Nap frustrations! 12 wk olds

Hi all, thanks for the input on my previous discussion about how to put down my twins for daytime naps.

I have been trying different things and now both my 12wk olds are fighting me really hard when i try to put them down. Im at my wits end and starting to cringe when nap time comes. i also feel like I cant do anything right.

I've stopped having them nap on us and trying to stop rocking them to sleep. This is what we were doing previously.

I've tried putting them down at varying wake times - 1 hr, 1 hr 15, 1 hr 20 and they still fight me.

For both of them, when they look sleepy or it has been enough wake time, I turn on white noise, turn off light, swaddle, hold and rock until they are drowsy, for a couple minutes. I put DS down in the swing. The first day he went to sleep no problems, which was earlier this week. He had some long naps. It has gotten worse and today when I start rocking him in my arms he cries and fights. Eventually he gets drowsy and I put him the swing and then he starts crying again. I have to rock him and get him tired again, then put him down and he does fall asleep. Today all his naps were only 30 min. A couple times I was able to pick him up when he woke and rock him back to sleep.

DD has been fighting naps for a few weeks now. Same pre nap routine. I try to rock her to drowsy in my arms and she just fights fights and cries. Eventually she gets drowsy and put her in the rock and play and usually have to still rock her in there. Sometimes she will fall asleep on her own after I get her drowsy or sometimes I have to rock her to sleep. She will sleep around 40 minutes but wake up crying and I have to rock her back to sleep.

I feel like all nap time is spend running back in forth between twins. I have them in separate rooms because I found their crying wakes each other.

Is this normal for twins to fight naps so much? I feel like if I am soothing them (rocking them) they shouldn't be fighting it. I've tried tweaking things in the nap routine with no luck. I hear of people that can just put their kids now in a crib and they will fall asleep - seems like so far away!

 

Sometimes the rocking can be over stimulating. I had one like that. No matter what she'd cry a bit before falling asleep. I guess it was her way if decompressing before sleep.

 

I agree, one of my twins also fusses for a few minutes before she falls asleep. If it's out and out crying I go to her as soon as she starts, but if it's just fussing I let her do it for a minute or two and if she's not calming down I go to her.

I know the feeling about dreading naptime!! (I don't dread naptime so much as bedtime but whatever.) I totally know the running back and forth between kids things too!! It sounds like you are doing all the right things though. I would keep it up for another week or so and see if they do better, and if not, then try to change things around again. The more consistent you are, the better. They will eventually get the message. :youcandoit:

 

We are having more trouble at naps too. They used to go down fairly well, but now they fight us and try to break out of their swaddles. We have been swaddling their arms in to prevent them from startling and waking themselves up, but they REALLY want their hands free. So it feels like a constant battle sometimes getting them to sleep. Maybe the blissful nap phase we had for a couple of weeks was an anomaly

Another problem Adira has is getting to sleep after I rock her. I'll hold and jiggle her while walking and that gets her pretty much to sleep. Then when I put her in the crib (as gently as I can!) she wakes up and looks all wide-eyed. When that happens I can sometimes get her to sleep by rocking her on her back in the crib, but it can take several tries.

Texgirl - the only advice I can think of is to see if they are tired when they've been up for less than an hour. Sometimes my girls are ready to sleep again after only 45 min, especially if their last nap was shorter than normal.

 

My babies were not very good nappers and we still have good and bad days. I felt like I wasn't doing anything right too but you know what? All babies are as different from each other as you and I. Just be consistent with what you are already doing and stick with it for at least a week before trying something else. And like PP I let my babies fuss a little before sleep and also when they woke from short naps, giving them a chance to go back on their own before going in. (I still do this).

Sleep cycles go in waves of 30, 40 or 45 mins so going in just before they wake and being ready to help them through, is a good idea (shushing and gently patting at the first stir). I started keeping a sleep log and this was great, not just for seeing each twins' awake time tolerance and the emerging routines which I could then tweak to synch them, but also giving me a feeling of pseudo-control especially on those days when you're going from baby to baby.. I could also identify their sleep cycle awakening from this too. I kept the log for quite a few months.

And even though during the worst times, I have and still do sometimes separate them, I do so only for a few days because I wanted them
to be able to sleep through each other's cries. And they do for the most part now.

I can't remember if your babies were early but around 3-4 months you should start seeing a morning nap develop, (around 9am) and as with any major changes to their routine, babies will give you a hard time just before, and then you will say to yourself, oh that's what you were trying to do!

Lastly don't be too hard on yourself! You are doing amazing. It is all a learning process, your babies will teach you as much you will teach them. Take care of yourself.