My massage therapist wants to attend my labor/birth

I see a massage therapist at my chiropractors office regularly for massage, God love her.
She specializes in pre-post natal massage and mainly sees pregnant women. She's been thinking about becoming a doula but shes never attended a live birth nor has she had any children of her own. She told me at my last visit that she would love to offer her services for free during my labor/birth (massage, helping me change positions, getting me water etc) in exchange for the oppurtunity to attend a birth and see if becoming a doula is something that would really interest her. She told me to discuss it with my husband and think about it. If its soemthing I want then she will start notifying her clients she's on call for a birth.

I think it would be great. Id love the addtiional support especially since I want to try to go drug free and I'd love to help her learn. I thnk the whole bithing process is amazing and only wish tht one day I can be on the other end watching a baby be born. My Dh on the other hand isnt sure how he feels about having a stranger there. He thinks its a very personal time and hes just not sure but said he will leave the decision to me since Im the one actually having the baby. Thoughts?

 

it is definitely a private time, but some people choose to make it a party and invite the whole neighborhood... lol. i'm a L&D nurse so i see this all the time. but anyway, ultimately the decision is yours and you reserve the right to change your mind at any time. if you feel that she will really benefit you and you dont mind her being there, then go for it. her massage techniques could really help you out if you plan on going natural. it's just a decision that you and dh need to make. just make sure he doesnt feel like he's being pushed out of the way and losing out on his experience. he may be afraid to say if he is.

 

a huge part of a doula's job is making sure the father is also being supported during labour & delivery - whether that means doing all the support for the birthing woman so he can just be in the moment or whether that means helping the father do the support work because that's what's most important to him or whether that just means spelling dad off for breaks when he needs to eat or go to the bathroom once in a while, it's all part of the job. here's a link from DONA International on the roles of dads & doulas.

before the girls were born, my husband thought that paying $900 for a doula was crazy - now he sings their praises to whoever will listen. he was so glad to have our doula there with us & it actually eased a lot of his anxiety. he also always comments on all the little things she did (like getting me a cool cloth for my forehead & ice chips while i was pushing) that he never, ever would have thought to do but were a big help to me.

birth is a private time, but we never felt like our doula was infringing on that - if anything, she helped protect that sense. as for having a stranger there, is there an opportunity for your husband to meet her before the birth? i know it's coming up pretty quick but it would be worthwhile i expect. usually when you hire a doula there are two pre-natal visits included to chat about your birth plan, hopes, wishes, etc & to get to know each other better. if the three of you could meet for that, maybe your husband wouldn't feel she was so much of a stranger.

good luck with your decision!

 

I love that you mention that. Dh and I were tlaking about this idea again tonight and that is exactly what he would like to do
Originally he was going to attend one of my massage appts with me so she could show him things he could do to help me, but I really like her new offer of being there with us. Hopefully her and Dh can connect.

 

Remind your dh that at least 3 other strangers will be in the room... the nurse, the doctor and the resident when your baby is born... and sometimes even more than that. If you are comfortable with it I would totally recommend it. Having someone there to give massage and help you through it would be really great.

 

I was intrigued by the thought of hiring a doula, and the cost put me off... and my doc mentioned the whole thing about "why would you invite a stranger to watch you make out on the couch..." ha ha! well, I didn't end up hiring one, and kinda wish I had, though I might have still ended up w/a c-section due to high blood pressure...

anyway, with that said, I think its a great idea for free! though it would be really nice if she could learn a little more about being a doula to really assist you, hopefully it works out and you and dh will enjoy having her help you both out!