got put in his swing, I head DS#2. They were both awake by 7:30. If we had tried putting them in their cribs, they wouldn't have slept even that much. Tried to put them back to sleep, they weren't having any of it.

So from 7:30 until 9 we played. Then I tried to feed DS#1 his solids - no go. Tried to feed DS#2 HIS solids. No go. DS#1 starts screaming and rubbing his eyes. Fed DS#2 his bottle, he was asleep 2 oz in, I coaxed him to take most of the rest. Carried him to his crib. Laid him down. WIDE AWAKE. I kissed him and left him there, with some music on. He starts screaming. The past 3 days I've done this, he's fallen asleep twice - took him an hour each time. The other time it was an hour and a half in, and I caved and went to get him and rock him.

Tried DS#1 with solids again. No go, again. Tried his bottle. He refused and screamed for 20 minutes and then dove in, and finished. Rocked him to sleep. Tried to put him in his crib. He woke right up. Starts screaming.

I closed the door and left the room, and here I am. DS#2 has been screaming in his crib for a solid hour. DS#1 has been going for 20 minutes or so, but I know, from doing this before, he will scream until I go get him, at which point he will likely be covered in vomit. I'm watching them on the video monitor - DS#1 is banging his hands and feet against the mattress. DS#2 is rolling around, wailing.

What do I DO?

 

I am so sorry! That is so tough! Will they sleep in a swing or a bouncy? I know that is habit hard to break but sometimes you just got to do what ever it takes.
I hope they fall asleep soon-CIO is so hard, especially with those babies that WONT give up!

 

:hug99: Maybe you need to have a nap routine so they know that they are going to nap soon. Bottle, quiet time with some soft music, or read a book and cuddle in the nursery before you lay them down to nap. Consistency is key and it will take some time for them to understand the routine and anticipate nap time. I wish there was a quick and easy fix. Lots of :hug99:

 

Have you got into any sort of schedule? What time are you putting them down at night?

 

I know nothing about this sort of thing yet, as we'r just now toying with the idea of CIO...

But what about not giving in in teh morning? Since you're boys don't go down until late (9ish?) They probably shouldn't "start they're day" until about 9ish the next morning. So after the 6 AM feed, do CIO and don't get them until at least 9. They won't need to eat before then, and they'll learn to go back to sleep--then eventually they won't be overtired in the morning (it sounds like that might be one reason why they have a hard time napping).

Of course, you could put them down earlier in the eve if you need to start your day earlier....

Hugs to you and keep us updated... I'll be starting CIO soon too...

 

We've got a bedtime routine down pat. We can't seem to get them down earlier than 8:30, because I can't do it alone - nor can I fit in enough feeds without that last one being later. So DH is home by 7, we play with them a bit, wind down (baths, if it's bath night), bottles, held upright/rocked for 20-30 minutes (reflux babies), by which point they're asleep, and then they go down. We always start between 8 and 8:30, depending on how the afternoon went, and they're down by 9. We've tried earlier, and that just gets them up at 3 or 4 in the morning instead of 5. And then they still only sleep about an hour after if we feed them at 3 or 4, and then they're wanting UP.

I wish I could feed them at the same time. It would make getting a naptime routine down easier. But DS#2 needs a lot of head support and coaxing, and freaks out like a madman if I pull out the high chair. So naptimes consist of a feed (usually puncutated by the other kid screaming), a few minutes of rocking, and then down. It's only been in the past week I've been trying the crib - because of the reflux. But the swings and bouncers just aren't working anymore.

I may have to try the CIO in the morning though. They ARE overtired, which means they're not eating well, which means they don't sleep as well. It's a vicious cycle, I just can't seem to figure out how to break it. I've always been afraid to let DS#2 CIO, because he has weight gain issues, but in the long run, it's probably worthwhile.

Thanks for the support - it's so HARD, and my friends with singletons just don't GET why I'm having so much trouble juggling two different babies with different needs.

Meanwhile, they did eventually knock themselves out this time. I'm not sure HOW, and it took forever. But it happened. I don't know that I have it in me to try it again this afternoon though ... or what time that should even be. So complicated.

 

Cat--how old are your babies?

Mine (6 mo/4.5 adjusted) can NOT stay up more than 90-120 minutes at a time. So I always go off that, regardless of when our day starts. Once they're up for the day or a nap, I check the clock and put them back down usually within 90 minutes. Mine go down pretty easy, but it's the waking up during the night/"nap time" that I'll have to do CIO on...

Good luck this afternoon--be strong and consistent and they'll eventually get it (or so I'm told

 

:hug99: Sorry you are having a hard time with this. We have a shortened version of our bedtime routine for nap time, and that seemed to help us. I hope you get figured out what works for your little ones, soon.

 

We struggled with naps in our house for a quite a while and there are still some days that it is a battle!
What worked for us was doing a modified bedtime routine. We also try to time naps two hours after they wake up.

It is so difficult to hear them cry and freak out like that! I hope that they will get on the nap program soon!

 

Instead of rocking or giving them a bottle to go to sleep, do you think you could try putting them down at the first sign of sleepiness? I found that if an overtired baby fell asleep at the bottle, it was like a super-mini power snooze. They woke up quickly and wanted nothing to do with a real nap after that. When a baby is very tired just before bottle time I try to get a small nap in before the bottle. This messes up the schedule, but a well rested baby is much happier.
I like the idea of a nap routine too so they slowly figure out what is expected.

 

I am no expert at CIO. But the one thing that helps me when we're having sleep issues is HAVING A PLAN. My DH and I discuss it, agree what we're going to do and then we stick to it.

About a month ago, Daniel started waking up 4 or 5 times a night. For month prior to that he had only been up once a night for a quick bottle and then right back to bed.

So...we came up with the plan. We would let him cry/fuss until he was REALLY crying. Then we would go in every 15 minutes and rub his back. He would normally calm down and then we would leave. He would usually start up again but then stop. So since we both knew the plan and kept to it, after about a week he stopped and we're back to normal.

So...you need to decide the following:

1. When are they going to nap? Are you going to go by the clock...ie. 9 am, 1pm, 4pm, etc.? Or are you going to watch for sleepy signs? Or will it be 2 hours after waking?
2. What will be the naptime routine?
3. Will you soothe them to sleep or put them in their cribs awake?
3. How long will you let them CIO? Will you go in at intervals to console them or not?
4. If DS vomits, will you go in (I always do but some people don't)? Will you just clean him up and put him back to bed? or is he up to stay?
5. What will you do if they wake up too soon? How long should their naps be?

I'm not sure if this is much help...since I don't know what your answers to these questions should be. But I think you need to have a plan so you know what you're doing each day. I feel that if you have a plan and stick to it, then it WILL work!

I would say though that since you can't even transition them to the crib without waking up that they are going to have to learn to put themselves to sleep in their beds. You don't seem to have an option on that one.

Also, I have read that for naps, the max time for CIO is 1 hour. Now...what you do after that hour? I have no idea.

I hope that helps!
Good luck!
Cary