My in-laws are coming tomorrow!

Hey everyone,

I just had to post a little vent to get this out of my system before they show up. They will be here in the morning and the are staying ALL week! They will be sleeping at a bed and breakfast about 1/2 mile from my house (I am thankful they are at least not sleeping here!) I am just dreading it.

We only see them twice a year - December and July - but I just can't stand it when they come! The show up at 9 am and don't leave until after 11 pm! My step-mother-in-law is impossible to please - she doesn't like anything. We have tried doing things with them when they come up but all she does is complain! Thus, we will be stuck in this house 24/7 for an entire week while they sit on the sofa and eat chocolate and talk about how terrible everything is. Last time they came the twins were only six weeks old - do you think they offered to get dinner for us or help in anyway? No- they sat there while Nick and I took care of two babies, the two older kids, cooked all their meals, cleaned up their mess. AND THEY STAY UNTIL 11PM!!!

I am just so stressing out! My house is a mess - there is no way I will get it clean on time! I have no idea what to make them for lunches! With us we just have leftovers, soup, or mac-n-cheese. They need the full lunches to be even a little content. Same with dinner. They need full meals with desserts! We hardly ever eat dessert (my son has big time allergies so most of those are out for him). I got lunch meat and a pile of expensive cheese for them to have sandwiches for lunch, but my husband reminded me this morning that they like the special musterds and pickles (now - we have musterd and pickles but not the "special" kind.) Our grocery trip was almost $100 more than normal since they are "snackers" and like to eat chocolate and pretzels all day as well.

I am just so dreading it! The babies just started crawling so we have to keep every little thing off the floor. Plus, my SMIL plays favorites with my kids - and that so upsets me. She hates my son and the older twin, she spoils my four year old and the younger twin! Heck, my son is really into rocks and fossils. SMIL wanted to go to the rock shop last summer - we took her there and who do you think she bought the fossil for - my daughter!!! What the heck - Gabe is the one that is into the fossils - not Evie. She didn't even offer to get Gabe a fossil. Ugh - I am just totally not looking forward to the amount of work next week is going to be! I am so thankful I work on Wednesday! At least that will be one day of break for the kids and I (I am still taking the kids to daycare on that day!)

Thanks for letting me vent. I know it will be O.K. - it always is - God somehow gives me the strength to get through it (listen to me - it sounds like some traumatic thing - aren't I melodramatic). I know that the thought of them coming is actually worse in some ways than having them here - I just wish they could be good Grandparents to my kids and enjoy taking them to the park or mini golfing or SOMETHING - instead of just sitting here on the sofa getting upset when the kids get bored and start getting loud!

Angel

 

:hug99: to you. First of all, do not kill yourself. They are guests in your home and since they are family they should learn to help and be accomodating. Secondly, maybe it is time to let her know how you feel with your DH's support. You are killing yourself with worry and I do not know if it is even appreciated.

Trust me I understand about IL's and worrying about pleasing them, but I have begun to come to the conculsion that I have to do what is best for my "family" and sometimes that means not making the rest of the "family" happy.

Good Luck sweetie...let us know how it goes.

 

Good luck Angel! :hug99:

 

Good Luck!! I know it's hard but try not kill yourself accomodating them. Especially since they are going to complain no matter what KWIM? If they "need" a snack/mustard/cheese whatever that you don't have consider being bold & saying something like "Oh that would be such a great help if you ran out to the grocery & picked up this & that along with the mustard - it's really easy to find...start giving them driving directions." OR what if you said I'm taking the kids on a walk/ to the park/mall climbing area/whatever - do you want to come too? If you have something you normally do every Monday just tell them Mondays are our park day - the kids love it, we'll leave about X:00. Let them decide to sit on the couch all week or join in YOUR normal day...if all else fails, can you get called in to work? :hug99:

 

Good luck with your in-laws. Company in your home is always a lot of extra work. I hope it goes smoother than you are anticipating!! Vicki

 

Wow! Good luck. I wouldn't stress over cleaning or feeding them. I would probably say something to them if they kept complaining. My SMIL kept complaining about the weather last time they came and I finally asked her what she wanted me to do about it. lol She stopped complaining.

 

*I* had anxiety reading your post so I can only imagine how you feel! :wacko: I can relate to the stress of the in-laws, unfortunately, mine are only 20 minutes away and are crrrrrrrrrazy! Good luck this week. You will find the strength to get through the week!!

 

Screw 'em! Sorry to sound harsh but I'm just being extremely blunt. If they want special pickles they need to heave their heinies off the couch and get them. They are bored, oh well, we are going to the park. They want fancy food? Great, there are restaurants in town I'm sure. And if they complain about your hospitality just say, "Well, you know how it is..." or some other vague answer. Seriously, don't break your back over these people. Oh and make sure the kids get to bed on time no matter how they complain. Maybe then they'll leave early.

Good luck! Sorry for being so blunt I have an awful headache and just can't seem to think of a more "PC" way of putting it!

 

Oh I so know what you are going through! My FIL was here for three weeks this past February and just sat on my sofa all day long and just watched me deal with all the kids. He tried to help with the twins, but they just cried anyway! My DH and I don't know his dad very well...his parents divorced when he was 5 and his dad moved over 1000 miles away and didn't see them but maybe 5 x s while DH was growing up. Anyway, it was very awkward to have him here and just sit. I felt like all he did was watch what we were doing. I agree with PP that said to just announce that you are going here or there and leave it up to them to go along or not. Don't stop your life just because they are there...it's not like they are pleasant to have in your home! ALso, I wouldn't go out of your way to cook special things...if they don't like it they can either help or go out to eat! Well, good luck! I'm sure it won't be as hard as you think.
:hug99:

 

QUOTE(MichelleL @ Jul 22 2007, 12:41 AM) [snapback]340151[/snapback]
*I* had anxiety reading your post so I can only imagine how you feel! :wacko: I can relate to the stress of the in-laws, unfortunately, mine are only 20 minutes away and are crrrrrrrrrazy! Good luck this week. You will find the strength to get through the week!!

My thoughts as well except my in-laws are a little bit farther away. Good luck Angel! :hug99: