My first day "alone"

For the first time since the babies were born I'm alone! We had help lined up for the first several weeks..and now everyone is gone, and DH is back at work. It's been an ok day--but my 2 year old is driving me batty! I just don't know how to keep him happy. He used to be a really good self-entertainer, now he requires my complete attention/participation ALL DAY! Juggling that with nursing babies and preparing meals and normal stuff like that is exhausting! He's having meltdowns about nothing, and no amount of playing or special time with him is enough! Is it awful I'm already counting the hours until his bedtime? (3 1/2 to be exact!) DH has school tonight as well, so I don't get any reinforcements after work today either. I realize this is my life now--and gazillions before me have lived through it...I'm just a little overwhelmed today. Any suggestions on coping?


Reyna

 

No real advice since my DH is actually the one that stays home at our house. Just wanted to send :hug99: s, you can do this! You're at a hard age with the babies, they need to be fed constantly and you've got to be exhausted (I'm still exhausted and mine are 6 months). Just keep at it, as things get into more of a routine they will settle down. Your 2 yo will adjust to the new babies and life will return to some normalcy (or as normal as life with 3 little ones can be that is).

 

I agree that that first 3-4 months are the toughest. Things will get into a groove and get better for everyone. Just hang on and do you what you need to do.

 

I found it got better around 6 mths.

 

I agree, the first 3-4 months are the pits! I don't have any real advice but I toughed it out and used liberal doses of TV when I was at my wits end. :hug99:

 

Hey you - you'll do fine - although the days ARE long. And i DON'T have a two year old (I find myself looking at the clock in the middle of teh night counting the hours til i can wake DH (I do wake him if i really need him but try to let him sleep til 5 or so).....

here's what helped me: i started inviting people to come over - good friends; it gave me a bit of respite, with another pair of hands to hold a baby for at least a little while, and also gave me a sense of not being completely a PRISONER of the nursery....

another thing; are there any young teenagers in your neighborhood, or kids of friends or peopel you know from church or synagogue or something? Perhaps you can get a 'mother's helper', someone at least to play w/your older child.

And, um, did you say you're preparing meals?? I don't THINK so!!!! DH should be doing that or maybe you can tap into your network; i know for us we had people from our synagogue bringing us meals (still do til tomorrow), which REALLY helped, since it was all DH could do to throw out the paper plates and forks (and we're usually VERY 'green')

hang in there; my girls have been home for four weeks (or is it five?) and it's getting a LITTLE easier....i imagine that it will be even easier in a few months.

big hug - and stop cooking!

 

I remember feeling the exact same way my first day home with all 3. As much as I hate to admit it, I used TV a lot to help keep my older DS occupied. Now that the babies are 5 months we're getting into more of a routine & it's definitely easier. Do you have any friends/family who can stop by for a quick visit occasionally? My sister comes over at least a few days a week to visit & it really helps break up the long days when DH works overtime.

 

Hang in there! It will get easier. My older DD went through the same thing - it makes you wonder why anyone with a toddler and twins doesn't automatically get a third arm surgically implanted!!!

QUOTE
As much as I hate to admit it, I used TV a lot to help keep my older DS occupied.


This was my saving grace too (guilt guilt guilt) in fact I still use it when I BF the babies in the evening because big sister is much more fun to watch than mommy's chest! Just remember it's only a short time and once he gets used to the routine it will be easier for him too.

Something that also worked for us was two baby dolls that she took care of while I did the babies. I know he's a boy - but hey so is Daddy! We also tried the 'nursing' toys with limited success.

As for the food we had a lot of frozen dinners and salads in a bag! Ask a good friend to organise a meal drive for you. Get people to prepare something that can go from the freezer to the oven or microwave and package it into meal sized portions. It really helped.

Good luck! The chaos never stops but you get better at handling it!

 

Thank you so much! It's just nice to know this is normal! I took your advice and called a friend today and we went over and our toddlers played for a few hours--it was awesome! It tuckered my little man out so much he didn't even fight me at bedtime and went right to sleep with a smile on his face. Perhaps I will live afterall.....

And I think I will look into a "mother's helper" to maybe come over a few afternoons to help out a little. I am amazed at all of you who have already BDTD. What champs!

Reyna

 

Reyna

not to repeat myself but - i would call friends and see if they can organize a meal drive ( I love that expressiona dn was so tired when i last posted i couldnt' remember it!)....I know that before i got pregnant i had a really hard time accepting help from anyone for anything, much less ASKING for it: well, i've gotten really good at it.

when i was on bedrst someone called and asked what i needed and i said 'a meal so dh doesn't have to cook, and, oh, can you fold laundry?" 9because i couldn't). Well, she came, we chatted, she folded and then thanked me for the opportunity to do a good deed.

Bottom line, people WANT To hlep, and if you can be specific, they will likely give you waht you need, and THEY will feel good because you will be genuinely appreciative.

I try to remember that as much as i like to help people, other folks want the same opportunity.

hang in there!

 

All i have to say is it will get better, just take one day at a time. Big :hug99: to you. x

 

I was lucky enough to have meals brought in for the first few weeks from friends/neighbors/church members..... it's just that they're all gone now! Now don't go getting any ideas that I'm some kind of fancy-pants chef right now--when I say I'm preparing meals, I mean like chicken nuggets and pizza! DH is very helpful in his domain (the grill) so I really can't complain. Thanks again for all the support. It's nice to know it's bound to get better....

Reyna

 

I feel your pain!!

:hug99: ,

Heather