Nanny

DH insists I let our nanny go. She has become quite undependable. She is GREAT with our girls and does everything I want her to, so I just hate to let her go. On our initial meeting, we agreed that this would be a very flexible schedule. That was a big plus for us because DH works weekends mostly, but sometimes has to go out a week at a time. I work full time, so her job is basically to watch them when DH is out of town plus usually one day a week when he is in town because he is self-employed and needs to work some at home. In the last few weeks, she has shown up about 1/2 of the days she has been scheduled. It is one excuse after the other and it is always something that happens at the last minute. - her washer flooded her laundry room and garage - she forgot it was her kids birthday - the sewer was spewing in her front yard - she got the days of the dentist appt confused. Today she was supposed to be there at 9am and she e-mailed at 8:30 and says the court just called and she has to be at court at 10 with her foster child to testify, so she can't come today. My husband had an associate come from out of town to work with him today and now he is stuck with the girls and is furious. (he loves the girls, but you know how it is when plans don't come together) I don't blame him because I have been in the same situation when I had client meeting at work and ended up at home trying to juggle changing meetings etc. It just seems like she does not take the job very seriously. Even on days that she comes it is rare that she works an 8 hour day because she will have to leave for this, that, or the other, which usually involves her kids or her animals. So, here I thought I had myself a great scenario with a flexible nanny, but now I am starting to agree with DH that she is just not dependable enough. I just want to cry. I know that it is SO hard to fine a nanny, so I just don't want to have to start again.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

I know how hard it is to find a good nanny and it takes time, but I think you need to start looking. Either that, or have a serious talk with your current nanny and tell her how important it is to you that she comes on time and if this continues you'll have to let her go.

 

Wow. I agree with your DH.. you need to find someone reliable or have a really serious talk with her. How did she forget it was her kid's birthday? Thats strange. It is hard to find a person who is great with the kids and who is reliable, but they are out there. GL!

 

Its so hard to change and u have a certain comfort level with her now. But yes, you do need a new Nanny. Hope it goes well for you

amanda

 

What a nightmare!! I tend to agree with your DH that you need someone else. It's as if she doesn't take the job seriously enough. If it's this bad now, I can only think that it would get progressively worst (since she thinks she can get away with this stuff). So sorry you're going through this.

 

You definitely need to let her go, it will just get worse. I hope you are only paying her for the time she is actually working.

My first nanny got extremely unreliable in the end, that's why she's no longer our nanny.

 

I started with a new nanny yesterday… same thing, not very dependable (late 4 out of 5 days) but she LOVED my boys… I hope it all works out… it was very hard to change but so far (granted I have been with her only 2 days) she rocks!!! And seems to do things better… so every thing happens for a reason… maybe the PERFECT nanny is waiting for you… I had to do it before the boys got attached… my older DS was bummed, but it was a good work ethic lesson for him…

Elizabeth

 

QUOTE(Babies4Susan @ Jun 24 2008, 11:33 AM) [snapback]842955[/snapback]
You definitely need to let her go, it will just get worse. I hope you are only paying her for the time she is actually working.

My first nanny got extremely unreliable in the end, that's why she's no longer our nanny.


I pay her by the hour, so she is only getting paid when she works.

Another poster suggested I talk to her, but you can not really talk to someone about things that supposedly happen at the last minute. To her, those things are out of her control. I certainly realize there are things that happen out of ones control, but I just can not believe like today's case that a court will call you and tell you that you have to be there in less than 2 hours. I would be surprised if any court ran on a system where you call people the morning you need them to come to court - not likely. Anyway, DH says if I don't let her go that he will, so now I HAVE to find a new person.

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Jun 24 2008, 11:43 AM) [snapback]842965[/snapback]
I started with a new nanny yesterday… same thing, not very dependable (late 4 out of 5 days) but she LOVED my boys… I hope it all works out… it was very hard to change but so far (granted I have been with her only 2 days) she rocks!!! And seems to do things better… so every thing happens for a reason… maybe the PERFECT nanny is waiting for you… I had to do it before the boys got attached… my older DS was bummed, but it was a good work ethic lesson for him…

Elizabeth


This will help me get through the day - to know that you can let someone go that loves your kids. Your optimistic viewpoint is great and true. I sent DS to a daycare for 3 years that I thought was the greatest until they made some changes that made me decide to change daycares. Turns out that daycare was NOT the greatest and he was 10 times happier at the new one. So, I guess sometimes change is good.

Best of luck with your new nanny. (my DS actually does not like the nanny, so he will be jumping for joy at the news of replacing her)

 

Yeah change can be good sometimes. This could be a blessing in disguise. There is someone out there that will be perfect for you and your family.

 

You may need to inform her what she has been doing is a problem and that it may not work out if it continues. I only say this because other then that you are happy with her and finding someone you trust and takes great care of your children can be hard to find. She may have thought that since the schedule was flexible that you and dh's could be too...if it continues you will have to find someone more reliable. Good luck, sorry this is happening to you...trust me I KNOW!

 

Get rid of her A%$!!! She's not dependable!!!! I'm sure you can find someone else! At least I hope you do!!
Good-luck, I know, the trust thing is hard. I just let my night nanny go. The girls are 3 months and are walking up
1 at night usually. She just sits around or sleeps in between all of that, so I feel like all that $$$$$ is being wasted-
I feel ya!!

Tina

 

I agree with pp's -- you should start looking for a new nanny. You need someone reliable or your life is going to just get more and more stressful.... I hope you find someone who you can trust and who loves your kids, too!

 

Reminds me of that book I read when I was single "He's Just Not That Into You"...I think she's making herself clear and "She's Just Not That Into This Job", but sends the confusing signals by being so great with the kiddies when she is there. Sorry for the struggle. Ditch her and find the one who adores them AND shows up.

 

Sounds like she would ALWAYS have excuses... even if you talk to her about her unreliability. Who forgets their child's birthday? I would start looking now and get a new nanny. :hug99: You are right, a good nanny is hard to find.

 

Just wanted to give an update because we have found a wonderful new nanny. She has been with us for a week now and doing fabulous. I let the other one go on good terms just telling her that her personal responsibilities were not fitting with our families needs.

DS LOVES the new nanny. That is so important!!! She reads to him and does all the things he loves PLUS takes good care of my babies. I so blessed and so thankful.

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement.

 

QUOTE(Jentwinmom @ Jul 22 2008, 09:06 AM) [snapback]888958[/snapback]
Just wanted to give an update because we have found a wonderful new nanny. She has been with us for a week now and doing fabulous. I let the other one go on good terms just telling her that her personal responsibilities were not fitting with our families needs.

DS LOVES the new nanny. That is so important!!! She reads to him and does all the things he loves PLUS takes good care of my babies. I so blessed and so thankful.

Thanks to everyone for your encouragement.

So glad to hear it... my new one is working out perfect too (everything happen for a reason)... i would even say she is too good to be true, but she informed me of a 3 m leave of absence she has to take from mid Nov-first week of Feb... she hasn’t seen her family in 13 yrs (since she was 14 )

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Jul 22 2008, 10:34 AM) [snapback]889001[/snapback]
So glad to hear it... my new one is working out perfect too (everything happen for a reason)... i would even say she is too good to be true, but she informed me of a 3 m leave of absence she has to take from mid Nov-first week of Feb... she hasn’t seen her family in 13 yrs (since she was 14 )



Oh dear - I am sorry to hear that she is going on an extended leave. At least she did give you plenty of notice. I hope you work something out. This nanny thing causes serious stress, doesn't it?

 

I am glad your new nanny is great for your family. It is nice to know you have someone good looking after your kids while you are away from them.

 

didn't read the replies, but wanted to say this is why we let our nanny go, too. she became unpredictable every other week, though--like one week it'd be fine, and the next week without fail she'd miss a day. she had been with us since the day the babies came home, and her last day was 4 days before they turned 1. she said she would go to their birthday party and didn't. i talked to her recently and she said she would visit, but didn't show up. i feel so bad, and didn't want the babies to miss her, but i'm sure they pretty much wouldn't recognize her now.

finding someone new is tough, but in the long run, your life will be more stable and you'll be better off...

 

Congrats on finding a new nanny!