My mom didn't get the girls anything for Xmas

OK, so I am Russian Orthodox, and we just celebrated our Christmas Eve on the 6th (same holiday just different day). My DH and I were going through all the presents this morning, and I realized that I didn't remember getting anything from my mom for the babies. But she got my DH and I something....So I called her and asked if I just forgot to grab something from my grandmothers house, and she said,"No, I didn't get them anything. I just figured I have gotten them stuff here and there...' I'm not sure what to make of this....She really has not gotten them many things. I certainly don't care about the material objects - its the principal of the matter. Its the girsl first Christmas, and their grandmother didn't get them anything?? I would rather she get them something than me or my DH. Frankly, I'm kind of in shock....I didn't want to hurt my moms feelings, so I tried tio hide my emotion. Am I wrong for being totally offended?

 

I'm with you! That's so weird ... I mean, if if they don't remember a minute of it, it's their first Christmas!

 

I would be hurt too. I would not have hid my emotions about it though. I would have told her my feelings on the subject so I could move on, otherwise it would drive me crazy.

 

I am not in your shoes so I don't know. I think we told everyone not to get anything because we were so inundated with "stuff" that we didn't need more. Now if they were forgotten it would be hurtful and not tolerated but then, well, they won't remember and it was the time with family that was important.

 

It is a little odd, but maybe she figured the girls are so young that the gifts don't really register with them right now. I'm sure that when they grow older/more aware, she'll be more responsive. Maybe if you approached her and asked her about her future intentions (without being confrontations - more like you're just curious), you'd feel better about future Christmases.

 

Them being so little I don't think it would bother me. (My Mom skipped the twins too but got the older kids stuff)
Next year is a bigger deal for the twins.
That's just us though. I bought the twins one small toy each also.

 

Please don't take it too hard. She probably was just thinking that they are too little to remember their 1st christmas. I'm sure she will make it up to them next year. ^_^

 

We have bought so much stuff for the babies this year that we took Christmas "off" as far as gifts go and just got them one toy each to open for a picture. We told our families to skip presents too as they'd done so much, and to at least skip us this year if they couldn't resist presents for the babies. Things will be much different next year, and definitely the following year when the girls will go crazy over Santa and presents. I'm sure your mom was thinking along the same lines, but it would have been better if you guys had discussed it ahead of time.

 

I think it's a bit weird as well. I would have asked her more about it and told her my feelings. Even if they aren't into Christmas, she should have gotten them something little. Heck last year before the girls were even here, we got stuff for them from family.

 

I think I would probably be hurt, too. It is their first Christmas after all. She could've even gotten them a savings bond or something if they have too much "stuff".

 

QUOTE(Mom2CA @ Jan 9 2009, 10:02 AM) [snapback]1139877[/snapback]
I'm sure your mom was thinking along the same lines, but it would have been better if you guys had discussed it ahead of time.


So I spoke with my brother, and he told me that my mom had told him that with the tough economic times, she wasn't going to get the twins anything. If she told me that (or given me any reason, for that matter), I would not be hurt. But to just not say anything.....

On that note, I do want to say that my mom is a great person, and I know she did not mean to offend anyone. I just don't understand her logic on this one, and needed to vent!

 

QUOTE(Natalochka @ Jan 9 2009, 01:51 PM) [snapback]1139985[/snapback]
So I spoke with my brother, and he told me that my mom had told him that with the tough economic times, she wasn't going to get the twins anything. If she told me that (or given me any reason, for that matter), I would not be hurt. But to just not say anything.....

On that note, I do want to say that my mom is a great person, and I know she did not mean to offend anyone. I just don't understand her logic on this one, and needed to vent!


I am sorry that this happened. I know I would have been hurt even though she did not mean to offend, she probably could have handled it better and just explained that with the tough economic times and that this Christmas is one that is not a big deal for them, she elected not to give presents before hand to you. I know I would have appreciated an explanation beforehand.

 

Ok, I'm going to look like the odd greedy person. But, I don't mean to!

If my mom hadn't gotten the twins a gift on their first Christmas I would have been shocked!
Regardless if they are going to remember it or not, or if they already have a bunch of stuff,
or hard economic times--whatever, it is the babies first Christmas, I would want them to receive
something from their grandparents. Maybe it is just the way we do things in our family. It's funny
because we are very out there on some things, but VERY
traditional when it comes to birthdays, Christmas, etc. My mom got them Halloween gifts!

Why do people throw a big party for a 1st birthday and invite a bunch of adults? The kids aren't going
to remember it. Why put them on Santa's lap when they are babies? They won't remember it.

Just my take on it.

 

It really would have hurt my feelings. However, if she would have explained beforehand that she needed to cut back due to economic times, which of course we all understand, than I would have understood. Of course at that time I would have said lets not buy for the adults - just the kids. In fact that's what we did this year on my side.

I agree it is their first Christmas and I can't imagine the grandparents not getting them anything. Even if they had everything, a savings bond would have been nice like pp said.

 

I understand you feeling hurt. Even a small toy would be enough of a thought. I didn't give my girls much and just combined with with a few small things my mom got them. (their birthday was November) my mom gave them a fabric book, small stuffed snowmen, and fisherprice toy cellphone. So nice but simple and not too much. I guess I'd just try to see the other stuff she has done and know she didnt' have hurtful intensions.

Heather