my official meltdown (it's a long one)

So I had my first official meltdown today. I was doing so well, staying positive and not letting other peoples comments effect me. Even my husband said I had been doing so well, not having mood swings and so on. I had an OB apt today with a NST and my dr. checked my cervix for the first time. I thought for sure I would have been dilated by now, but no, my cervix is totally closed. But I didn't let that get me down, no big deal right? Well then I call my mom afterwards, because if I don't she will automatically assume that I am in labor at the hospital and that I somehow forgot to inform her. So after her and my MIL asking me after every apt if the dr. checked me or not, I can finally answer her and I tell her that I'm not dilated. Boy did she sound disappointed, made me feel like somehow I failed. Should I apologize? And then it all came tumbling down. I bawled my eyes out and tried to keep myself from eating a gallon of rocky road ice cream to ease the pain. I am so tired of people asking me when the babies are going to come, how much longer, am I dilated, am I miserable, and the "I thought for sure they would have been here by now," comment. Yes, I thought they would have been here too, but they aren't so do me a favor and LEAVE ME ALONE! And I'm not miserable because I'm pregnant, I'm miserable because I have to deal with people's comments day after day. I've been trying to keep myself busy so I don't go insane wondering why I haven't gone into labor yet and when it might happen. But unfortunately everywhere I go, people stare at me and have to ask me "how much longer?" etc. etc. It never fails, I can't go out in public without strangers asking me every freakin where I go. The gas station, the grocery store, the bank, and even worse my work. I didn't go to work today because I just couldn't handle it anymore. So there is my frustration all in a nutshell. A word of advice, assume that you are going to get to 39+wks with your twins instead of 36. That way you don't feel overdue when you really aren't. Thanks for listening.... <_<

 

Gosh, you're just now 36.3...that's not overdue in any circle. How long have they been wanting you to go into labor? Read them the statistics of a 36 vs. a 37+ week baby. Maybe when you are 39 weeks they should wonder...but now? It's a bit early for that. Haang in there. You should be damn proud that they aren't here yet.

 

Oh KEEP THOSE BABIES BAKING!!!!! THEY WILL BE THAT MUCH BIGGER AND HEALTHIER!!!!! I know you are miserable, but just let them talk, let them ask and happily reply my babies are still growing! We are not ready for them to be here yet!!! Hang in there! It will happen when you least expect it!!! I went to my dr the day I delivered and he said see you next week, and wholeheartedly expected to go to 38 weeks at that point. NO CHANGE! But my babies came that very night! LOL!!! My how things change!!!

 

oh honey, i feel your pain! it sounds like you have been doing great so far...i'll be praying and thinking of you these next few days. :hug99:

 

I know how you feel. I am sick and tired of everyones comments. My mother asked me two days ago why I had not gone in labor yet and I am only 8 months pregnant. She is crazy. I am not ready for them to spend a month or two in NICU. I want them to come home when I do. Then my mom asked why the OB dr's are not seeing me more often. I told her that is a sign that this pregnancy is going great. Then she asked why am I still cooking dinner and taking care of my family. DUH I have too. They are my life. And why not? It keeps me busy and I do rest a lot. I cant imagine going through this either for another two months. I have just started telling people that when God is ready they will be here b/c God is the only one that knows when they are coming out. Hang in there.

 

:hug99: Wow! They should be thrilled that your babies are still cooking. You are giving your babies a great headstart by keeping them in there so long. FWIW, my cervix never dilated in either of my pregnancies. I went to 37+ weeks with the twins and 38 with my singleton (both c-section deliveries). Don't let everyone get you down! And if you want to eat that ice cream, now's the time to do it !!

 

Don't let it get to you!! Keeping them in there is great. At 36wks, I was physically ready to be done. I hurt so bad and the swelling was bad...the worst was the itching I had on my belly. Mentally and emotionally I was not ready. I did not want the girls out before 37wks. However, they were born 36w5d due to Baby A not getting nutrients from me. It was an emergency c-section...I went from going to a u/s and BPP at 10am to the hospital at 11am to the OR at 1:20pm and the girls arriving at 1:45pm. It was very scary, sudden, and I did not want to deliver, but I had no choice. I still have a hard time with the fact that I wasn't emotionally ready to be done being pg. I was scheduled for my c-section today...I would of been 39w3d.

My girls are tiny, but they are healthy. I was greatful they did not have to go to the hospital with the NICU, but was warned before the were born that it was possible.

Keeping them in there is great and be proud of yourself!!

April

 

Oh how I feel for you and fear for me. I know I will go through the same constant questioning. I can offer no advice but to try and hang in there. Hopefully this may make you laugh a little (or just smile)....my parents, Sister and MIL have been so bad I have developed an FAQ concerning my pregnancy. What was born from frustration has become a tool of communication. It is now it's own email chain and everyone knows they can't ask a question that is on the list, or I will just say refer to FAQ #5, lol. Below is a sample of some questions...

1. When will they be delivered?
a. Obviously I cannot commit to a date. As we move into October I hope to know more but I have learned this is out of all our control. Their official 40 week due date is November 17. They will probably not be allowed to go much past 38 weeks, which is November 3. We have been very blessed with a largely trouble free pregnancy and hope it continues.

3. What happens if we don’t get there in time?
a. I love this questions because in time for what??? At my hospital, multiple are delivered in the OR which limits the number of non medical parties, excluding the mom, to one. Evans is first in line for this spot. My friend Kelly is second because she went to all those classes with me. When you get here I may still be in labor or the boys may have been delivered. Regardless you will be some of the first people to see us.

It has helped with people we know, not strangers. With strangers I answer honestly about when I am due or lie outlandishly to amuse myself, I told a woman recently I was due in Febraury. Hang in there and stay strong. You are doing wonderful and are an inspiration for me.

 

I had my meltdown at 36 weeks exactly. I walked into the Docs office already welled up and and as soon as the nurse asked me how I was I lost it! I didn't really KNOW what was wrong etc.... that's when my bp spiked and they told me to be at the hospital later that evening. They tried to induce me because of my bp going up, so just the fact that you are hitting an emotional wall indicates a change in your "condition".

PLEASE LAY LOW! You are a few days away from really having good healthy babies. Take this opportunity to rest the best you can (I know you can't get comfortable) and to talk to your friends on the phone etc. You are about to be out of time!

I won't even suggest getting a pedicure because you would then be subject to all the "When are you due" etc. etc.! Just lie low! Eat some rocky road and rent a good movie!! :hug99:

You are doing terrific and it's a GOOD thing that the babies aren't here yet and a GOOD thing you aren't dialating. Other people get all in a twitter about it because "twins are supposed to be so early" but it's REALLY better if they are NOT! :hug99:

 

I'm so sorry! I'm still pg with twins (and won't get near term with these), but with my son, I went 5 days past my due date. I HATED all the questions. I was SOOOO not wanting to deal with it. I stopped answering my phone. I put a message on it saying that "no, the baby is not here yet, but you will know when I: go into labor/he arrives". I didn't write any emails. People had to deal - they had to trust that we were going to let them know - I didn't care if they wanted updates - my cervix - by business. They will forgive you later. I holed up in my house. I begged people to go to lunch/dinner with me because I wanted a distraction from how miserable I felt. No one wanted to go with me because I was like a "walking time bomb" and they were all afraid I would go into labor while they were with me and no one wanted to deal with that. A day after my due date my cervix was closed and not effaced - yet I went into labor the next day.

Hugs to you.

Jenny

 

:hug99: I'm sorry people are being insensitive. I'm sure all of us on here have experienced this (me included). What a blessing you're still carrying and will go full-term. Great job . Just remind everyone that the babies will come when they're ready. The longer they're in you the better . Keep us posted!

 

I'm sorry people are being so rude, I am getting the same thing from my mom, MIL, and co-workers, I feel like putting a message on my answering machine "yes I'm still pregnant, no I'm not in labor. . .if you want to talk about something else leave a message".

And I haven't even hit 36 weeks!

 

It seems that people think ALL twins come early! I feel your pain-since the beginning of my pregnancy everyone has assumed I would deliver very early-almost promoting premature birth and not realizing how important it is that these babies stay in as long as possible! Be happy and proud that your babies are doing so great and still growing! I agree it is annoying to see looks of horror on people's faces when they see how big you are and how much time you have left. Stay positive and ignore all the silly comments! You know what is best for your babies!

 

Making it to 37 weeks is a big deal and you are so close don’t let them bugging you ruin how much you have already accomplished.
I have people who are annoyed that 37 weeks for me is the week before thanksgiving and 38 (my goal right now) is thanksgiving week. Some one actually told me that I need to just schedule a c-section and make sure it is as far away as possible from thanksgiving because people have plains.

 

:hug99: If it's any comfort on my first child i was closed up super tight until 40 weeks 3 days...then my water broke and bam I was in labor... had a fairly typical labor. But the fact that your cervix is closed has absolutely no prediction value on whether or not you will go into labor at a normal gestation. you could go into labor tomorrow... or you might make it to 39 weeks if your docs let you. Take a deep breath. you can do this!! your body will know just what to do. And keep in mind some women dilate pretty quickly once things get going. I was pretty typical with my first baby, not too fast...but my twin was odd..she hung out at a 2 for 6 hours..then went from a 2 to a 10 in just an hour!! So you never know. Her second baby she went from a 5 to a 10 in just 2 minutes.

and look at my twin pg... I was 2cm dilated from week 35 on... I still made it to my c/s at 37weeks 5 days..so even if you were nicely dilated it might not mean anything!

 

Okay i totally went thru a depression from 35-37 weeks. It felt like the babies were never comming.. I didnt ever thing that i would make it this far. and people keep asking when babies are comming.. But now that i am just waiting until monday and i am feeling really proud that I have made it past what everyone thought that i would make it too. The only thing i can tell you is that you need to embrace how far you have made it and just think it will all be over in just a couple more weeks, even if you dont go into labor yourself!

 

QUOTE(Gumberly @ Aug 28 2007, 12:44 PM) [snapback]383446[/snapback]
Some one actually told me that I need to just schedule a c-section and make sure it is as far away as possible from thanksgiving because people have plains.




WHAT? OMG! I would have the same issue, because 38 weeks for me is around t-giving too. But, I know I won't get anywhere near then. But, in the miracle I do - they're going to have to deal. Some people.

Jenny

 

People are so insensitive and misinformed!

I can imagine you are suffering a lot. I was past due for my first pregnancy and at the end I couldn't wait to be over with it. Plus I had a huge belly and people had started to tell me I was ready for the hospital while I was still around the 7th-8th month. And this was a singleton pregnancy! But now that I'm expecting twins my biggest fear is that I'll go in labor too early. Through the experience of a friend of mine, I know that sad events can happen when babies are born prematurely and have to go the NICU. So, keep being brave, and rejoyce that they probably won't be premature.

And if people ask you surprised questions, practice telling them how GLAD and RELIEVED you are that they stayed that far, because they will have more chance to be healthy!

Hang in there! It REALLY IS a brave act. One day it will be done and you'll enjoy your babies

 

Thanks for all the support and advice I'm feeling a lot better now and I re-charged myself so I can last the next 2 and a half weeks if needed (c-section scheduled for Sept. 13th). I am really blessed to have gone this far and every day is a bonus. I figure that every baby deserves as much time in the womb as possible, 39-40wks even, and my girls aren't an exception just because they are twins.