My MIL is acting weird!

My mom left at the end of August and my MIL is here now. Since she's been here, she's been very distant and quiet. She'll stay in her bedroom and watch tv until feed time, then help feed a baby, then go back to her room! She feeds a baby then asks me where she wants the baby to be put down. It's like she doesn't even want to hold them and spend time with them. I would think a grandparent would want to spend more time with their first grandbabies. My mom couldn't get enough of them. She's normally not this distant. She's just acting differently and I almost feel like she's unapproachable to ask what is wrong. IDK could be menopause...but still, these are her grandbabies!! What do I do? What do ya'll think?

 

Sounds like DH can talk to her. She doesn't sound like she WANTS to be there and is doing it for some other obligation. Can you lay it on a little thick and tell her how happy you are to have her there and how much help she is? I don't know....She might not realize you are SUPER EXHAUSTED and she might not feel appreciated enough? You won't know till someone talks to her!

 

hmmm...that is a tough one....MIL's get a bad rap, they are in a tough spot. Maybe (and I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt here) she doesn't want to interfere with the babies and you. Let her know how much she is helping you, and that you appreciate it! maybe put on a movie and ask her to watch it with you.....who knows!

I hope everything goes smooth for you.

 

Thanks! I do try to thank her often and tell her how appreciative I am. Maybe she just doesn't want to interfere like you said. I didn't think of that. However, she's not very maternal to begin with. She's great and we've always gotten along very well. That's why this struck me as off behavior. For example, if a load of laundry is done, she'll pull it out of the dryer and hand me the unfolded basket of laundry and walk off. Before, she would help fold. I just hope she's ok. I am going to get dh to talk to her and see if she's doing alright. But she's the type of person that wouldn't tell him if something was wrong.

 

The laundry thing is weird if she always used to fold it. Definitely have dh talk with her. (Sorry. Like you need any added stress?!)

 

I WISH my MIL wouldn't interfere! Do you think we could swap? LOL No, but seriously mine is like Raymond's mom on What About Raymond TV show!

I guess I agree with everyone else and tell her that you appreciate her and ask her whats going on. I would much rather have people come out and just tell me what their problem is than to play these silly guessing games. Sorry to hear you are having a tough time with her. Hope it gets better!

 

When I had my last baby my mum came to stay because I had trey and the twins and I needed keith at the hospital so she came here and made our lives hell for the next couple of weeks it was dreadful she and my husband were at each others throats the whole time I cried all the time. i should give you a bit of back ground she lives on the other side of the country and she had come twice before and she and keith got along fine so I didnt think anything would be any different. She was fine with the kids I dont know what happened? Anyway she went home and called me when she got back and she was back to normal like nothing had happened! Needless to say I havent asked her to come this time and I told keith if his mother comes she has to go home when I get home because I just need my own space!

Anyway after that ramble I just want to say maybe its just something that happens to some mothers in the stressful situation of new grandchildren I mean your MIL isnt the loony my mum was but a change of personality in both cases. its just something you dont need at the moment and maybe if your husband could have a quiet talk to her about this change.