Nanny VS Daycare

My boys are past age 2 and have been staying home with a nanny. Despite the benefits of having a full time nanny at home:

1) nanny cooks, feeds the boys and gives bath
2) does the boys' laundry every two days
3) takes the boys to the park at least 3 times a week

When I get home around 6pm, I play with the boys for one hours then I put them down for the day. I start cooking for DH and I at 7pm. On the weekend, I clean the house, cook and shop for groceries and DH helps to play with the boys. On Sunday, we usually take the boys out to the park or the zoo. This arrangement is fine until now that I found some major things are missing:

1) boys speech delay, only talk few words by age 2, the nanny doesn't like to talk to the boys
2) lack of discipline/manner, the nanny doesn't believe in time out or she is too tired to follow through
3) long TV time vs. structured play time, hard to control how much TV time or play time at home, after all, there is nothing but to trust the nanny what she is told to do.

Does anyone have experience with having nanny/caregiver at younger age and going to daycare later on? If daycare is a better solution to solve the above problems? I am debating if I should wait for next Fall for the preschool or send the boys to Daycare for one year. I just wish I could win the Lotto so I can quit my job. Thanks for listening.

 

My vote is - get a new nanny! You pay good money for her to play, interact with, and talk to your boys. If she's too tired or not performing well, get a new one! There are lots of good nannies out there. We have a fabulous one who watches them at our home while we are working. She plays with them endlessly, talks to them all day long, does "educational activities" to teach them things, and does not let them watch any TV. Nannies are expensive! You should be getting what you pay for - if she isn't doing a good job, you might want to consider looking around for a new one to see what else is out there before going to daycare. We pulled ours out of daycare at 5 months old and we won't be back!

 

I agree, it doesn't sound like a nanny vs. daycare problem; it sounds like a nanny problem! I think that any nanny you hire should be following your rules about discipline, tv, etc., and should be expected to do the ordinary fun/educational/play things you'd do it you were home with them. Sorry, a nanny who doesn't like talking to the children? Doesn't seem like she should be a nanny, then! So I say, get a new nanny! That is a total load of BS if you ask me.

 

"the nanny doesn't like to talk to the boys"

This statement kind of made me worry alittle. It does sound to me like you might need a new nanny. Although I think daycare is not a bad option. Mine are in daycare and seem to enjoy themselves. They learned peek a boo (and I've never taught them that). I was singing Itsy Bitsy Spider and all of a sudden Caden was doing the hand gestures (again, I never taught him this) and they both do the Chicken Dance. This is all stuff they have learned at daycare. Which I think is pretty cool. But then again, a good nanny would also teach this.
There are bads that come with daycare, they learn to hit, they fight, when they get sick, you have to take off. But then again, all of that will come sooner or later when they start school unless you plan to homeschool. It's really a toss-up. Finding a good nanny seems really hard to me, especially one that you trust your kid's lives with and with daycare facilities they are atleast governed by the state and have inspections and such. The key is finding one you are comfortable with. I happen to love my daycare and the teachers. Like I said, they learn so much that I don't even think about teaching them.

 

i would def. get a new nanny! your are paying good money. I could do all the things she is doing as well as do my own, Im sure you could easily find a new nanny that would love to take your kids and at least talk to them!

 

Get a new nanny!
Your kids your rules. If shes too lazy or tired to follow with discipline then you have a great reason to get rid of her. If she dones't talk to them..fire her hiney now. Check out daycare prices. See what benefits them more. Other kids around could help with the speech.

Make sure you let her know 'if' you get rid of her this is not something you would offer a reference for , for further employment. Shes a housekeeper not a child care worker.

 

Dittoe the PPs. Get a new nanny.

I have had a nanny for my girls since they were 3 months old. I work part time and she is with them the three days that I work. She is awesome and my girls love her. She certainly talks to them, plays with them, teaches them, reads to them. My nanny and I periodically discuss discipline issues (such as what constitutes a "no no" and what forms of discipline should be administered), and also how much TV time is allowed etc. so that we are always consistent with the girls. She will always willingly do things the way that I wish to have them done. If you find a good nanny, you shouldn't have issues.

If you are worried about what's going on behind closed doors, consider investing in a nanny camera. They are available at fairly inexpensive prices, and can certainly offer a lot of security. You don't have to look at it all the time, but at least you'd have an idea of how your kiddoes are doing when you're not around. Once you're comfortable with your nanny, you'll find that you don't feel the NEED to look at the camera anymore!

 

Honestly, I'd find a new nanny. The nanny should be working in the rules that you set. Reading time, play time, TV time per day should be defined by you. Discipline is your call. My nanny happens to also be DH's niece, but she does things the way we ask her to do them.

And the fact that your nanny doesn't like to talk to children is a huge red flag. A nanny should absolutely love to talk to children! That's their job.

I plan on keeping a nanny until I send the girls to preschool at age 3, and then I may stick with the PT nanny or go with PT daycare, I'm undecided at this point in time.

 

I have a full time nanny, but I always planned to move my girls to preschool as soon as they were old enough, so they're starting this summer at 2-1/2. I know the full-time days will be long for them, but I think they're going to thrive in the more structured environment and learn a lot. I have the greatest nanny on earth (she talks to the twins constantly in two languages, so they are bi-lingual; they go on outings, she's taught them to say please & thank you, etc.), and it will be hard suddenly having to take care of all the chores she does, but I know that it's time and that the girls are going to love learning and being with other kids all day.

Good luck whatever you choose, but I agree with all the previous posters that if you decide to stay with nanny care, you need someone who enriches your children.

Best wishes,
Mia

 

I agree that the problems you mentioned are not Nanny VS Daycare problems, but nanny problems and a different Nanny might be right for you. I had the first year off work, and went back when the girls turned 1. We use a Nanny-Daycare combination that has worked great for us, but largely for economic reasons-I get free day care, but it doesn't cover all the hours I work, so they go to daycare part time and then are with the Nanny the rest of the day. They enjoy daycare and I think there are many benefits of group play, structured program, our day care started doing weekly units with them at 18 months. And big toys we couldn't afford to have/have space for at home. Our nanny is also a housekeeper, she does the housekeeping while the girls are at daycare and spends all the time they are home with her interacting with them.

Some things for you to think about, If you switched to daycare, what would your evenings be like? Would they have had dinner at daycare? How much is daycare for two going to cost versus a nanny? is part time daycare part time nanny an option? What do you think your childrens day should be like? Can a nanny provide that? (A different nanny than you have now?) Can you buy some books or print out activities from the internet so the nanny can do more structured activities with the boys? Would you be interested in even going further and planning a day for them hour by hour for the Nanny to follow?
It could even be that your current Nanny would respond well to more specific instructions on your part.

 

Ditto on what everyone else has said about if you are going to keep a nanny, you'll probably need a new one. Your relationship with this Nanny could possibly be saved, if you are comfortable instituting some major changes. I think structuring the day for her and seeing how everyone does woudl be great!

I think daycares can be a good thing, if it's a good daycare and you are comfortable. Right now, my 3 kids go to my SIL while I work outside the home. It's really all I can afford. If I could afford for them to go into a real daycare, I'd probably give it a shot. Structure & socialization would be great for my kids. They don't get that at my SIL at all. I can't change my circumstance right now.

Try to weigh the pros and cons and see what ya come up with. If you love your Nanny and all she does, try to talk to her and incorporate some changes. I am kind of hoping that I read your statement wrong about her not talking to the children. That's HUGE..if she really doesn't talk to the children...well, I just can't imagine that!

 

I love our daycare and I think it offers our girls many things that would be much harder for a nanny to do -- but I agree with the PPs, the specific things you listed sound more like a problem with your nanny than with nannies in general.

 

Thanks for all the replies! I just put the boys on the Daycare waiting list for a decent school nearby my work. If we are lucky, the boys might get in this Sept. Usually the wait list runs from 9-12 months. In the meanwhile, I will talk to the nanny and ask her to play/talk more to the boys. Hopefully the boys can get in the Daycare in September. It is really hard for me to get a good nanny here. This is one is #4 when the boys were only 3 months old. When they know we have twins, the nannies either ask for a lot of money or they are not capable to handle. I really appreciate your input now that I am certain we need to move to Daycare.

 

I vote new nanny... there are many out there with early childhood backgrounds etc... it might take some searching but find a good one. As far as daycare, my opinion is that they are going to be in a school or school like setting from K until COLLEGE we hope and they still need time at home to play and just be kids. I know they get that in daycare too, but if you can afford a nanny, just find one that DOES do what you want.

 

I changed the boys from a live in nanny to a service when they were 2.5. I have not regretted it. It felt so good having my house back! With the money that I saved, I hired a housekeeper. I enjoyed some of the benefits of a nanny but they boys have really taken off now that they are in day care. They have tons of friends and get to do great group activities like gymnastics and dance and parties and games. The fun that they are having makes me excited for them and they come home wanting to do things with me.
Plus~every once in a while, I take half a day off and go home by myself! :banana: I take a long bath, scrapbook, watch a mom movie, give myself a facial, do my toe nails. AHA and at no extra cost and stress free! I mosey over to the school to pick up my little sunshines and I am so glad to see them.
Be careful who you pick(school or nanny) and you will be pleased to have your space back at home.
As for home care being better~if you did it yourself yes~it absolutely is IF YOU CAN stay home with your own kids! A fill-in "NOT THE MOMMA" is never going to replace you, whether she does it in your home or in a school.

 

Yep, I agree. You need someone new. I am glad we have done in-home child care. For me it'd be a huge hassle to drag the girls out to daycare in the morning. And the things I hear about them getting sick all the time from the other kids. We've had good luck with our nannies/au pairs. We are going to do one more year with an au pair (that's a live-in from another country) before switching to full-time preschool at age four (that's the plan, I'm not necessarily sticking to it!)

Anyway, I have to say, I was hesitant to get an au pair at first, but now that we're in the program, these girls are generally super-smart and energetic, and love kids. My current au pair is so fantastic with the girls, truly gifted as an early childhood educator. But in general I see that these girls give it their all when it comes to forming good educational relationships with their kids. I highly endorse the program.

That being said, live-in may not be for you. But there are definitely good people out there, we've interviewed all types and used to have a "regular" nanny who rocked (but got sick, now she works across the street and we see her all the time). I think all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry in the world doesn't make up for someone who interacts and engages your children. Back to my au pair, she's about 60% good with house stuff (still doesn't know where to put the dishes away correctly a year later!) but she's 100% awesome when it comes to her interactions with the girls! And that's what matters!