My mother is driving me crazy!

My mother and I don't always get along. She is driving me insane right now. We told her we are still deciding on names for the boys, but so far we have Andrew (we would call him Drew), Sean, and William (we would call him Liam). She is so anti-Liam it is ridiculous. She keeps trying to say it doesn't go with our last name, but I know her real reasons. I'm positive she hates the name becuase she is Italian and my husband is half Irish. She actually said, but he is only 1/4 Irish, like that frigin matters! The other reason she hates the name is because his full name will be William and that is my father in law's name. I know she doesn't think it is right for us to give one of our sons my father-in-law's name as a first name when we only used my father's name as our first son's middle name. She is very petty like that. She actually kept saying, "William is a good middle name." Then when I called to tell her about my appointment today she started giving me the list that she and my sister came up with of names! I told her that my sister is not naming my children and I already told her the names we like and we are still deciding. I really think she is so petty that for the rest of her life she'll make comments about our son's name if we name him Liam! So, what do you think of my names? What combos would you put together. Keep in mind my son's name is Ryan and I'd like them all to sound good together because I have a feeling I'll be yelling all three at once a lot!

 

Do not let anyone influence you!!! I know how you feel! Dh is Irish and I am Greek. We named one of our sons Seamus (dh's dads name is James- Seamus is Gaelic for James) Patrick. My mom did not like that name AT ALL!! Now though, she loves it and knows it fits him perfectly! As far as the middle name, Seamus has DH's name as his middle name and Nicholas' middle name is after my dad.

I love the name Sean. If we did not name Seamus his name, he would have been Sean but we decided to name him Seamus in honor of dh's dad. And Drew and Liam...I like them both. I like them as shortened names but I also love them as full names!

Stay strong!!! :laughing:

 

Ugh! How frustrating! :hug99: I agree with Nicole, stay strong and hopefully she will get over it. It took me a long time to even start sharing names, for fear of conversations just like this with my family.

I can't wait to hear what you finally decide on!

 

I really like your names and if I were you, I would make a pact with your hubby to keep names to yourselves from here on out.... tell everyone that they will know what names you've chosen when the babies are born. Period.

My mother made a comment about one of the middle names I chose and I told her the name topics was closed - I didn't want to know what she thought about it. SECONDS after I told her that, she made a comment that made me VERY angry and I told her I thought she was really rude and I hung up on her.

I HATE when people think they have a say in naming a child that IS NOT THEIRS!!!!!!!

 

That's why we kept the names to ourselves until the girls were born. Just don't discuss it with her.

Love your names


amanda

 

I think all 3 names are great- and you couldn't go wrong with any of them. Personally, I like Drew and Liam w/ Ryan, but Sean is nice as well.

My DH is William (Bill) and I like the idea of using Liam as a shortened version!

Do what you and your partner want- no one else gets any say in how you name your children. Don't argue the point, simply put what you want on the birth certificate and THEN let people know the names.

 

I like Andrew and Liam. My mom is the same way and several of my family members and friends have been calling up with name suggestions. We pretty much have narrowed our names down but tell everyone that we have a bunch we like and will name the boys after they are born. I don't think people give you their opinions any longer after the babies are born and named. My mother has all of these rhyming twin names and thinks that nothing matches our last name either. She keeps asking if we will name one of the boys Cooper after her father. Maybe as a middle name, but I told her that she had her kids and he chance to name them already so let it go....good luck, mothers are a tough battle to win.

 

QUOTE(mstofko21 @ May 29 2008, 08:15 PM) [snapback]800326[/snapback]
but I told her that she had her kids and he chance to name them already so let it go....good luck, mothers are a tough battle to win.


AMEN!!

 

QUOTE(j&jtwins @ May 29 2008, 07:34 PM) [snapback]800237[/snapback]
Just don't discuss it with her.


:good: This is what I would do if she keeps up. They are your kids, you name them what YOU want. I'm sorry she is being a pain about it, just don't tell her anymore until the babies arrive and I'm sure afterwards she'll love them just the same. They are beautiful names.

 

QUOTE(JediMom @ May 29 2008, 07:10 PM) [snapback]800195[/snapback]
I really like your names and if I were you, I would make a pact with your hubby to keep names to yourselves from here on out.... tell everyone that they will know what names you've chosen when the babies are born. Period.

I HATE when people think they have a say in naming a child that IS NOT THEIRS!!!!!!!


DITTO! After telling the family very early on (when I was about 14 weeks) about the only 2 names we had thought of at that point (Allison and Elizabeth) and my grandmother telling me that if it were her she "WOULD NOT" name a child Elizabeth because there are too many in family history, we shut up and haven't said anything since!

We have found several other names now that we like but everytime anyone asks if we've thought of anymore names we just shrug and tell them it's hard to agree on anything so we're not sure. They will all get to find out when they visit at the hospital.

I really like the names you have chosen. If you don't want anymore criticism from family/friends then just don't tell them anything anymore.

 

I agree, don't tell her anything regarding the names any further. My parents weren't thrilled with the names but now they love them and my MIL doesn't like DD's name and still refuses to call her by it (she gave her a nickname) and has everyone in that side of the family call her the nickname too! You do what you want because they are your kids. GL

Oh and I also agree Drew and Liam are great and go really good with Ryan.

 

We didn't tell anyone the names since we didn't want other people to have an opinion on it. Also, you don't want fellow pregnant friends or relatives to name their children the same or similar names. Better to decide yourselves and then just tell everyone when you signed it with ink. These are YOUR babies, they have had THEIR children so you decide what you want to name them. Tell them nothing further.

Sorry you are dealing with this stress it should be a happy time.

Heather

 

the names you have chosen are nice names!
my mum and mil both hate the names we have chosen as well ... but ihave decided to ignore there input...these are my babies not thiers! they had there chance to name there own kids

 

I think you are fully capable of naming YOUR OWN babies, and I like your names.

Maybe if she starts trying to discuss it with you, laugh and turn the subject into a joke: "Mom, we've decided on final names. If I tell you, you can't tell anyone. . . (she begs and then deadpan say) . . . we've decided to call them Butch and Ox!" (or some other name you find funny)

 

this is why we didnt share our names - but some how out of nowhere my inlaws started a rant about how we better not name one of the girls hazel - who new that was the only name so far that we agrreed on. so we had to drop it - bummer. ignore her if you can - its just the begining of a lot of things you'll have to ignore -

 

I love the names you've chosen! Interestingly enough, my MIL (she's also Italian) started asking us about names. Early on DH mentioned Liam and she also said it doesn't go with the last name!!

We've now chosen Joshua and Natalie. We are refusing to tell anyone our names because everyone has such a different opinion and we don't want anyone influencing our decisions. We even have friends who just had a son and named him Joshua, but we're still sticking to our name because that's the name we originally chose when we first started TTC 5 years ago. Tough luck if people don't like our names or think we're copying them.

I like Emily's suggestion - come up with a weird name and leave it like that for now!

Brooklyne xx

 

I love the names you've picked out. One of our friends has a William who goes by Liam. Our William is Will.

This is why we didn't tell anyone our names until they were born. In utero, the boys were "Kermit" and "Frog"!

Becky

 

Thanks. My mother is hard to deal with most of the time. So I shouldn't be surprised she is acting like this. I just know she will forever make comments about Liam or refuse to call him that! I like the idea of not telling until they are born. We've given people an idea of what the names will be and we'll just say we haven't decided yet. That actually might still be true by the time they are born.

 

Sucks. Family politics can be so tough. Hope you get things straightened out. I happen to have a mother who is somewhat overbearing too so I understand that not talking about the names may be more dificult than others think OR could just cause more problems and hurt feelings that really don't need to happen. Maybe a more diplomatic approach could be to ask them to put together a list of names they like, honestly look at them (ini case there is a quiz later) and then decide for yourself (regardless of whether you actually really even consider her list or not LOL) At least she will feel that you heard her and acknowledged her opinion. It may not matter to her if you actually pick a name she suggests but it she probably feels this is such an important decision that she wants to help, even though it's not really her place. She also probably does feel like your husband is getting "higher status" by DH's side getting a first name and her side getting a middle name. Again, family politics. Sucks but it happens.

I, however, think that the names you chose are absolutely adorable! Your mother probably does too, just won't admit it. LOL Would you consider Irish/Italian and Italian/Irish names? Maybe that might help.

 

Initially I was more open with family about our name choices and then all the feedback started to annoy me. It hit me though and I pointed out to my mom that no one told her what to name me or my brothers. When it comes down to it it is the parents' decision and everyone else needs to respect that. No matter what name you choose once it's set she will have to adjust and learn to like it. I can't imagine her refusing to call him Liam but I've heard of that which is really annoying. The tricky thing with William then is that there are so many nn possibilities that she could easily call him something else.

I like all your names. I've been loving Sean lately. We had William with nn Liam for awhile on our list but have decided on Wyatt.

Just go with what you like and keep it to yourself if you can from now on. It's hard but also kinda fun to have a secret. Since everyone knows we're having b/g twins the only thing I get to surprise them with are the names. People are respectful when I say "you'll find out when they are born" or if they push me I say "We are going to wait until we see them."

Good luck!

Laura

 

UHG!!! I do not know why people ALWAYS want to give opinions on how many kids we have and their names!! I would come up with the most hideous names I could and tell her those! You name your kids whatever YOU and your DH want to - Drew and Liam are precious names and go really well together and with Ryan. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

 

I love Andrew it was actually a suggestion when we were naming our boys and Sean is also a great name but I like the -Shawn- spelling probably because that is what I am used to within my mom's family. I always thought ppl would mispronouce Sean as "Seen", anyway we did the same thing your MIL is suggesting with our boys by having their middle name be that of my Dad and DH's step-dad. I also like Liam, IMO all of the names go great with Ryan!

 

Sorry she's putting you through this. I would guess that she doesn't realize how offensive it really is and you need to tell her to back off before you snap and say something you'll regret.

We had a bunch of joke names and when people would ask, we'd give the joke names (stuff like Jack Daniels & Jim Beam). NOBODY but us knew the names until after the boys were born. It made it easier to not have any exceptions because if you tell one person, then either other people get bent because they weren't in the know or the person you told blabs. So, we didn't get much for opinions other than my father begging me not to use his first name because he HATES it. I'm pretty sure there were some unhappy people when we revealed the names because they weren't "family" names but whatever.