Nap Help and HSHHC

So, starting the new year off with a sleep question -- how typical of me!

For this morning's nap, I put my DS in his crib, he has toys and self soothers in the crib, but he doesn't self soothe well. He's been crying 20 minutes thus far. He's been up since 5:30 am this morning, put him down at 8:30, so it isn't as though he isn't tired. I just get so tired of all the crying. My HSHHC is packed away because of our house fire and I'm wondering if I am missing something. He howls horribly for his naps. DD in the same room is a good self soother, usually hangs out in her crib and then eventually falls asleep. I don't have video monitor so I don't know what is really going on in there and I'm not going to check it out.

So, after all that ramble...my main question is am I right to put them in there and just let them cry to sleep for this nap??? And then secondly, maybe I should separate them, not that that would change the crying at all as it is just my DS that is howling, but my DD might get a better nap.

Any thoughts???

Thanks in Advance

Sotto

(and Happy New Year)

 

We never separated them. They sleep through each other's cries, though I know lots of ladies on here have had a different experience. If your dd sleeps through his howling, I would leave them. As for his crying, I think it just takes time and consistency to get the hang of napping. We had lots of crying in the beginning, but now I can put them down and walk away. They'll get it!

Reyna

 

Sotto,

I sooo wish I could help you. I can only commiserate. I too, have a wailer. It absolutely breaks my heart into tiny tiny little pieces. Now that she can sit up she kneels in her crib and grabs onto the bars and sticks her little screaming, sobbing face through the bars staring at you through her sobs. I do have a video monitor and she proceeds to wail and throw her body around the crib like a fish flopping out of water. She screams and screams and screams. This has been going on for a bit now (she is 7.5 mos. old) and I thought she would learn back around 4 months when we started CIO ing her for naps. She is still going strong.

I have no idea what to say except that I know what it is like to try everything - putting them down at first sign of tiredness, trying to stretch their awake time so they are really tired, etc... - and not having anything make a difference.

I use music for my Lily but I am afraid to give her a lovey or something like that because I think she will just play with it. She is working on ripping apart the crib bumper pads as it is.
She won't take a paci.

Please Please Please hang in there. Only someone who has a pre-nap wailer can truly understand how terrible it is to listen to your baby scream three times a day, everyday, and not be able to help them. My Lily will not be rocked or held or anything. She either screams herself to sleep in her crib (usually only 10mn. luckily but still seems FOREVER) or screams downstairs while playing (because overtired) and then screams more upstairs. You get the picture, I am sure.

Hugs to you.
Amy

 

Sotto,

Like Amy, I wish I could wave my magic wand and fix this for you (and all the other moms with screamers). We've gotten into a nap routine here that usually works, so here are a few things that have helped me... in case they help you:

1. No toys or soothers at all in the crib for naps or bedtime. They tend to keep one of my daughters awake as she's having too much fun to sleep.

2. Put them down for the first nap of the day after 1.5 hours. Seriously. It seems like such a short time, but I've found that for that first nap, if I put them down much earlier than I would think they need, it really helps. If I miss the window and let them stay up for 2.5 or even 2 hours, they'll wail and fight sleep. Every other time during the day they're happy to stay awake 2.5 or 3 hours.

3. If one of my girls cries and cries inconsolably, I'll go in, pick her up, rock her for a minute or two until she burps (all that crying causes burps in my girls) and then put her right back. This is a tricky tactic because sometimes they'll see me and think it's playtime. Other times it's all they need and they'll go to sleep.

I have no idea if any of my "tips" will help you... I'm sure you've tried everything I've suggested before... so I'm sending hugs your way!

Good luck!

 

We aren't in the same stage as you, but one of the big things that I remeber reading in HSHHC is that the first nap needs to take place 1-1.5 hours after wake up (I think a previous poster said this as well), sounds counterintuitive, but it has really worked for my two.

 

QUOTE(Trishandthegirls @ Jan 1 2008, 11:11 AM) [snapback]552981[/snapback]
2. Put them down for the first nap of the day after 1.5 hours. Seriously. It seems like such a short time, but I've found that for that first nap, if I put them down much earlier than I would think they need, it really helps. If I miss the window and let them stay up for 2.5 or even 2 hours, they'll wail and fight sleep. Every other time during the day they're happy to stay awake 2.5 or 3 hours.



This is what I was going to say. With my two and with my older DS this was the key. In the morning I have to put them down within an hour or 1.5 hours max. Otherwise, they get over tired and that is the only time they scream anymore. With my older son and these two I have been able to skip the crying by putting them down earlier than I think is needed. This is consistent with what HSHHC says as well.

Best wishes!

 

My boys have been in separate rooms for naps since they were about 7 months old. It helps A LOT. We have a pack and play set up in the master bedroom for Evan.

I'd say that in this case your baby is overtired. If he was up at 5:30 this morning he likely didn't get a good 11 or 12 hours last night (unless you put him down at 5:30 p.m.?) and then he was up for three hours before his morning nap, which is a long time. I've been in your situation many times. The babies wake too early but I don't want to put them down for their morning nap before 9ish because then they'll be up early and it'll be too long between their morning and afternoon naps or I'll have to force a third nap, which is a nightmare. So all you can do is deal with crankiness and hope for the best. Can you possibly leave him for 30 or 60 minutes when he wakes up at 5:30 or is he starving? My James wakes early many mornings but I just leave him to talk to himself in a dark room for a while - it's not sleep but it's some form of "rest".

Another twin mom (on this site) gave me the 2/3/4 system and I love it, but it doesn't work perfectly with very early risers. That's 2 hours between first waking and the morning nap (I have to extend this when they wake up too early though), 3 hours between the end of the morning nap and the afternoon nap, and then four hours awake before bedtime. This system is best for babies older than 7 months.

HSHHC would tell you NOT to go and get your baby before 6 in the morning so he can learn to sleep in a little.

Also, do you do any kind of wind-down routine before naps? We always read books to the boys on our bed in a dim room, with them in their sleep sacs and sucking on their pacis for 10 minutes or so before naps. It helps them to settle down a bit and it tells their bodies that the next step is sleep.

 

QUOTE(mrsfussypants @ Jan 1 2008, 09:51 AM) [snapback]552909[/snapback]
We never separated them. They sleep through each other's cries, though I know lots of ladies on here have had a different experience. If your dd sleeps through his howling, I would leave them. As for his crying, I think it just takes time and consistency to get the hang of napping. We had lots of crying in the beginning, but now I can put them down and walk away. They'll get it!

Reyna



I am also deep into the nap dilemma, and wondering if my boys miss each other when I put them in separate rooms for naps. Also, so much crying!!! When did your children "get it?" I so need to know there is hope!!! Naomi

 

Mine have been napping separately since about 4 mo.

Agree with pps - try to put them down for naps earlier. Mine can still only go 1 hr - 1 hr 15 min from their morning wakeup to their first nap, MAYBE 1.5 hrs once in a rare while. (Which is fine, because their morning nap is when I get to have my COFFEE!!! :lol: ) And I'd generally be careful about the window of wakefulness throughout the day - mine are only just starting to go 2 hrs between naps without all **** breaking loose.

I think it's fair to do CIO at your babies' age if their needs are met and they're tired but not overtired...

Good luck! (And the book should have been called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy PARENTS"!)

 

Naomi, I'm almost scared to type this in case your babies are very young...I don't want to depress you. My boys started really getting the hang of naps (i.e. I could count on a decent one-hour nap most mornings and afternoons, and they were actually happy and rested as a result of their sleeps)...around 8.5/9 months. James still resists going down to sleep and I have to hold and pat him for a few minutes, but he does go down and then he "sleeps like a baby". Sleeps like a baby! Hilarious.

 

I haven't read the book...but my motto is "sleep begets sleep"... don't try to stretch out their awake times...it never works. Instead you almost have to put them down BEFORE they get too tired...at 8 months they should be doing at least 3 naps a day...although some babies will do 2 longer ones. I think you are doing a fine job doing what you need to do to help your baby nap better. Don't worry about the crying bothering the other one...mine never bothered each other with the crying.