I can't sleep and don't know where else to go. My DH died of a heart attack on Tuesday. He was only 45. A week ago he was complaining of heartburn, something he has never done in the 18 years that I have know him. He wanted some of the tums that I took when I was pg. Then last weekend, he went to a family wedding in Texas. I spoke to him Saturday and he complained of having an upset stomach and thought it might of been the food at the rehersal dinner. He was taking immodium and it was not helping. Monday he still was not feeling well and thought he just had a virus. He went to work on Tuesday and came home around 6:30 p.m. He was watching tv downstairs and I was up in our room on the computer. Around 9:00 I heard a "thud" and for a split second thought maybe something was wrong. With a the boys stuff, we are always knocking things down. About 5 minutes later I went downstairs to get something to drink and I found him in our kitchen unresponsive, his eyes open. I yelled and shock him and then called 911. They had me do cpr until the paramedics came. They worked on him for maybe 15 minutes and then we rushed to the hospital. When I got there, they escorted me in a room with a chaplin and I freaked out. They assured me he was only keeping me company. About 10 minutes later the Dr. came in and said he was sorry, DH is dead. He never did have a pulse and he did not respond to the medications. His family and I decided to get an autopsy since he was a healthly 6' 165l man. He had a 95% blockage in one of his arteries. He was doing some heavy lifting at work and the corrinor said that might of pushed the other 5%. If he would of gone in last week, chances are they would of done a bypass and he'd be with me today. I still can't believe this is happening to us. I'm a 40 y/o widow with two 8 month old boys. It took us 5 years and 3 ivf cycles to get our beautiful boys. They will never know what a wonderful, caring loving man he was. He wanted them so badly and was a wonderful father. I went to the funeral home and made arrangements. Today I have to go to the cemetary to find a plot. Tomorrow is the wake and Saturday the funeral. I don't know what to do. I miss him so much and I can't imagine my life without him. I met him when I was 22 and my whole adult like was with him. Where do I go now? How am I going to be able to take care of our boys? All I ask is that you keep us in your prayers. I need every ounce of strenth to get through these next couple of days. I wish I could wake up and find that this was only a horrible nightmare.
I truly cannot put into words how sorry I am for you and your boys. All 3 of you will be in my prayers for a long,long time. My aunt was 42 and my uncle was 36 when my uncle died of a massive heart attack when they were getting ready for bed. They had a 3 month old baby boy at the time. Now my cousin is a fine 18 year old young man. God bless all of you. Try to go to support groups, my aunt said they really helped her. I know your DH would be very proud of you for being such a great mom. :hug:
Oh Dear God, I am speechless. I am so sorry. I am sorry for your loss, and for your sweet boys. I will be praying for you. I wish there was more that I could do. :grouphug:
I can't for a moment fathom what you're going through right now! :hug: :hug: :hug: My thoughts are with you and your sweet babies! I have no doubt that they will give you much of the strength you need to persevere.
I am so sorry. You have my deepest condolences on the loss of your DH. I am just weeping at your tragic story. I will keep you and your boys in my thoughts. :hug:
Judy, I'm so very sorry :hug: . I don't know where to begin. Thank you for sharing this with us. I know you must have so much on your plate right now. I would suggest, when you feel the time is right, to attend a grief support group. You might also want to look into individual counseling, as you've had a major life change and might benefit from the extra support. On TS, there's a Life after Loss forum as well. :grouphug:
Oh my gosh Judy. :hug: I am so very sorry for your loss. :cry: I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I hope the boys provide some comfort to you. You will be in my prayers. :hug: :hug:
The thoughts and prayers of myself and my family will be with you as you deal with this loss and your grief. I pray that God gives you the strength to endure. Don't feel you have to be too strong to handle this alone. Let your family and friends lend you help and support. Take care of yourself and your children. I am so sorry for your loss.
Judy, I am so sorry for your loss. I send you lots of hugs and prayers. Jacob and Joshua will know what a wonderful father they had because you will keep that memory alive for them. :hug:
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words to describe what you must be going through....... Big HUGS!
Judy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your DH. I can't even imagine and there really are no words to express that feeling. Many thoughts and prayers will be with you as you go through this grieving process.
I have tears in my eyes. I can not imagine what you are going through. I will certainly keep you and the boys in my prayers. :hug:
I'm so very sorry, I can't imagine what you are going through and my heart is breaking for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sweet boys. :hug:
I am so sorry. There are really no word. Your whole family is in my thoughts. Please let us know, as a community, if there is anything you need. :hug:
Dear Lord, We lift up Judy, Jacob and Joshua and place them in your hands. Please be with each of them. Give them each what they need - that only you know. Please help Judy to have a peace that can only come from you. Give her rest, give her good memories, give her people around her to love her. Be with Jacob and Joshua, they will all need you. Please. Amen I will continue to pray for you. I'm so sorry.
