Name drama w/ DH

Any insight?

I’m having name drama with DH… we haven’t found out the sex yet (we hopefully will on tue) so this may be moot, and we have a while to go… but I see a rocky road ahead…
When we had our son, he wanted to name him Matthew… he had always liked that name… I knew too many Matthews… my best friend in high school dated 4 different Matthews during her “career”… the day my son was born, 3 boys were born… the other 2… Matthew… so I convinced him to give Matthew as the middle name (with the help of the nurses)… but that was only because it was common… NOW I have always liked the name Seth… even in Jr. high school… I never knew anyone named it (I had read it in a book) I just loved it, and when I was pregnant with my first son my husband said NO (because he remember a smelly guy he didn’t like in college had that name). Since then my other best friend in high school has just married a wonderful guy… and his name is Seth… So now my husband knows someone he really likes named it… well when I found out I was pregnant with identical… I thought great we wont have any drama… he can name one and I will name one and we will draw baby A and B out of a hat to see who gets what… I like the 2 names he’s come up with (one more then the other… but I’m willing to compromise) but every time I bring up Seth… he just says no, well come up with something better… and I don’t know why… maybe its my hormones... but I’m like “heck no we wont…” everyone I know likes that name… even MIL and my mom… anyone have any insight… I honestly had slight resentment on naming my oldest son… since I compromised and made Matthew his middle name my DH’s second choice became his first name… no name I wanted or entertained made it as one of his names… I wanted my maiden name as his middle name… NO! I liked, Seth… no, knew a fat guy… I like Jacob… no, can’t get over Jacobs ladder… ARE YOU KIDDING ME… so I don’t want that again and I find myself with a kiss my a** attitude… you can name one and I will name the other…

Okay if I’m being a crazy pregnant lady… you can tell me… I just don’t want to feel jilted again… and have always LOVED that name… I also feel bad having this attitude about it because he is the most wonderful husband…thanks for the vent

 

No you are not being a crazy pregnant lady. If he wants you to entertain the idea of using the names he likes, he should do the same for you. Maybe it is to the point where the names both of you are looking at now, should be decided against and new names all together should be looked at. Or maybe wait until you find out if the babies are boys or girls, if they are two girls, well Seth won't be an issue.

http://www.babynamesworld.com/ We used this site for names. I signed up for a free account, and so did my hubby. We were able to add names we liked to a list you can keep there. Once we did that, we compared lists and went through and found all the ones that matched, then took those and talked over them. Made it much easier.


Good luck


Dianna

 

before we knew it was twins.. i picked out a boys name and dh picked a girls name. I had to talk him into Ethan.. he said it sounded like a sissy name... The funny thing is that Ethan means strong... Any how we both got the names that we liked.. end of story.. we also honored both sides of the family.. morgan got my maiden name as a middle name and ethan got daddys first name as a middle name..

i love the name Seth.. there was this really hot guy named seth :wub: ... that i was seeing on and off for a while before dh and before 1st dd was born...

anyhow... you will come up with the right names.. even if you need to convince dh about one (or 2)

 

QUOTE(Dianna @ Nov 23 2007, 10:28 AM) [snapback]506286[/snapback]
No you are not being a crazy pregnant lady. If he wants you to entertain the idea of using the names he likes, he should do the same for you. Maybe it is to the point where the names both of you are looking at now, should be decided against and new names all together should be looked at. Or maybe wait until you find out if the babies are boys or girls, if they are two girls, well Seth won't be an issue.

http://www.babynamesworld.com/ We used this site for names. I signed up for a free account, and so did my hubby. We were able to add names we liked to a list you can keep there. Once we did that, we compared lists and went through and found all the ones that matched, then took those and talked over them. Made it much easier.
Good luck
Dianna


Thank you… I decided not to put my boxing gloves on until we know the sex… I have a feeling its boys (so does everyone else) but its true, it may be moot… thanks for the site… we will defiantly need it if its girls, we both cant even think of one name… well my sweet talking husband said the only girl name I like is Elizabeth (my name) ohhhh he’s smooth….

 

QUOTE(AshleyLD @ Nov 23 2007, 11:32 AM) [snapback]506322[/snapback]
before we knew it was twins.. i picked out a boys name and dh picked a girls name. I had to talk him into Ethan.. he said it sounded like a sissy name... The funny thing is that Ethan means strong... Any how we both got the names that we liked.. end of story.. we also honored both sides of the family.. morgan got my maiden name as a middle name and ethan got daddys first name as a middle name..

i love the name Seth.. there was this really hot guy named seth :wub: ... that i was seeing on and off for a while before dh and before 1st dd was born...

anyhow... you will come up with the right names.. even if you need to convince dh about one (or 2)


Ethan and Nathan are his names… I like Ethan… Nathan I like ok… I would name one that but Ethan I like better…. He doesn’t want both (he thinks they sound to similar and wants to stay away from that). But these are his suggestions to REPLACE Seth…GRRRRRR

 

You're not crazy. Names are important. I think you're right that each of you gets to name a baby. That's basically what we are doing because of what happened with my 2nd daughter. Our story is that at 9pm the night before our 5am induction my husband told me that he hated both the girl names I picked out, but that it didn't matter because we were having a boy. Well since we weren't positive of the sex, I told him that he cursed me and that he had 6 months to tell me he didn't like the names. Needless to say we had a girl and spent the entire time in the hospital obsessing trying to come up with a name we could live with. In the end, I gave in to his name 10 minutes before the naming registry place closed on our last day in the hospital.

This time around we are working hard to come up with names before the children are born. I don't want a repeat of last time, it was too stressful--so we get one a piece (another nice thing about having twins).

Good luck--I hope you get everything sorted,
Fiona

 

Ohhhh, I'm going through a name dilemma at the moment too. I'm a teacher and can't separate some of the names dh chooses with children I've taught! It's just impossible, and at the rate I'm going we'll end up calling them "A" and "B". :wacko:

Good luck with trying to convince hubby!

 

i think it is totally fair to get to name a bub each.

i like ethan (have it as ds middle name, was going to be a first name but we flipped a coin when he came out to see if he was an ethan jake or a jake ethan)

and i also think seth would be a good match if you had two boys.

Maybe try him with you pick one i'll pick one, and you can name the first born and i'll name sec born twin...he might think he's pretty important then and not giving in as much.

also you could try to take the focus off the boy thing and start throwing around some girls names.

i think it would be best to have some solid names picked out that you both agree on, even if it comes down to the birth when you decided which ones it will be. if you have a short list of definates it might make it easier.

go for it , i don't think you should have to compromise again, esp not when there are two babies.

what does noah think? Maybe noah could help pick some middle names for your choices, which might encourage dh to realise that the naming of your twins is a family decission, not just his.

good luck and i hope you get the seth you always wanted.

 

me and DH never agree on names- he named our 2 boys and i said ok -but i wanted dif names-thier middle names now-i said well if we had/have any girls its all me :lol:

 

My dh is always "veto" guy when it comes to naming our kids...I make up the list and he scratches them off, but hardly ever makes decent contributions....he has always loved the name "Nina" for a girl...but I don't consider that a decent contribution!! LOL! So I understand your frustration. On the other hand I don't think it's a good idea for you to just pick one name and him the other...I think you need to come to some kind of agreement. Maybe you should put the ball in his court and get him to suggest names that YOU like...and until he can find one that you really like then Seth stays on the short list. But I really don't think it's a good idea to force your dh, or for him to force you to go with a name he/you really don't like. I mean he's going to have to call his child this name for the rest of his life. Well, maybe you will have girls!!

 

QUOTE(natasha163 @ Nov 23 2007, 06:09 PM) [snapback]506567[/snapback]
what does noah think? Maybe noah could help pick some middle names for your choices, which might encourage dh to realise that the naming of your twins is a family decission, not just his.

good luck and i hope you get the seth you always wanted.

Thanks everyone… at least I know its not hormones… maybe I can get it to grow on him… and maybe it will be moot…

Noah LOVES the name Seth… but he tends to take my side when ever it comes to decision breakers ardon: ….

 

QUOTE(Lynie @ Nov 23 2007, 01:57 PM) [snapback]506402[/snapback]
I'm a teacher and can't separate some of the names dh chooses with children I've taught! It's just impossible, and at the rate I'm going we'll end up calling them "A" and "B". :wacko:

THAT would be hard… some names I just really liked as a kid have been ruined… because of my sons class mates… and some kids are down right… well I don’t want to say anything negative about a child so I wont… couldn’t imagine what years of teaching would do to contaminate your thoughts… I have a friend whose husband had so many “conquests” that any name she came up for their daughter with was some ex girlfriend (or… you know…) well they ended up making up a name… it was a combination of their two names… but when they went on to girl 2 & 3 she just didn’t care anymore… and picked names she liked…

 

QUOTE(Susanna+3 @ Nov 23 2007, 08:20 PM) [snapback]506680[/snapback]
My dh is always "veto" guy when it comes to naming our kids...I make up the list and he scratches them off, but hardly ever makes decent contributions

This was my case the first go round and the case this go round until about 2 weeks ago when I pointed it out that he Mr veto… and basically laid down that Seth was going to be one of their names…then I think he started thinking only to replace my name of chose… I’m not sure which is worse now???

 

QUOTE(2+2more! @ Nov 23 2007, 08:13 PM) [snapback]506666[/snapback]
me and DH never agree on names- he named our 2 boys and i said ok -but i wanted dif names-thier middle names now-i said well if we had/have any girls its all me :lol:

i had a friend who made a deal w/ her DH that if it was a girl she gets to name it (as she was sure it was a girl) and if it was a boy he could name it... well it turned out to be a boy and to this day she feels her sons name doesnt fit him...

 

QUOTE(oneoneandtwo @ Nov 23 2007, 12:06 PM) [snapback]506340[/snapback]
You're not crazy. Names are important. I think you're right that each of you gets to name a baby.

This time around we are working hard to come up with names before the children are born. I don't want a repeat of last time, it was too stressful--so we get one a piece (another nice thing about having twins).

It was funny because the first thought that came to my mind while i was sitting on the table being told i was prego with ID twins was... good atleast we wont have any name fights like we did the first go round.... GRRRR

 

We have been discussing names for a long time. If one person doesn't like a name, it is out. We have quite a few that we agree on. We bought a name book and would mention one we really liked and then see what the other thought. It is a hard process. There have been several that I really love that DH didn't and probably vice versa. It is not right for one person to like the name and the other not to and then have one be stuck being resentful. It is hard though when you really love a name and your DH doesn't. I too, really love the name Seth but my DH doesn't. We came up with other names that we both love. Try to have fun with it and make an adventure.

 

At least I know I am not the only one! You should hear some of the names my DH has come up with! I don't even know where to begin! Men can be such a P.I.T.B.! I really liked the fact that with my last marriage, I got to basically name my children. My ex was great about agreeing with whatever name I picked out. My only compromise was with my son... I wanted to name him Kyle Bryant, but he wanted his middle name to be his first name. With Emily, I got to choose all of it as I had her by myself (we were already seperated and living in different states!) I guess the biggest problem is that my DH and I are both totally stubborn and like to be in control... must be sibbling order? (both 1st borns) Well, good luck sounds like we all need to stand firm and let them know that we get to have as much say in our children's names as they do! Go for it... I like the name Seth.

 

You are not being crazy. Stick to the name you want and hopefully it will grow on him. My dh was not giving up on my sons name (Seamus) and after hearing it for a long time, I ended up liking it and now love it. I did end up deciding my others sons name. Seamus is named after dh's dad and Nicholas is a version of my dads.

 

I also say stick to the name you want. If you have an agreement that you each get to pick the names for one of the babies then he should respect your choice the same as you should respect his choice.

On a side note, the boys names were Evan and Seth for the majority of my pregnancy. I picked the name Evan because I really loved it. Seth was my husband's choice. He decided to change his pick to Cameron two weeks before I had them. I tried to convince him to keep it as I liked that name as well and thought they sounded better together, but to no avail.

Good luck!

 

I had to talk DH into Jacob. He was fine with Jacob, but hated Jake. So we've never shortened it. Only my grandma gets away with calling him Jake (it was her father's name). So since I got to name Baby A, I pretty much gave him free reign with Baby B - but with veto authority. He presented Aaron Matthew to me and that was that. I loved it.

Name one each with veto authority ONLY for names you can't stand.

 

We were had Gwendolyn and Charlotte as our set of working names for the girls. The problem was that I didn't care too much for Gwendolyn and he wasn't keen on Charlotte. We finally decided that both girls needed names that WE BOTH could live with and started over. Olivia was a name we had thrown out as a girl name before we found out there were 2 babies. Josephine was my mom's middle name. So they became Olivia and Josephine. And we flipped a coin to determine which baby would get what name.