My extrovert

Jacob is an extremely extroverted child. He loves to be around other children and craves interaction with them. While we were in Ecuador, it wasn't a problem because he went to preschool until 12:30 then played outside most afternoons with the other kids in our compound. But now here in the US, we're unsure what to do with him. We can't afford preschool, so that just isn't an option. There is not a single kid in our neighborhood home during the day. All are in school or daycare. DH reports that on many days the local playgrounds are deserted also. Activities with Aaron and/or DH just aren't enough for him. DH does library storytime, outdoor playgrounds, local museums, etc. Jacob seems to need that interaction with other people, preferably children.

DH and I are both introverts, nearly off the chart introverts. We're unsure what to do with this strange kid we produced.
Any suggestions? He cries at least a couple of times a week that he has not friends to play with. He does have friends, but they just aren't around at his convenience. He's a good kid whose behavior is suffering as a result.

 

I think you or your dh is going to have to actively seek out other kids for him. I would start with kids at storytime. I have trouble talking to other people also, but I finally got up the courage to talk to a lady who seemed to have the same discipline standards with similiarly aged kids. That was almost 3 years ago and she is my best friend now. She's a nanny and we do lots of things together. At least once or twice a week. It just took some courage on my part to find some friends for the kids.

You might try a local parents/twins club and see if they have playdates. You could also call the school district and see if there is a play group for preschoolers. Our district has one that I had no idea about till kindergarten registration and they were trying to recruit younger siblings. I would also talk to the children's librarians. All the ones I know have a pretty good idea of playgroups and activities within the community.

I think it's just going to take coming out of your introvert shell a little. Good Luck.

Marissa

 

Did you check to see if they qualify for head start due to their language skills? I was going to try to get my girls into head start when we were in the US because at first we were going for 6 months, but decided to stay only 3 so I didn't do it. (of course mine would have probably qualified economically as well as being Spanish speakers). What about other free activities at museums or something in addition to the library? A homeschool play group? Check the homeschool message board for people nearby. When ever I'm in a city I usually take the girls to a McDonalds, order just a coffee, and let them play, they always seem to find instant friends in those places and all it costs is a couple of dollars (for my coffee).
What month does kindergarden start there? Get him a calendar and mark the day when he will go back to school and check it each day for that and other special days.

 

ohh, now you have given us a challenge for May

You have gotten some good advice, and Kindergarten is less than 6 months away. Also, see if the public school offers some kind of camp. Many times they are open to incoming Kindergarteners, and are pretty low in cost. Summer is coming soon Also, with your DH's musical ability, he may want to look at working at a camp teaching music while the kids attend--I do that at a camp, and it is a great deal. The boys go for free, and I get paid

 

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I think it's just going to take coming out of your introvert shell a little.

I agree completely, but I have to convince DH to do the same as he's the one home all day. I've learned to adapt as an introvert in an extrovert world because my career depends on it. But being a SAHD allows DH to retreat into his shell.

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Did you check to see if they qualify for head start due to their language skills? What about other free activities at museums or something in addition to the library? A homeschool play group? Check the homeschool message board for people nearby. When ever I'm in a city I usually take the girls to a McDonalds, order just a coffee, and let them play, they always seem to find instant friends in those places and all it costs is a couple of dollars (for my coffee).
What month does kindergarden start there? Get him a calendar and mark the day when he will go back to school and check it each day for that and other special days.

They are in speech therapy at the local elementary school, but we've never met any of the parents. Their peers in the therapy are all in K. All of the museums here are free (gotta love the Smithsonian), and DH takes them, but it doesn't provide the peer interaction Jacob seems to need. None of the fast food places around here have playgrounds. How weird is that? But our city has amazing outdoor playgrounds and park, so as the weather improves they will have more options to play. But again the playgrounds are deserted because all the kids are in daycare. It's been shocking to us how few stay at home parents there are...but then this location is very expensive, so no wonder both parents have to work.

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Also, see if the public school offers some kind of camp. Many times they are open to incoming Kindergarteners, and are pretty low in cost.

We've enrolled them in summer school which is about 5 weeks from July-August. K doesn't start until the day after Labor Day, so like Sept 7? They'll also start t-ball and resume swim lessons in April.

We can usually arrange a playdate on the weekends. It's the weekdays and lack of kids available to play with that are hard. They are soooooooo ready to start K, and I think they'll do well...if we can just get over their rejection of Spanish. They love to pretend that they don't speak Spanish anymore. We've enrolled them in the English/Spanish immersion program, which is another reason we wanted them in summer school. We're hoping to get the anxiety over being separated and the reluctance about Spanish out of the way before K starts.

How did I birth an extrovert? I feel like G-d is playing a practical joke on me. :lol:

 

Hi

I live in suburban Washington as well (Rockville, MD) but I work in Virginia. Let me know where you live and I will see if I can think of some stuff or ask my co-workers.

 

I really am frustrated with Jacob.

Yesterday, we spent several hours at the playground. We only came home when they said they were tired. Within 3 minutes of being home, Jacob wanted to call the neighbor to see if their son was home to play. It was pushing up against supper time, so we told him no - which launched him into tears. THis spring he'll have an activity every.single.day (except Sunday) but I fear it still won't be enough.

I'm at a loss as to how to handle him. Simply planning more activities for him isn't enough. He's a hyper extrovert who needs interaction every waking moment. We need to somehow manage his expectations, but he resists when we try to explain why he can't seek out a playmate (besides his brother) whenever he feels like it.

 

Cathy,

I'm starting to think that maybe it's not so much that he's an extravert, but because you and DH are not, it's easy for you to think that's the main issue. It kind of sounds like it has at least in part to do with him learning he can't always get what he wants. It's not the he needs that interaction, that's just what he wants. If anyone knows an easy way to teach that life lesson, please let me know as well.

 

Cathy, we get that from the boy sometimes too. Believe it or not, just making a playdate is enough most times. Like if they can't play with the neighbor today, but 2 days from now works, we just plan it out. That will make them happy KNOWING that there is a playdate coming. Can you try that? Also, I don't know if you do this, but I print a monthly calendar and put it on the fridge with all our activities, that also helps the boys out. Plus we get the added benefit of them learning how to read the calendar.

My point is, like Melissa said, it may not be that he so much needs the next interaction as he needs to know when it will occur. Hope this helps!