My dd made me feel horrible early this morning

My dd (the twins are almost 28 months) has gotten really attached to her "first Mommy" baby doll over the past few months. She has had for a good year or so, but never really showed any interest in it. Well, it has become a fixture so that where ever she is the doll is. Not a problem exect at nap and bedtime. She takes forever to settle down anyway and her having the doll in there didn't help. Well after fighting with her for many weeks and giving her many chances I finally told her that baby had to go to the playroom and sleep in ther own bed at nap and nighttime. Of course the first time she faught it but I told her she was playing and not sleeping and she couldn't have her until nap was over or in the morning. She still messed around a little, but she did go to sleep faster. We have only done this for a few days to a week at the most. She doesn't seem to play with her as much during the day now either. Anyway, after the first time she has willingly gone in to put her to bed and was fine with it. Early this morning she started yelling no, no , no. She talks out a lot in her sleep and I just woke up and was listening. Then she said, no mommy no. Of course that woke me even further and I thought oh my goodness what was she dreaming about. Maybe a timeout, or spanking or something. I went in to settle her and cover her and she said no, I hold baby. Well, that made me just cry. Have I hurt her emotionally in some way by taking the doll? Maybe it is pregnancy hormones (I'm 23 weeks) making it worse, but I feel terrible. She loves that doll. When we go somewhere, as we are pulling into the parking lot she will say hold baby. Telling me that she wants to take her with us and and she will just hold her. What should I do? My husband is out of town and I called him and was crying before I got the whole story out. I'm sure he thinks I am crazy! Oh well. The biggest issue with the baby is that she undresses her while in her bed and then yells for me to put the clothes back on. I don't mind putting the clothes back on, but she really needs to be sleeping not playing. We have to get my oldest ds from school at 3 so we have to leave about 2:45. On a good day she will get 45 minutes of sleep. DS is fine. He just goes to sleep. I have a real reason for her not having her in bed, but she doesn't understand that. What would you do? I never thought a baby doll would put me into tears!

 

If the toy is bothering her sleep pattern, I think you did the right thing. Stay strong on the conviction there and she will forget it before you know it. Did she have as much problem going to sleep with it at night as she did during the day? If not, maybe see if baby can sleep in there at night, but warn her she cannot take her clothes off of her until she wakes up in the morning or else baby will have to go back to sleeping alone. As for the dream, she may have not even been talking about the baby doll but instead the new baby coming.

 

How about getting pajamas for the doll? That way she can undress the doll, get the doll ready for bed by dressing her in pajamas, then go to sleep with the doll. Make it part of the pre-nap/pre-bedtime routine. Tell your dd that the doll likes to sleep in pajamas so she shouldn't undress her again once she has her pj's on.

My girls aren't as old as your daughter so I'm not talking from experience or anything. Just an idea.

Hope it all works out soon!

 

Maybe you can set up a little bed for the doll using an empty shoe box or something and put it in the playroom. Then your daughter can put the doll to sleep before she goes to take her nap. Hopefully, this will reassure your daughter that the doll is safe and sound, and it will reinforce the fact that she should sleep too, just like her dolly.

 

QUOTE(BRMommy @ Oct 4 2007, 05:26 PM) [snapback]435810[/snapback]
Maybe you can set up a little bed for the doll using an empty shoe box or something and put it in the playroom. Then your daughter can put the doll to sleep before she goes to take her nap. Hopefully, this will reassure your daughter that the doll is safe and sound, and it will reinforce the fact that she should sleep too, just like her dolly.



That is exactly what I did. She has a little doll baby bed in the playroom. I have her put her to bed and cover her up just like we do her. She really seems fine with it. Today at nap she went right in and covered her up without me even telling her to. I don't know. Maybe I am reading more into it than I should. We all dream, but it just made me really sad to think that I did something to make her so upset. She has always been one that has needed a wind down period. It pretty much never fells that she fusses before she settles down and goes to sleep. What do you think, do I give the baby back and face the battles again, or stick with it since at the times to go to bed she isn't upset?

 

QUOTE(Momto1now3 @ Oct 4 2007, 08:15 PM) [snapback]436049[/snapback]
She has a little doll baby bed in the playroom. I have her put her to bed and cover her up just like we do her. She really seems fine with it. Today at nap she went right in and covered her up without me even telling her to. I don't know. Maybe I am reading more into it than I should. We all dream, but it just made me really sad to think that I did something to make her so upset. She has always been one that has needed a wind down period. It pretty much never fells that she fusses before she settles down and goes to sleep. What do you think, do I give the baby back and face the battles again, or stick with it since at the times to go to bed she isn't upset?

:hug99: Don't feel so bad, I'm sure she is not really that upset. Given that you've got this far and she seems fine I would probably stick with it. However if it would make you feel better maybe you could compromise a bit and move the dolls bed into her bedroom? Explain that she needs to let baby stay in bed to sleep and if she gets her up then you will have to put baby's bed back in the other room. Then she could see/talk to the doll but you wont have to deal with the undressing.

 

I would also say if it's going well, don't mess with it. My girls put their dolls and toys in Time Out all the time and say the doll wasn't listening and that makes me feel like all I do is put them in TO. They don't go to TO that much, maybe once every couple days, but I guess it sticks in their minds. I wouldn't read too much into the dream. BTW, I also have the same problem with undressing dolls and then hollering for me to put the clothes on.

 

I heard my little girl basically crying the same thing the other night. She kept saying "baby baby, want baby". The only problem was she HAD her baby in bed w/her. I really wouldn't worry about it too much. She might have been dreaming about something all together different. Having the doll in the bed didn't make a bit of difference in my little ones cries.

 

I told my husband last night (he was still out of town) that maybe I over reacted to what she said. Often when we are out running errands she wants to take the baby in with us and she will say "I hold baby". Maybe she was dreaming that I was making her keep it in the van. I think I am going to stick to her putting baby down when it is time to sleep. She seems to have accepted it. Hopefully things will smooth out some. Thanks to all who have replied.