my boys cry/fuss/wail A LOT!

I'm writing today, because everytime I do it tends to mend my problem...sooo...

My guys are now 20 months and they have very few words (well, pretty much none) and they have really started to cry/wail/whine about everything and I'm going CRAZY!!!!

It's one thing that they cry out to get their juice or because they are hungry - I know those cries... but its another when I have to come to a stop at a red light and they both start screaming, or when in the stroller I stop to talk/shop/cross the road they cry, when we are out in the yard they cry, when we are visiting people they cry, when people come to visit us they cry...unless Baby Einstein is on - go figure!!

I know its all for something...I know that they don't (usually) cry for nothing...but this not talking frustration is not just frustrating for them - I'm exhausted at being cried at all the time - and frankly I feel like they are so unhappy with their life, that they aren't pleased with anything, that life just SUCKS, because all they do all the time is cry - and although NO ONE said mothering was easy - it just ain't fun no more!!! (until they light up and laugh again - it makes up for all that crying) but still....

I've read many times that boys are more emotional and cry more than girls in the first few years - but if any one has ANY suggestions as to how to get them to stop, because asking them to, ignoring them, and/or getting to the point of yelling at them doesn't work either!!!
I really don't want to keep redirecting them with Baby Einstein or snacks etc....

I'd like to just find an easy solution - besides getting them to finally talk, that would be nice!!!

Anyway, I'm just plainly frustrated and CAN"T WAIT for this stage to pass....ugh! when will it end???? :huh:

 

Well, if I hadn't known better I would have thought this was me posting this!! My boys are just over 19 months and they don't have words either. I know exactly what type of screams/whines you are talking about. It's very draining. I am the same way, I do not want to put them in front of the TV all the time or give them snacks all the time to keep them somewhat happy. I know it's frustrating and although I do not have any suggestions, I can just tell you I am right there with you. I can't go to the grocery store and stop in an isle without them getting upset. I'm not sure what to make of it. I always tell my DH that I think that they are bored and unhappy with the same old scenery. I have always taken my boys out since they were itty bitty because I wanted them to get used to it. I have even taken them to the park by myself which is hard but I do it. We go to a weekly play group and always do things as a family on the weekend. I'm not sure what the answer is. :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Brandi78 @ May 20 2008, 06:43 PM) [snapback]784117[/snapback]
Well, if I hadn't known better I would have thought this was me posting this!! My boys are just over 19 months and they don't have words either. I know exactly what type of screams/whines you are talking about. It's very draining. I am the same way, I do not want to put them in front of the TV all the time or give them snacks all the time to keep them somewhat happy. I know it's frustrating and although I do not have any suggestions, I can just tell you I am right there with you. I can't go to the grocery store and stop in an isle without them getting upset. I'm not sure what to make of it. I always tell my DH that I think that they are bored and unhappy with the same old scenery. I have always taken my boys out since they were itty bitty because I wanted them to get used to it. I have even taken them to the park by myself which is hard but I do it. We go to a weekly play group and always do things as a family on the weekend. I'm not sure what the answer is. :hug99:



i can't tell you how satisfying it is to know that it isn't ONLY my boys!!! Ahhhh, thank you!!
I thought perhaps I was doing something totally wrong!! Pretty much everything you wrote is exactly the same as us!!playgroups, parks, grocery shopping (what a nightmare!!) and most of the time its all by myself - and when they cry/wail - the looks I get!! Oooohhhh Boooyyy!!

What are you doing about the "no words" situation?? :unsure:

 

I also have a crier, and he can talk! He has always been more needy than his sister. :wacko: No advice, but I can definitely relate. :hug99:

 

You could have them evaluated by early intervention. EI has been involved with my girls since they were babies. At 12 months we started working with a communication specialist because the girls weren't talking. They taught us many things to do to make the girls talk. If they grunt or whine for something (example for a drink). You should say, "Oh, you want a drink. Can you say drink?" and then wait for them to respond. If they don't respond give it to them but do it everytime they grunt. They said we should narrate everything we do. "I am going to make lunch now. We need to get out bread. Can you help me find the bread?", etc. I still narrate everything because it is a habit now The other thing they said was to limit TV and don't have it on for background noise. Noise in the background makes it very difficult for kids to distinguish your words so it is hard for them to learn the words and use them themselves. We had a no TV rule until they were 20 months old. And of course read to them all of the time. We also used sign language because they had a slight hearing loss due to fluid on the ears.

I also wanted to mention that my girls have allergies to many foods. We didn't find out about them until they were about 18 months. They used to cling to me and were whiny. Once we knew what they were allergic to and eliminated them from their diet, they were different little girls. The whining and clining went away.

Lack of communication is very frustrating so hopefully some of this help!

 

both my boys have been such Whiners!!!! UGH!!!!

DH and i are convicned it's a boy thing. :laughing:

You are so NOT alone!! I tdoes end, it just takes a while. A long while!

 

My son is definately the whiner in this house-he talks and uses more words than his twin sister but has fits over everything!! His favorite phrase now is NO WAY, and he fights me on just about everything-going to bed/nap, getting in car seat, coming in from outside, changing diaper/getting dressed, the list goes on. I have to really pull at my patience to deal with this :wacko: However, he is really cuddly and loves to snuggle up against me and gives lots of kisses, so that helps get me through it all. You are not the only one-it must be a boy thing because both my girls were never this whiney. I find that changing the scenery (going outside or for a drive to the store or park) helps the situation tremendously. I think he gets very bored and doesn't know what else to do but fuss about it. Hope it gets better for all of us!

 

It is definitely a boy thing!! My boy is a whiner, too. My girl manages to communicate very well without any words sometimes. (I think it remains that way through life!)

 

We have two whiners here too. In the beginning (when they were about the age of your boys), I could blame it on lack of communication skills or teething discomfort, but now that they have all their teeth and talk in 5 word sentences, I don't really have any excuses for their behaviour! Ever since my boys came down with a bad bout of the stomach flu a couple of months ago, they've become super picky eaters. At every mealtime and snacktime they both whine 'I want!' the entire time without telling me WHAT they want (though they have words for pretty much everything they eat). I end up opening the cupboard and fridge and offering them everything and anything, and am greeted with a shriek of 'No!' to each. Talk about frustrating! I'm working a bit harder now to set limits. I'm trying to not always give in and give them sugary snacks/tv, and things are slowly getting better. I've been reading The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers lately and have found some good advice in there. Don't worry - things will get better for you too - hang in there! The other day one of my boys came running to me and said 'I love you, Mommy!' - that made all the whining worth it! :wub:

 

My twins are also 20 months old and are going through a similar phase and it is very trying on ones patience I have been learning that if I keep myself intentionally engaged with them througout the day, the whining/fussing is minimized. So, for example, I have two structured play times each day in which we play with something that we usually do not play with or have not done. This morning I put a line of duct tape down on the carpet and took a bucket full of bean bags and showed them how to pick up a bean bag, walk on the line and dump the bean bag into the other bucket. Granted, it lasted about two minutes before they put the buckets on their heads and started running into furniture, but it calms them down to have me face to face interacting with them, even if its only for 15 minutes at a time. Cleaning the house and getting things done has been put on hold for awhile in order to meet their interactive needs. (We are also dealing with a new baby which brings with it a little extra need for physical contact with mommy). Also, because they can wear me down with their whining and I can tend to give in to their terrorist demands just to maintain my sanity, I have begun to deny them anything until they can respond to me without fussing. If they need help, I will say, "do you need help getting out from under the chair?" they will say "yes", and I will respond, "then you need to ask mommy for help, we don't whine." and then, generally, they will say "help" and I will help them. If they want something to eat or drink they need to say "please". For me, it also helps to take a deep breath or two and repeat to my self, "I am in control. I am the boss. I am in charge." It alleviates some stress. Keep your chin up, if all else fails, give them a boat load of kisses.

 

QUOTE(Joyful @ May 22 2008, 02:27 PM) [snapback]787944[/snapback]
My twins are also 20 months old and are going through a similar phase and it is very trying on ones patience I have been learning that if I keep myself intentionally engaged with them througout the day, the whining/fussing is minimized. So, for example, I have two structured play times each day in which we play with something that we usually do not play with or have not done. This morning I put a line of duct tape down on the carpet and took a bucket full of bean bags and showed them how to pick up a bean bag, walk on the line and dump the bean bag into the other bucket. Granted, it lasted about two minutes before they put the buckets on their heads and started running into furniture, but it calms them down to have me face to face interacting with them, even if its only for 15 minutes at a time. Cleaning the house and getting things done has been put on hold for awhile in order to meet their interactive needs. (We are also dealing with a new baby which brings with it a little extra need for physical contact with mommy). Also, because they can wear me down with their whining and I can tend to give in to their terrorist demands just to maintain my sanity, I have begun to deny them anything until they can respond to me without fussing. If they need help, I will say, "do you need help getting out from under the chair?" they will say "yes", and I will respond, "then you need to ask mommy for help, we don't whine." and then, generally, they will say "help" and I will help them. If they want something to eat or drink they need to say "please". For me, it also helps to take a deep breath or two and repeat to my self, "I am in control. I am the boss. I am in charge." It alleviates some stress. Keep your chin up, if all else fails, give them a boat load of kisses.


Wow...not sure how you handle the twins with a new born...I just don't have the patience, mentality to do that!! and still find the time to come on to twinstuff...kudos to you! And thanks for the advice, encouragement...