Naming one twin after dad? (two boys)

My husband is a 4th (i.e. Louis Joe Smith IV) *His first name really is Louis but i made up the middle and last name. I always knew if we had a son, he would be a fifth. So now that we are having identical boys, he still wants the first one to be a 5th. He is adamant. I think its a bad idea. So what are we going to name the other son? I need honest opinions.

 

As long as there is a family name to name him(after your father, brother, uncle etc) I would be okay with it but not just a random name paired with it. As a whole I'm against jrs as it cause horrible legal problems.

 

WELL ONE IDEA WOULD BE TO NAME ONE LOUIS AND ONE JOE.

iF HE INSISTS ON LOUIS JOE SMITH v YOU COULD NAME THE OTHER BOY JOE LOUIS SMITH. I T IS KINDA WEIRD YES BUT IT SEEMS WRONG WITH ID TWIN BOYS TO NAME ONE AFTER THE DAD AND NOT HAVE THE OTHER SHARE IN THE NAME. tHAT IS WHY I WOULD GO FOR LOUIS FOR ONE AND JOE FOR THE OTHER PERSONALLY

 

Yea we've gotten alot of suggestions to name one the first name and the other the middle name. I agree, it does seem strange to name one a 'random' name.

And i agree about the legal stuff. I'm glad i'm not the only one that sees a problem with this. My husband has had all sorts of credit problems because of his name getting mixed up with his fathers. I don't want that for my sons.

I am considering just putting my foot down, i really dont think it is a good idea. I do understand the desire for a namesake. But circumstances don't always allow...he wouldve been out of luck if we had girls and since we have two boys, it may not happen.

 

I would not be comfortable doing it. I feel like because the one boy would have the same name, the family could favor that twin more. It's a huge worry for me that family will favor one of the girls already and throwing a family name in there would make things more complicated. I would 100% refuse.

 

Honest opinion - no way would I give one twin the 5th and the other left out. The non-5th twin would always feel left out. The comparisons among twins and later sibling rivalry/competition can be so intense. Why set your kids up for that?

Disclaimer: I dislike jr, III, etc to begin with, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

Personally I wouldnt do it, for the same reasons as listed above. What I would do though, is choose 2 names you both like, and give your husbands first name as a middle name to twin A and your husband middle name to be twins B's middle name. That way they are BOTH named after their father, but also have their own first names.

 

That is a tough one. If your DH is dead set for the name, I'd name A after daddy and B after both males in your family. That way you can play up the specialness of B's link to your family and A's link to DH's family.

I'd keep pulling neither baby to be named after him, though, for reasons other posters mentioned.

 

I have 3 sons. The oldest is a jr. Neither of the other 2 have ever expressed any feelings of not being named after their dad - nor would they care to be - their names are their names. I do not see any problem with it. I think it would be ashame to break the tradition.

If I were you, I would name baby A after your husband and name baby B a name that is special to you maybe after a grandfather OR just a name that you love.

 

I don't think I would.

Like a PP mentioned, maybe ________ Joe Smith and ___________ Louis Smith.

I understand the tradition and it makes sense (somewhat) for the first born son, if that is something a family likes. But when you are talking about ID twins, does a minute really count as "older" or "first born"?

I'm not crazy about Jr.'s anyway, but in twins it just seems to be problematic.

Good luck!

 

I am married to a "Jr" and tried hard to produce another "Jr..." Had 4 daughters...

But I am suprised by those who refer to legal problems. My DH and FIL have only ever worked it to their advantage. FIL has a business and DH can sign stuff for him. DH is a contractor and FIL can use his certification. It works out great for us. Yes, some businesses bill us for FIL and FIL for us, but we just pass the bill and joke about it. I guess if anyone didn't pay the bill it would be a problem, but FIL's discover card has been on our credit for years. He pays it so we don't care.

I guess it depends on your "Sr"???

And had the twins been boys, yes baby A would have been a "JR" and baby B would have had one of my male family names.

 

Wow, what thoughtful responses. I really appreciate the honesty. I did not even think about the fact that Twin A might be favored more by dads side of the family. He would be "little louis" literally. Thats what the family calls my husband.

And I do understand that this could totally be a positive thing in some families, particularly when father and son are close. My hubby does not have a close relationship with his own dad. Our 2-year old has never even met her paternal granddad. I would never admit this to my hubby, but I don't see the strong family bond.

 

If there is not a strong family bond - I would not do it unless I just loved the name. My dh and his dad and brother all have the same middle name - a name I do not like!! I named ds#1 jr because of the family bond but refused to give all of my boys the middle name I am not crazy about - I do not regret it at all. Dh's family is not the kind that would ever favor one kid over the other no matter what their names were - but if you could see that happening that is another strike against using the name. Naming kids is not easy!

 

No matter what, I think you should both agree on SOMETHING and I think it's pretty clear you DON'T want a jr! Maybe it's time to just buck the tradition and name them their own names- use the "it's twins" excuse and you couldn't single one of them out! FWIW, DH's middle name has been in his family for generations, as his dad's, grandad's and great grandad's first name. However, MIL and I both aren't fans so that's why it's DH's middle name not his first! But like others have suggested, we used DH's first and middle names as our boys' middle names. Now if this third one is a boy, I think he'll just have his own name no matter what-- I don't know that there's any other family names that I'd want to use!! (of course, hopefully we'll just luck out and we'll get that little princess we're hoping for and it won't be an issue!)

 

I think both little men should have their own unique names!
but if its traditional and must be done, it is just a name and he will grow up to be who is is going to be with or without the name

 

One of my boys has my grandfather's name and the other just has a name. As for favouritism, it might have happened with my grandmother, but she suffered from dementia and never really understood who was who. When she first saw the babies though she made a big fuss out of the one with her late husband's name. What also helps with us is we use the long name (William) and my grandfather used the nickname (Bill).
The boys are also fraternal - not sure if that makes a difference.
Could you use the legal name to keep the family peace and come up with a unique nickname to give your son a more independent identity?

 

Personally, I think people make way to big of a deal when it comes to naming twins and read way to much into it. They are still two separate individuals, identical or not and I feel some people forget that. My father is one of five boys and is an identical twin, who is named after his father and is a junior. He was the first born. His name is Edward and his twin brother is William. It was NEVER an issue. And his twin was not named after a family name. Think about it, what would be the difference if you had two sons, not twins, and named the first born after hubby and the second son just a name you and hubby liked? There is no difference in my opinion. Good luck with your decision.

 

i agree with PP that if it's something you would do if the boys had been born separately than you should go ahead & do it even though they're twins. on the other hand, i'm not a huge fan of family names being handed down as first names - i like the idea of everyone having their own first name. ardon: i do like the idea of family names being used as middle names though (my girls each have a grandmother's or a variation of a grandmother's first name as their middle name). DH's & BIL's middle names are each of their respective grandfather's names. and if we ever have a boy we'll incorporate his grandfather(s) name as well, i think.

 

Um...those things are going to cause you legal problems. You can't forge signatures and pretend to be someone with a certification just because you share a name. The certification thing really concerns me. That's not the area of law I practice, but you could be in the realm of a criminal offense there.

 

I brought it up to DH and he is adamant about having Baby A named after him. So its a done deal whether I like it or not. He does not mind if we call him by a nickname, which is what we will probably do. Its very comforting to hear that "twin names" are optional lol. I was so wrapped in the fact that I would miss out on the option of twin names that I haven't even considered whether its something I would even do. I'm going to give Baby B a totally unrelated name that i LOVE :woohoo:

I appreciate everyone's honest opinions, I can't tell you how helpful these opinions have been, especially coming from other twin moms.

 

Ditto this exactly. It seems really unfair to me with multiples. I think middle names are a great place to do family names; I'm a fan of giving people their own identity with first names. (After all, the point of names is to identify who you're talking about so if two people in the same house have the exact same name, it kind of defeats the purpose. )