my most hated question

"how are you feeling?" i HATE HATE HATE that question. what do they want me to say? well, i've got limbs all over the place, and someone is headbutting my bowels, my stomach skin is stretching beyond belief, my back hurts, it's humid out so my hands are especially swollen.... i just don't want to answer this question. i understand they care, but do they really? do they really want to hear all that? and what's funny is my DH hates that question now, too. when people ask him how i'm feeling he wants to say, "terrific! she was doing a few backflips yesterday...."

i just wanted to vent. and it's too hot. i'm hot. and i spilled ketchup on my shirt today. i need to call the waaaaaambulance

 

QUOTE
well, i've got limbs all over the place, and someone is headbutting my bowels, my stomach skin is stretching beyond belief, my back hurts, it's humid out so my hands are especially swollen....


Yep, I think you should say that!

I know the questions does get old though doesn't it. :hug99:

 

I know. They ask how you feel and then say, "Really? Well just wait until...." I usually just say fine, good, okay unless it's a parent or someone close. That way I can avoid those comments .

 

ooooooooh I am right there with you! How the heck do you think I am feeling?!?!

My mother and sister started asking 'hows your health today' which now makes me giggle when they ask because I know they just want to make sure I am doing ok minus the laundry list of complaints.

And its so hot here too! I have the ac blasting in my living room and have been sleeping on my couch because the rest of my apt is a sauna.

 

I'm pg with just one this time around and I'm sick of that question!! LOL.. more for the opposite reason though. People ask with such sympathy..."gosh, dear, so how are you feeling??" with this desperate tone...like I have a disease or something! I just look at them and say, "I feel great." with a look expressing why should i feel any different?? Maybe I just get a little defensive b/c I think people look at me and feel sorry like I accidentally planned my kids so close in age...when in truth we planned it this way and in complete and absolute honesty it really isn't so bad at all... yeah, I'm not lugging the kids around as much anymore...but I don't feel like some horrible disease victim where my life is misery. KWIM?? Anyway...so for a very different reason I also hate that question...but maybe it's more of the tone in some people's voices... the sympathy "I feel sorry for you" tone versus the cheerful "what a happy thing this is for you" tone...

 

I know how you feel...funny thing is, even if I feel my worst and most uncomfortable I hear my DH telling everyone who calls that I feel terrific! HUH? I guess we should be happy that people are still asking...

 

I get it all the time. I have just been saying "like I'm pregnant with twins" I know people mean well and care about how I'm feeling. Just gets old- I feel pregnant x two!

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Sep 8 2007, 08:04 PM) [snapback]398938[/snapback]
"how are you feeling?" i HATE HATE HATE that question. what do they want me to say? well, i've got limbs all over the place, and someone is headbutting my bowels, my stomach skin is stretching beyond belief, my back hurts, it's humid out so my hands are especially swollen.... i just don't want to answer this question. i understand they care, but do they really? do they really want to hear all that? and what's funny is my DH hates that question now, too. when people ask him how i'm feeling he wants to say, "terrific! she was doing a few backflips yesterday...."

i just wanted to vent. and it's too hot. i'm hot. and i spilled ketchup on my shirt today. i need to call the waaaaaambulance



Amen sister!! My second most hated question "Are you in labor yet?" I've heard that 20 times in the last 4 days. Duh, don't you think I would call you mom if I was in labor!!

 

QUOTE(xavier2001 @ Sep 8 2007, 09:47 PM) [snapback]399209[/snapback]
Amen sister!! My second most hated question "Are you in labor yet?" I've heard that 20 times in the last 4 days. Duh, don't you think I would call you mom if I was in labor!!



UGH! i've been hearing, "ready to go any day now, huh?" are you kidding me? i heard it 3 times just today! :angry:

 

:lol: I hear ya!
I'm starting to feel like that grandmother nobody wants to call because every time you ask how she's doing, she starts talking about how her diabetes is acting up and she's been constipated for two weeks.

Hmmm...maybe if I start saying stuff like that, they'll all quit asking.

 

That question is getting old for me too! Even though I feel fine, I feel like I should be saying that I don't! But my 2nd most hated questions would have to be, "How are you going to do it?" Like I'm the FIRST person to ever have twins!!!! I'll take it one day at a time, that's how I'll do it. I have no great expectations of things...I'm going with the flow-THAT'S how I will do it! I can't grow arms now can I?!?!

 

Boy do I hear you on this one. I was dreading my baby shower because I was afraid I would have to run the gauntlet on this one, sure enough I got asked more times then I can count. I was surprised when one friend with a 3 month old asked, you would think since she had just recently had a baby she of all people would of not asked.
This also reminds me of a question from a ultrasound tech the other day. He asked me if I had noticed anything different about this pregnancy…..I was not in the best mood at the time and couldn’t help myself I replied “you mean besides the fact that it is twins” ?

 

QUOTE(ddancerd1 @ Sep 8 2007, 05:04 PM) [snapback]398938[/snapback]
"how are you feeling?" i HATE HATE HATE that question. what do they want me to say? well, i've got limbs all over the place, and someone is headbutting my bowels, my stomach skin is stretching beyond belief, my back hurts, it's humid out so my hands are especially swollen.... i just don't want to answer this question. i understand they care, but do they really? do they really want to hear all that? and what's funny is my DH hates that question now, too. when people ask him how i'm feeling he wants to say, "terrific! she was doing a few backflips yesterday...."

i just wanted to vent. and it's too hot. i'm hot. and i spilled ketchup on my shirt today. i need to call the waaaaaambulance


:rofl: :hug99:

 

At least I am not alone! I think I am going to make a checklist each day to hand out whenever people ask how I feel and and just check off my various symptoms (back ache, exhaustion, overall discomfort, leg cramps, etc.) Wonder how they would respond to that?

I'm even more annoyed by the people who say, "Any day now!" or "You won't make it more than a couple more weeks." I want to yell at them, "I hope you are wrong! I may be big and uncomfortable, but they still need more time, hopefully at least 5 more weeks!" Yes, twins come early, but please don't wish them here for me before they are ready!

 

Aw shoot, and I was just going to ask how you were doing today

:hug99:

 

My faveorite is the response I get when people ask. "Sooo what are you having a boy or a girl?"

I say I'm having one of each a boy and a girl. Then yes they have to ask it and YES they all do " So are you having twins?"

It's like duh. A boy AND a girl. I sure hope it's twins.It's never oooooo you are having twins, they just always ask. I guess just incase I was having a hermaphrodite and they didn't want to offend me. LOL

 

i don't take a lot of phone calls right now because of this very same complaint. what would they like me to say? "i feel like crap, thanks for asking. no, i have not had these babies yet. yes, i know how big i am. thank you ever so kindly for mentioning that...."

 

Oh don't get me started on the "oh my God how big are you" question. I had an impromptu visit last night from a friend (which is a whole other thing in itself, I'm 9 months pregnant with twins, don't just drop by and expect a clean house), but the first words out of her mouth (after she picked her jaw up from the floor), was, "Oh my God, you are huge!!" Yes, I know I'm huge, I'm carrying around 2 six pound babies for crying out loud. But it's not like I said to her, "oh my God, your face is greasy, or you've gained weight since I saw you".

Thanks for letting me vent, I feel better already.

 

UGGHHHH! I hate all fo these questions! Makes me never want to leave the house and deal with people!

 

I am starting to hate that question too, and when I do say something, everyone is like, well that is normal...to be expected. UGH, no sh** but you asked me and I am honestly telling you and then you say that?

And the 'are you having a boy or girl?' I agree with pp, then people look at you and say "Twins?????" like it never happens to anyone. Then the proceed to tell me how small I am for twins. Well they are about 5lbs each so 10lbs worth of baby is NOT SMALL! I feel like yelling at them.

At least no one has touched my belly out in public, you know like strangers, because I think I would kick someone.

 

QUOTE(Overachiever @ Sep 8 2007, 11:18 PM) [snapback]399336[/snapback]
Aw shoot, and I was just going to ask how you were doing today

:hug99:

 

QUOTE(mrs.polm @ Sep 8 2007, 11:13 PM) [snapback]399330[/snapback]
I may be big and uncomfortable, but they still need more time, hopefully at least 5 more weeks!" Yes, twins come early, but please don't wish them here for me before they are ready!



*high five* thank you!

 

OH my other hated question is.....is this your first? I say YES and LAST, and they think they know everything and say that I will have more. I am sorry but the number of children I have is a personal decision between my husband and I and we decided that 2 is plenty for us and we will not have anymore. Then I once told someone that I might have my tubes tied and they told me not to do that because what if they die???? How could people be so cruel.

I tell them that it took me so long to get to this point and even though my IVF was successful, I don't think I could endure all that again. They, say, when you hold them you will automatically want more. OMG! No I don't. They get so offended.

I am not having my tubes tied right away but I am having an IUD put in at my 6 week visit.

 

QUOTE(dr802 @ Sep 8 2007, 09:21 PM) [snapback]399067[/snapback]
I know how you feel...funny thing is, even if I feel my worst and most uncomfortable I hear my DH telling everyone who calls that I feel terrific! HUH? I guess we should be happy that people are still asking...




i put on a game face and say i feel fine, then dh corrects me and tells people i reaaly feel miserable!

 

I'm not one for small talk and always answered "You don't want to know." That usually shut them up...

 

QUOTE(b/gtwinmom07 @ Sep 9 2007, 11:55 AM) [snapback]399694[/snapback]
OH my other hated question is.....is this your first? I say YES and LAST, and they think they know everything and say that I will have more. I am sorry but the number of children I have is a personal decision between my husband and I and we decided that 2 is plenty for us and we will not have anymore. Then I once told someone that I might have my tubes tied and they told me not to do that because what if they die???? How could people be so cruel.

I tell them that it took me so long to get to this point and even though my IVF was successful, I don't think I could endure all that again. They, say, when you hold them you will automatically want more. OMG! No I don't. They get so offended.

I am not having my tubes tied right away but I am having an IUD put in at my 6 week visit.




...or what about when you tell them 'first and last' and they say that you will want more because you are going to miss being pregnant?!?!
Um, no I really dont think I will. I can definitely live without the aches/pains, limbs in organs and ribs, the nauseau, the bedrest, sleepless nights, etc. And I am definitely looking forward to MY body being mine again.

 

QUOTE(tgbmomofthree @ Sep 9 2007, 12:39 PM) [snapback]399741[/snapback]
i put on a game face and say i feel fine, then dh corrects me and tells people i reaaly feel miserable!



I do that too, it really makes me mad though when DH tells everyone how miserable I am, yes it's true, but I'd like to keep some of my misery private, the whole world doesn't need to know what a physical and emotional wreck I am becoming!

 

And then after they arrive ...?! O My ...

Conversation at Starbucks this morning (my twins sitting in the stroller)
Lady: are they twins?
Me: um, yes?!
Lady: are they identical?
Me: um, no one is a boy and one is a girl
Lady: (not listening very well) ... no, they don't look alike ...
Lady to my oldest: do you have 2 brothers?
My oldest: speechless (I would be too)
Lady: oh no, one is a boy and one is girl
Me thinking: I told you so (and my girl is pink from top to bottom ...).

It never stops ... good luck to all of you!

 

QUOTE(Sofiesmom @ Sep 9 2007, 03:06 PM) [snapback]399891[/snapback]
And then after they arrive ...?! O My ...

Conversation at Starbucks this morning (my twins sitting in the stroller)
Lady: are they twins?
Me: um, yes?!
Lady: are they identical?
Me: um, no one is a boy and one is a girl
Lady: (not listening very well) ... no, they don't look alike ...
Lady to my oldest: do you have 2 brothers?
My oldest: speechless (I would be too)
Lady: oh no, one is a boy and one is girl
Me thinking: I told you so (and my girl is pink from top to bottom ...).

It never stops ... good luck to all of you!


OMG, what a dummy.

 

QUOTE(cohlee @ Sep 9 2007, 01:06 PM) [snapback]399816[/snapback]
...or what about when you tell them 'first and last' and they say that you will want more because you are going to miss being pregnant?!?!
Um, no I really dont think I will. I can definitely live without the aches/pains, limbs in organs and ribs, the nauseau, the bedrest, sleepless nights, etc. And I am definitely looking forward to MY body being mine again.



lol i don't understand the women who say they miss being pregnant. i will NOT miss this! maybe i'll miss feeling them move around (that bond and all), but i won't miss ANYTHING else! (and i can safely say that i WON'T miss the labor that comes at the end of all this)

 

I hate the "how are you going to do it" question....We have a 4 year old daughter and a 1 year old daughter. I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world with two other children, AND expecting two more! I get the "how are you feeling?" everyday at work..LOL. I answer it the same everyday, within another month here thankfully I won't have to hear that anymore!!

 

How about if you come up with a canned answer.... say something like "You seem nice, so I'll spare you the details of the constipation and heartburn, the 5 min. bladder and the waddling! I also won't tell you about not being able to sleep and how tired I am. Oh, and you won't want to hear about how I can't see my feet or fit into a booth at a restaurant! I guess, I'm fine, thanks for asking!"

(I used to get the boy/girl thing "oh, two boys?" Yes, I dress one boy in pink from head to toe because I'm doing a social experiment to see if I can influence his gender identity!)

 

My most hated comment is when people ask if we know what we're having, and I say, "Yes, a boy and a girl" and they reply, "Oh, that's perfect! Instant family!!" -- ummmm, so if we had two girls or two boys, we wouldn't be a family?! Or if we had no kids and it was just me and hubby, we're not a family?! I mean, I understand their point -- we'll have a son and a daughter, so we get them both in one preganancy -- but the "instant family" comment really irks me!!

 

QUOTE(~* dfaut *~ @ Sep 10 2007, 09:57 AM) [snapback]400928[/snapback]
How about if you come up with a canned answer.... say something like "You seem nice, so I'll spare you the details of the constipation and heartburn, the 5 min. bladder and the waddling! I also won't tell you about not being able to sleep and how tired I am. Oh, and you won't want to hear about how I can't see my feet or fit into a booth at a restaurant! I guess, I'm fine, thanks for asking!"

(I used to get the boy/girl thing "oh, two boys?" Yes, I dress one boy in pink from head to toe because I'm doing a social experiment to see if I can influence his gender identity!)



:rotflmbo:

 

The two most hated for me...is "What are you going to do if it is two more boys?" well I am going to love them just like their two big brothers! Like we are going to be disappointed if we don't have a girl?


The second one is when someone says it doesn't matter what you have "AS LONG AS THEY ARE HEALTHY!!!" well what if they are born and are not healthy....are we going to send them back? are we going to put them up for adoption? NO NO NO people are so stupid! I have started correcting them...and telling that I love my children unconditionally....and that is what a mother is suppose to do! HA....STUPID PEOPLE!!!



Missy