My one twin is OFF THE CHARTS --poor behaviour

My daughter is 2 yrs 4 months old. She is WILD beyond belief. She is intelligent and seems to really understand most of what I tell her just has that 2 yr old short sighted / strong willed/ impatient/ thing happening. Her twin almost wears a halo (I swear). Golden from the day she was born. Wouldn't hurt a fly, can barely say "no" very forcefully - passive and happy contiuously. There is the baby who luckily has some weight on her and the only reason her sister can push her around is because she can't walk YET.

Yesterday she was foaming at the mouth when she had to leave daycare a bit early (4:30) and wanted to play. Hitting at me, physically hard to get into the carseat. Today removing her diaper then continuing to not put it on despite time-outs in the pnp. Again set to her room this time for throwing stuff and removed all her clothes and only finally gave in because she got cold. Was happy for 10 mins then pushing her baby sister in the face because she was playing with the baby gate.

I'm not a "dont' do that dear" type of mother and I think I'm fairly strict with NO hiting, pushing, biting..... but it continues. Yes biting was about 2 weeks ago. She has been like this always. She took her sisters toys away when her sister couldn't crawl to get them.

I'm tired. I'm over it. I just want to put her into daycare for the entire week and just be over it. I find I can't be a mother to my other kids because I'm only dealing with her. It is hard to want to hug her after a night I've had. Maybe i"m just not cut out to be a mom.

Heather

 

Heather :hug: You are definitely cut out to be a Mom...it does sound like your DD is very strong willed. I don't know if you have tried this but a lot of people on TS swear by 1-2-3 Magic for discipline. I am sorry that your DD is giving you such a headache and heartache and I hope things will start to improve with her soon :hug:

 

Heather, I have one of "those" kids as well. I also have a "halo child".

It's painful.

I have no help to offer other than to tell you that I put my naughty one in his crib on a regular basis and I ignore him A LOT. We still go places so I can do fun stuff w/ "halo" and it works out okay.

It's awful but I can't let halo miss out. LOL.

I'm sorry and I SERIOUSLy don't know how you do it w/ a baby, too. You are doing a great job.

Stay tough and stick your ground!

I'm not a "no pls don't dear, Mom" either. you can't be.

Good luck, I've heard it gets better. So far, mine hasn't. He has been my colic baby and it's never changed..

Hugs.

 

I also have one like this and I feel so bad for my other two kids because so much of my time is spend with her just to try to make her happy. Most of the time it doesnt work Plus she also is the one that wakes up in the night like a million times. I am sleepy and cranky most days so that doesnt help. The girl is attached to my hip I cant do anything or go anywhere with out her freaking out. She also freaks if her sister wants to sit or play with me. I want to pull my hair out

 

Oh I am so sorry things are rough right now - big hugs to you!! You are a GREAT mother! Hand in there, things will turn around soon.

we started using 123 magic just recently and it is working out quite nicely. My DD is usually the strong-willed one (but lately DS has been trying out some of that behavior too - ugh!). Anyway, time-outs and 123 magic has really been working well for us - the issue is that you have to be like 100% consistent with it. Which means while I put dd in timeout I have to basically stand there next to her because she tried to leave timeout, (while trying to give positive attention to the one who is NOT in timeout), and that is challenging, so I can't imagine what it would be like with 2 others to take care of!
I try and look at it from a different perspective when I get really frustrated - I reframe it and try and think of dd has been very smart because she is testing boundaries, she is learning and exploring her world and learning what is acceptable and not.

 

I couldn't imagine TWO like my daughter, I dont' know how mother's on here with TWO kids with strong personalities deal with it. I wonder if at least I would feel like they were more equal in strength and determination... but with my two her twin is lighter, not as physically strong so it really feels like this constant "bully" in our house terrorizing everyone. I hate using such strong terms to talk about my kids, but at least on here it is the only place I can do that.

I have the book 1-2-3 Magic and I'm nearly through it. I do have a hard time with not showing my emotions. To see her bullying one of her sisters who was just standing there -- it is hard for me not to get angry at her. I'm going to try the pnp instead of the corner, since often she is fighting me to stay in the corner. It is just tiring taking her upstairs to the pnp since I use it as a second nap area to keep the twins separate for naps.

Seriously WHEN does it get better ???

Heather

 

Heather,
i've stopped holding my breath..