My Husband Is Acting Like A DINK!

I know my DH is nervous about our delivery....I lost my mucus plug yesterday and the induction is scheduled for Tuesday...so he's on guard for changes at a moment's notice...

for the past 3 days, he's like a cat on a hot tin roof....going frikkin nuts cleaning, washing bed clothes, mowing the lawn, scrubbing corners, the bathrooms, painting stuff, hanging pictures, the list goes on and on and on...he's looking for stuff to do and creating more work....he's stressing me out big time and I tell him to slow down and relax and sit with me but he's quick with me and giving me a little attitude and today even said "YES KATE!" (as in John and Kate)....because I asked him to pass me something and he was busy doing some of his "work" and I had to be a little firm in saying...ahhh "can you just pass me that?!"....he was rude! AND his mother is here sitting and observing all of this...she's uncomfortable..when he leaves the room she says "oh, just ignore him, he's just nervous"....

the thing is - he's driving me NUTS and this should be a time when he needs to support me and calm me....
argh! i'm so darn frustrated right now. i cannot even talk to him .
they went out shopping and i'm going to have a bath and try to relax....we have so much tension. he did not even say bye when they went out.

i hate this.

anyone else here going through this with your significant other?

 

I'm not supporting ur DH but thinking its his way of dealing with his stress, maybe go into another room, lie down and let him get the house in tip top shape before the babies come. I don't think sitting him down and talking to him will help at this point as he sounds too worked up

if ur up to it you could go out for lunch with your MIL and let him continue his frenzy.

Hugs to you and good luck with everything,

 

I'd love for my dh to be busy trying to get some stuff done before the babies arrived. It sounds as if he is channeling his nervous energy into trying to be prepared. It would probably drive him nuts to just sit around. :hug: I know this is frustrating for you. Perhaps you can work out a compromise with him.

 

:hug:'s

Yes, it definately sounds like this is how he's dealing with his nervousness. I'm sorry it's making you stressed out and causing tension between you two. That's not fun. Can you go into another room, like previous poster suggested. Maybe tell him the family room is off limits to him and his frenzy and that way you don't have to see it. I'm sorry.

:grouphug:

 

My husband is exactly the same! He handles stress by either ironing, cleaning or rearranging furniture. When he gets like that, it's really hard on me, because I don't deal well with chaos. Everything has to be in it's place and so when he goes on one of his sprees (like last weekend when he cleared out the playroom, kitchen/dining area to clean the hardwood floors!), I'm a nervous wreck until my house gets put back together. I understand how you feel completely!

I've learned to handle it by either leaving the house for a few hours, or going into another room to do my own thing. Sometimes it's reading or watching a movie or doing anything I can to ignore what's happening on the other side of that closed door. But, I also spend that time reminding myself that his way of dealing with nervous energy and stress is so much better than what it could be. He cares enough about our family to channel that energy in a positive way and at the end of the day, my house is clean and my husband is happy.

It has got to be a lot harder on you now that you're in these last few days of your pregnancy and probably aren't moving around a whole lot (if you are, kudos to you, because I was a beached whale!). Talk to him about it, let him know your concerns and see if maybe there's a way for both of you to enjoy this time together before the babies arrive.

 

:hug: Like everyone else is saying it's probably the best way he can try and stay calm, plus it's great that he's getting stuff done while doing that LOL! Better than being at the bar instead! Although he could be being nicer for sure! (I can't blame you on that Kate comment I would have been livid!) I am so sorry you're on the receiving end of his stress, I think that going to lunch is a great idea or shopping if you're up to it or maybe even a pedicure! Pamper youself if he's too busy stressing to do it for you. I hope you feel better!!! :hug:

 

:hug: I am sorry he is driving you crazy. I agree with the pp's in that it is probably just his own way of dealing with the stress. I hope he can settle down and you can enjoy this time together!

 

QUOTE(Little June Bug @ May 28 2009, 02:16 PM) [snapback]1331025[/snapback]
I know my DH is nervous about our delivery....I lost my mucus plug yesterday and the induction is scheduled for Tuesday...so he's on guard for changes at a moment's notice...

for the past 3 days, he's like a cat on a hot tin roof....going frikkin nuts cleaning, washing bed clothes, mowing the lawn, scrubbing corners, the bathrooms, painting stuff, hanging pictures, the list goes on and on and on...he's looking for stuff to do and creating more work....he's stressing me out big time and I tell him to slow down and relax and sit with me but he's quick with me and giving me a little attitude and today even said "YES KATE!" (as in John and Kate)....because I asked him to pass me something and he was busy doing some of his "work" and I had to be a little firm in saying...ahhh "can you just pass me that?!"....he was rude! AND his mother is here sitting and observing all of this...she's uncomfortable..when he leaves the room she says "oh, just ignore him, he's just nervous"....

the thing is - he's driving me NUTS and this should be a time when he needs to support me and calm me....
argh! i'm so darn frustrated right now. i cannot even talk to him .
they went out shopping and i'm going to have a bath and try to relax....we have so much tension. he did not even say bye when they went out.

i hate this.

anyone else here going through this with your significant other?




I know you're upset but I had to chuckle a little at your post. I cant believe your husband actually knows who Kate from John & Kate plus 8 is -- thats hilarious to me. :rotflmbo:

Its so funny how different we all are and how different things stress people. Me, I would love it if my husband got busy when he got nervous. Instead I can tell you that he will sit right under me and stare and hover around me worrying about whether I'm ok and THAT would make me insane. I will be trying to find things to keep him busy.

It sounds like the end is very near though. I hope he calms down enough for you not to kill him. You dont want to have those babies in a holding cell.

 

Also agree with other posters about his way of handling stress....

And if he needs another house to clean.....can he come over?

 

OMG. I wanted to stab my DH repeatedly from the moment I delivered until about two weeks after we got home. I kept telling him he was like a big old Daddy Bear getting his den ready and there was no one to put in it, so he was all mean. Lol...I can laugh now, but he really was ridiculous. (Not with cleaning unfortunately-I'd have let him do that! ) If anyone so much as *looked* at me, he was on them like stink on sh*t. Everyone got so sick of him, we finally nominated his poor Dad to take him out for a "talk". Lol....that shaped him up. I think he might have gotten a spanking.

He'll snap out of it hon. I promise. Just try to go away from him and let him do his thing.

 

i TOTALLY understand how it can be driving you crazy...but look on the bright side...at least the to do list will be nice and short by the time the babies come...I have a friend whose husband chose to channel his nervous energy into mountain bike riding and golf...so he was NEVER home those last few days...so you'll have to choose your battles, you know? Hang in there!!!

 

I WISH my dh would get busy and do things around here... we have the opposite problem lol We have been arguing a lot lately though, my mil witnessed one big one too and had a big talk w my dh lol I love having her on "my side". I'm hoping we'll start getting a long again sometime after the babies are born

 

lol okay ladies, you made me open my eyes. i guess it could be much worse. i just thought he should be calming me down and focusing on my well being, rather than getting caught up in his own emotions. i need to realize he has emotions too and he is the dad and he needs to deal with it in his way.

i'll give him space and try to relax myself. i chatted with my doula this am and she was good to talk to in easing my anxieties.